gorilla

[Gino]

A lady wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in her tree. She looks in the
phone book and, what do you know, there is a listing for gorilla removal
service.

When she asks if they can remove the gorilla, the service guy asks, "Is it
a male or female?" "Male," she replies. "Oh yeah, we can do it. I'll be
right there," he states.

An hour later, the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a
shotgun,
and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the woman some instructions. "I'm
going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls
out of the tree. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will go to bite the
gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will
then cross his hands to protect himself, allowing you to put the handcuffs
on him."

The woman asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?"

The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla
does, shoot the
Chihuahua."

[Iain]

Warnings have been issued in the past and this joke may have you removed permanently from this forum, it just is not on to post jokes on the forum that are better than Neil's. I will now look out for chihuahua's and gorilla's.

[Gino]

You scared me for a moment, thinking you were serious about the content. But I wont use the B word to discribe you.

p.s you ought to see the ones I don't post.

thanks for the compliment.

regards

Gino

[Iain]

Why not, my wife does http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/wink.gif

Beautiful..Brave..Bigotted..Boring..Brazen..Bugger it, thats enough. Knuckles will come in now with her comments.

[This message has been edited by Iain (edited 17 October 2000).]

[knuckles]

Waddia mean her? You dickey wacker. Stop playin wit yourself an get a life.

Go analize the word association postings, that might help yez get yer rocks off. Bad shrink! Pusti malacka!!!!

Knuckles http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/mad.gif

[Iain]

Gotcha.......Malacka is Greek.
See you at WWW. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif

[knuckles]

Masturbarsi, I got sick of calling yous a wanker in English so I used Greek, I could easily have used French, Latin, Italian, Russian, German, Spanish, or Ozarkian Mountain Man to say the same thing.

Tha Cosa Nostra has branches everywhere, and us wise guys is expected to be able to speak propper in all of them. We have special phrases like. "Gimme the money!" "Tony sent me." "May God have mercy on your soul." and "WANKER!!!"

Gotcha - I think not testa di cozzo.......... Pajero. Wichser. Branleur. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/biggrin.gif

See you at WWW. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/frown.gif Not me sweetheart I don't do public appearances since my release. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/wink.gif

Knuckles

------------------
Don't mess with me! I know where yez live and I might just pay yez a visit. Capish?

[ubeaut]

Iain - Stop tugging at Knuckles's pony tail!!

Knuckles - Sit down, shut and stop calling Iain a wanker or I'll tell your mum.

Play nicely children.

Neil http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/mad.gif

[Don K]

I told yous Knuckles. Do not cause agravation and do not mention the Cosa yous knowstra. Do as my good friend Neil says, and stop calling Iain a wanker. It is not his fault he is a wanker and I am sure dat he does not need yous tellin him all the time. This would be hertful and yous know what the shrink told us about dat.

So please do as your godfather asks and stop calling The Wanker a wanker.

Look, see what yous have gone and done, yous have gotten me calling him a wanker now. I hope yous is happy wit your self.

Iain please forgive Knuckles he is like a little child and needs to be diciplined from time to time. I will have another one of his fingers cut off to-night. I hope this will show you a sign of my good faith and Knuckles sincere regert at calling yous a wanker.

Where should I send the didget. To your home or should I just email it.

The Don

[John Saxton]

Gentlemen shall we get back to the purpose of good human conviviality which for the main is what this BB all about without the regressive need to denigrate anybody's input.
We are all here for the betterment of each other and enjoyment of each others input without creating negativity or ill feeling.
Life is too short so enjoy,be positive.
Cheers http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
Johnno

[Don K]

Iain

As promised, Knuckles is less one more digit since last night. Dis was a very hard ting for me to do....................... He is running out if fingers to lop off.

After last night he has but one left on each hand. Lucky it is the middle one. He now lives up to his name Knuckles in every way. Pity coz I used to like it better before when he went by the name fingers. But that was 8 disciplinings ago.

I hope yous is placated by dis digit lopping. Knuckles has atoned for his misbehaviour and will not call Ian a wanker again (in any language).

Respectfully yours
The Don http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/cool.gif

http://www.ubeaut.com.au/f.jpg
----------------------------------
Sanctioned by Neil & .
This graphic was e-mailed to me and scrutinized by myself and before being put into Woodworking Australia's storage area so Don could bring it into this post. - Neil

[This message has been edited by ubeaut (edited 20 October 2000).]

[knuckles]

Iain

I humbly beseech yous to forgive me for callin yous a wanker. I will never call yous a wanker again. Gross my heart and hope to die, if I'm tellin yous a lie. (Poetry, just can't get enough of it)

Yous cost me my trigger finger last night. Hundreds of people have tried to stop my spree as a shooter for years and yous was the one that done it.

I salute yous with both my good fingers raised high to the sky. Thanks to yous I will now have to take a less active roll as a wanker wacker. But I am not sad as I shall now devote my life to my poetry.

Thanks Iain you testa di cozzo. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/mad.gif

[Don K]

KNUCKLES!!!!! http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/mad.gif

[knuckles]

But boss. I called him a dick head, not a wanker. http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/biggrin.gif

Jeeeezz! I think I'll change my name to mumbles...................
mumblemumbledickhheadmumblewankermumbleI'llmurderthbummumble http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/frown.gif

[This message has been edited by knuckles (edited 19 October 2000).]

[ubeaut]

You really are a pair of sick puppies.

[Gino]

After all that I can say that I've learnt a couple of things.

1)There are some wankers amongest us.(myself included)
2)I'm not the only wog on this bulletin board, though you all could do with some lessons in Italian and Greek.

see you all at the WWW show.

regards

Gino