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mic-d
21st January 2024, 02:43 PM
Arthur and Clive, two wizened old grey members of the Wood Work Forums were in Arthur's front yard looking up at his flag pole and scratching their heads with looks of slight confusion on their faces. At the same time a blonde was walking along the footpath and noticed that one man began talking stridently to the other while pointing at the flag pole and then making a series of hand gestures while the other man was just shaking his head. She approached the men and in her usual bubbly way asked 'watcha doin' fellas?' Both men, having only just noticed the blonde stood up straight and smiled. Clive even whipped his engineers cap off and wrung it nervously in his hands. 'Well' Arthur said, 'this is my flag pole and it needs a new rope and we...' Clive nervously butted in saying we're proud Orstralians and Orstalian Day is coming up. Arthur jabbed Clive with his elbow and continued. 'And we don't have a ladder long enough to help us measure the height of the pole so I can mail order the right yardage of rope. Clive butted in again admitting, 'We asked our mates on the Wood Work Forums but it quickly descended into an argument about trigonometry versus taping the end of a tape measure to a long stick and the best way to anchor the ladder for safety, so we don't know what to do'. Arthur again jabbed Clive in the ribs with his elbow stating 'we were just going over the best option'. The blonde sized up the situation and asked 'do you mind if I have a look at it fellas?' Which caused Arthur to stiffen and Clive wring his engineers cap even harder and step a little away from Arthur. Arthur, certain the blonde was about to embarrass herself smiled and allowed her to proceed. The blonde rummaged through their bucket of tools and removed a shifting spanner and a tape measure and proceeded to unlock the pivot of the pole with the shifting spanner and then carefully laid the pole down on the ground. She asked Arthur, who winked knowingly at Clive, to hold the tape measure on the top of the pole as she brought it along the pole to the base and proclaimed the pole to be 7.5 metres long. Clive looked blankly and began to say they only understood feet and inches, when a dark look from Arthur cut him short. Arthur thanked the girl for her help and let her go on her way, turning to Clive and saying, 'typical blonde! We needed the height and she's measured the bloody length!'

rwbuild
21st January 2024, 04:48 PM
Time to bring out the groan button again.................

mic-d
21st January 2024, 09:32 PM
Time to bring out the groan button again.................


Didn't like a joke that subverts the patriarchy?:q:D

rwbuild
21st January 2024, 11:53 PM
It may have been funny if the bastardised attempt to transpose from an obviously American joke and trying to make it an Australian one makes me cringe :D

mic-d
22nd January 2024, 07:20 AM
It may have been funny if the bastardised attempt to transpose from an obviously American joke and trying to make it an Australian one makes me cringe :D
Well if it made you cringe then I guess you are saying it's funny:q

At the risk of creating a thread that will be dripping with irony...:D
What part makes you think it's American?

The joke I heard years ago: A blonde walks past two (insert nationality here)workmen looking confusedly at a flag pole. She asks what are you doing fellas? To which one replies, we've been asked to measure the height of this flagpole but we don't have a ladder. The blonde asks if she can help and proceeds to remove a spanner and tape measure from her purse, undoes the flagpole, lays it down and says it's 6 metre long, packs up and says her goodbyes. One (insert nationality here) workman turns to the other and says well if that's not a typical blonde, we need the height and she's given us the length!

I liked the joke originally because the blonde was a smart empowered woman, which turned the blonde joke on its head. I chose to leave out the nationality of the workmen because its racist. It's a joke with indeterminate origins which easily adapts to different cultures, much like Spike Milligan's hunting accident joke which is often claimed to be the best joke ever. Instead I took the p!@@ out of our little group of PSMs. It was me who added the engineers cap, me who added the yardage of rope, me who added the feet and inches and the national flag and national day and all the other embellishments about descents into arguments. Apparently i'm psychic if not a comedian. I never said I did a good job though:D

Dareen
22nd January 2024, 09:11 AM
I enjoyed it mic-d. Thank you.

I am amazed at how many 'grumpy critics' there are on this forum.

Have a happy day
Cheers,
Fred

Chesand
22nd January 2024, 09:59 AM
When I told it to my daughters (neither of them blonde) they were pleased that the joke was on the men and not the girl which is usually the case.

Boringgeoff
22nd January 2024, 10:03 AM
The first time I heard that joke they were Irishmen. Regardless of whether it is pee your pants funny or not, I appreciate those who post jokes here and detest the groaners.
Cheers,
Geoff.