View Full Version : air force 1
ryanarcher
5th January 2006, 05:36 AM
George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.
The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody
very happy."
The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Not to be out done, the Secretary of Defense says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $10.00 bills out the window and make a hundred
people very happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such big shots back there... hell, I could throw all of them out the window and make 256 million people happy."
AlexS
5th January 2006, 03:48 PM
That would be funny if it wasn't so true!:D
Wongo
5th January 2006, 03:51 PM
Dude I have just forwarded this post to the FBI. Watch out!:D
rrich
5th January 2006, 05:20 PM
256 Million people plus one!
ozwinner
5th January 2006, 07:13 PM
Many years ago I rang someone in England from Australia.
The phone was answered with an very official, "Air Force One"
I said sorry, wrong number.
At the time I didnt have a clue what it ment.
So I redialed the number, same reply "Air Force One"
Owww same dude, sorry said I.
I rang it 4 times and got the same response..
I still know the number off by heart, but havent had the need to ring it again, nor am I....
Al :eek: :eek: :eek:
Auld Bassoon
5th January 2006, 08:06 PM
Many years ago I rang someone in England from Australia.
The phone was answered with an very official, "Air Force One"
I said sorry, wrong number.
At the time I didnt have a clue what it ment.
So I redialed the number, same reply "Air Force One"
Owww same dude, sorry said I.
I rang it 4 times and got the same response..
I still know the number off by heart, but havent had the need to ring it again, nor am I....
Al :eek: :eek: :eek:
What's the betting that they have your number, though:eek:
ozwinner
5th January 2006, 08:16 PM
I dont live in that house anymore.:D
When I found out what Air Force One ment, I went paranoid for a while.....
Al :D
Auld Bassoon
5th January 2006, 08:18 PM
I dont live in that house anymore.:D
When I found out what Air Force One ment, I went paranoid for a while.....
Al :D
And you don't suppose that the telco's don't maintain a transfer from-to list, regardless of service provider? I know that Telstra does...:p
May the Force be with you :D
ozwinner
5th January 2006, 08:19 PM
And you don't suppose that the telco's don't maintain a transfer from-to list, regardless of service provider? I know that Telstra does...:p
May the Force be with you :D
Bastard!!
Al :rolleyes:
Auld Bassoon
5th January 2006, 08:30 PM
Bastard!!
Al :rolleyes:
Sorry mate - but them's the facts:p
Driver
5th January 2006, 09:43 PM
Don't fret, Al. The overall foily suit and liberal applications of MFKL will prevent them from getting to you.
Just make sure that you never, ever, go outdoors without them. And if your garage door starts opening and closing all by itself .......MOVE!!!!! :eek:
Baz
6th January 2006, 07:57 PM
Hey Al, you know those funny noises you hear on your phone, wellllllllllll!
Cheers
Barry
rick_rine
6th January 2006, 09:56 PM
Is it just me or have other forum members got e-mails and phone calls from the F.B.I. asking what we knew about a certain Al ?:confused:
journeyman Mick
7th January 2006, 12:06 AM
Chuck,
as per mission briefing I traced and identified the "wrong number" caller who compromised the communications security on Air Force One on several occasions. He has changed his address several times, no doubt to throw us off his trail. I've not been able to successfully bug his residence as it has extensive RF sheilding in the form of Aluminum Foil. He also wears headgear that is foil shielded so unfortunately the mind scanning devices we traded Elvis to the Aliens for are of no use.
He uses two seperate covers/identities. One is as a bricklayer, the other as a secondhand store owner. There's not much bricklaying done, he mostly drives around in an armoured light truck (very fast, managed to give me the slip a few times) and as far as I can tell "collects" materials to sell in his store. I've got infra-red surveillance footage showing him removing hundreds of railway sleepers and fence posts under cover of darkness. This has caused untold damage as well as providng finance for his terror cell. The shop is obviously a front as well, I've visited (undercover) on several occasions and there's no real stock in the shop.
He has operatives leave messages out by his dumpster via an extremely clever variation on the "dead letter drop". Operatives pretend to defecate in his backyard but actually leave a message cannister inside a plastic "doggy doo". He observes via CCTV and pretends to chase the operative away whilst swearing profusely. The swearing is actually an extremely complex code which our cypher department is yet to crack.
Worst of all he has recruited a network of terrorrists via the internet. This group is mainly comprised of Australian middle aged men, although in recent times this network has also attracted both women and men, mostly Australians but with an ever growing number of members drawn from all over the globe. Messages are cleverly coded to appear to be innocuous woodworking related exchanges but their anti-Americanism cannot always be disguised.
We have strike teams poised and ready to terminate with extreme prejudice the most active members at a moments notice. I urge you to get the presidents approval to execute this operation. We've had one of our top agents compromised already. These people have some very sophisticated scanning technology at their disposal as they rebuffed all of X's friendly advances even though he told them his wife was a native. They have many planes at their disposal which are fully armed and ready for immediate deployment against US targets (code words "fettled" and "sharpened") we even believe some of these planes have nucleaur capability (code word "scary sharp"). We must move now! I have two Snipers with night vision scopes trained on this "Al" person right now, give me the executive order and I'll have him removed.
Agent XC3355769
Studley 2436
7th January 2006, 12:56 AM
I got my LV LA Plane from Robin in Canada!!! As our munitions supplier you can bet we will do everything in our power to protect his identity
Studley
ozwinner
7th January 2006, 07:24 AM
Mick.
You have way too much time on your hands..............or do you??
Al :D
DanP
7th January 2006, 08:58 AM
has also attracted... women
I dispute this bit, I mean, have you seen him?:p
Messages are cleverly coded to appear to be innocuous woodworking related
When did he mention woodwork? I think he said something about a woody once, but I don't think he meant timber...:eek:
Dan:D
scooter
7th January 2006, 11:19 PM
Mick.................. :D:D:D:D
Saw him with some Titans once, aren't they a nuclear weapon :eek:
Cheers.................Sean
AlexS
7th January 2006, 11:24 PM
No, you're thinking of Tritons, they're an unclear weapon.:D
vsquizz
8th January 2006, 01:06 AM
From: NSA Ft MEADE STCS 0105078z DTG ZULU<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
To: AUST EMBASSY OPS 3 FYIO<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Agent XC3355769.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Do not, R Do not terminate subject. Advice from Langley subject is head of political organisation known as “The Tupperware Party”. This organisation is believed a front for various socio political and urban terrorist’s cells. Political backlash is feared. Continue surveillance and ensure agents do not get caught urinating in carpark of subjects HQ. Be aware, subject is observed to have a piece of torture equipment similar to a medieval rack cleverly disguised as a sanding machine.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Chuck<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
P.S Stop it with the Telstra Mobilenet Jokes will ya<o:p></o:p>