Getting a life.

[Sturdee]

For the last couple of days there have been a few threads on the prevalance of swearing and bending the rules. Many words have been said, many opinions have been expressed, including mine, in the hope that some of the members would grow up and decide that this board is too good a thing to ruin by their intemperate language and minority bashing.

While this was going on I did not read the thread on " American Woodworkers" as I thought it was about the style of furniture our American cousins were making. A big mistake on my part as apparently it degenerated in personal attacks rather than stay on woodworking issues.

Today I noticed it and despite the posts on behaviour Lignum made this post 2 hours ago


Get a life....


which IMO insulted my good friend Ryan. Another personal attack on a member and if , as Biting Midge said, Ryan responds no doubt another series of Seppo bashing.

IMO the board is no longer that which it was when I joined. Sure there was friendly rivalry, the odd biffs, but we generally respected each other. This I feel is no longer the case. The newer members are bringing a new feel to the board, which may be a good thing, but it definitely is not my cup of tea.

In addition some of my interests have changed and I don't have as much spare time available for reading the board for the time being, so reluctantly I will be taking some leave and not logging on as regularly as before.

Whilst I'm pursuing my other interests in life I hope that the members will take this time to think of what kind of forums they want and I hope that it reverts to the one I used to enjoy.

Peter.

[Ivan in Oz]

On Ya, Peter!
Good one.
Though I regard myself as a Newbie:(

[bitingmidge]

Peter,

Sorry you won't be round, 'specially since I know it's GARDENING :eek: that's keeping you away, but I know you'll be back.

Mick, Craig, Silent and others have said it on other posts so I won't reiterate, but it is up to the "seniors" to keep the junior school in tow if the character of the place is to remain.

We've mostly backed off for a time I think, being polite, nodding in a disapproving way.... well I've stopped!!

You and I have proudly bashed (sometimes mercilessly) the odd seppo. (I know, most of 'em are odd) Arrrr see what I mean?? But there is a very real difference which some have yet to learn, between
"maybe it's time you got a life :D :D :D "

and " :( get a life!"

Anyways: enjoy the other part of your life, but don't forget to drop in!~

cheers,

P (off to find a dutchman to bash now.....)
:D :D :D

[Wood Butcher]

I was hoping to save my 500th post for something special :(, but this to me, is more important. Firstly Sturdee, I hope that you will keep gracing us with your expertise here. Some of the jigs you have made a fantastic and I have learnt a lot from you!
I agree that this place is so different from when I joined 13 months ago. All of the posts used to about woodworking or a few good jokes. Now the forums have denigrated to personal mudslinging matches. If you don't like what someone says, have the decency to respect that they are allowed to have there own opinion and do not deserve to have someone else abusing them because of what they think.
A prime example is the thread about American woodworking styles. I think that one member remarked "shaker, quaker crap". Fair enough that you do not like it but that sort of commentary is deplorable.
Is it too much to ask, that people remember to treat others with respect??

Lastly, After reading some of the posts lately, I know that if I was a guest browsing through these forums, I would be deeply offended and disgusted by the tone and pompous BS posted here lately.

For those of you that haven't read this post (http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/showpost.php?p=232637&postcount=41) by Journeyman Mick, please take the time now to read it and for those of you that have read it again. It does sum up the entire existance of these forums!!!

[craigb]

Well Peter, it's your call but I hope you continue to look in from time to time. :)

Good luck with your new pursuits too. :)

Cheers
Craig

[Daddles]

I've also noted a change in feel. Particularly these complaints about moderation.

We are blessed with the best moderator I've had the pleasure to be 'swished' by. And people are complaining? :eek: This never was and never should be somewhere to post whatever you want in whatever form you wish. This is a society that includes many different views and personalities. Sometimes, people through stress, alcohol, tiredness or sheer bloody mindedness stuff up - and it is THESE posts that the moderators should have to spend their time on, NOT swearing and some of the other behaviours that are so easily controlled by the poster.

After some of the posts lately, I'm be amazed if isn't considering 'getting a life'. Personally, I'd like to ask him to stay here and sweat out the #### for a bit.

When people like Peter start deciding to move on, the rot has gone too far - it can still be reversed but it needs all of us start obeying the rules and to think about the other members of the forum.

Richard

I'd really like to know what I put in that had to be hashed out - I wrote this post, sent it and dashed out the door so didn't notice the change till now, four hours later, and have no idea what I let slip ... which is really embarrassing when you consider the context of the discussion. May I just say 'OOPS'? Please?

[Studley 2436]

Peter I hope you manage to keep around here. I for one have appreciated your posts and also seeing your jigs. You were generous enough to send me your drawings for your tenoning jig before I even asked.

As you say I think that the board should be largely about wood woodworking and personal slanging shouldn't be allowed or tollerated. In particular taking a backhand at someone just because they have a different opinion to ones self is the very worst and most immature behaviour. There is a lot of that on other boards and lists and one of the reasons this is such a good board is that we manage by and large to avoid childish squeeling.

I'll stick around and fight the good fight. Well at least I'll keep in touch here about timber and woodworking. Who on earth was it that moaned about Quaker furniture? Isn't that just another style that we can all look at and copy develope or ignore? I don't think that writer understands wood or furniture making much.

As to jigs I am working on a finger jointing jig this weekend. I am using a metal thread so it can have an adjustable stop. That way I can use it for different size fingers.


Stephen

[Rusty]

Look, I breeze in and out and say some dumb-assed things. But these forums have been the next best thing to an apprenticeship for me. Fact is, a good thing attracts all types, but the positive spirit of the board is maintained by it's leading lights. Don't stay away too long, Peter.

Regards,
Rusty.

[NewLou]

Gidday:)

Before I start I'd like to say this as mine to own!!! It is not a bait for retort or designed to ignite a furore of infantile combackance!!!!! It is simply designed as a statement to reflect upon and hopefully make some kind of decision about how to conduct yourself in ForumLand!!!!!

I have learn't this from a number of senior forum members who like to think they can bully in the playpen..................

Step 1 Don't personalise it........or take it on!
Try to consider all posts as reasonable and let the moderators do their job. Theres a few forum members that love to go fishing for a reaction! Don't take the bait then they can't play!!!!

Step 2 Put principles before personalities !
Dispite what some think were all teachers & someones bound to get something from a well thought out balanced post! Be curtious, respectful and mindful of the diversity of spectators and forum participants alike!!!!

Step 3 Don't play tennis !
As soon as we get into a he said she said intellectual spar the thread tends to degenerate rapidly................Its simple don't get on the court n play!!!!

Step 4 Go to open slather if ya wanna swear vent or post your own agenda!
Lets unite and be dilergent about following principles (U-Beauts House Rules) in the general areas of the forum.

Step 5 Let people own their own stuff.........Don't fight other people battles for them!!! this just creates a them & us mentality!
Don't join in on gang ups against other members etc etc this just ain't necessary and creates resentment, disdain and factions within the community.

You know what camp your in and I know mine. My choice is to follow the rules of the Forum and be a part of the solution not the problem...............If enough of us do this the forum can only become a better place.!!!!!!

Regards Lou:(:(:(

[Schtoo]

May I?

From where I sit, and what I have experienced in my short life, this is one of the better places to hang out on this world wide web. Take note of the 'world' part. That means that anyone from anywhere on the planet can check this place out and see what's going on, what people think, etc, etc.

At the same time, it means that ANYONE can come and check out the same things.

Problem being, some people (no names) can't quite understand what that means.

Due to what I have experienced, I will also listen/read someone else's opinion, and I will always respect that. Not everyone knows what I do, I don't know what anyone else might know. I might be willing to change my opinion, I might be able to change yours. If not, fine.

But, and it's a really big but, there is a way to say what you think.

If you choose a respectful, decent and reasonable way to present your opinion, then any sensible human being has little choice but to respect it as it is presented.

If you resort to foul language, masked foul language, personal insults, generalizations, bandwagon riding, gratuitous back slapping or any other kind of denegration, then I've also got to take that at face value.

I'll still listen to what you say, but it won't stop me thinking that you are a (insert derogative term here).

I'm not asking anyone to think the way I do about things, as opposed to what I think, but it sure as heck keeps me out of trouble most of the time.

I just wish I was more of a wordsmith. I can't get my ideas across as well as some people here, like Peter.

Anyways, don't go too far away sir. I always stop and have a read, regardless of what you have written. I know it's not going to be a diatribe of junk, it's going to be to the point, and it's going to be easy to understand.


Now, what's the chance of finding someone(s) to help out on here? I know if I were in his shoes, the axe would be worn out by now.

[savage]

Peter, being a newbie here, and looking for the expertise of the more skilled/gifted of this forum, so far it has been a delightful ride:) . The knowledge, mateship and freely given help is, I am sure, appreiciated by the young, old, male, female etc who look in here, me, well, I love the place and would not be offended in the slightest if I was pulled into line by a senior member and/or moderator, even at my age (I should know better anyway) get a bit stirred by issues and stuff:o . If you decide to give us a miss, it is our loss:( and sadly if we loose too many senior members you may be responsible for many amatures gluing and nailing themselves to whatever it is we are trying to make:o :confused: :o , so on your next trip to the emergency room you see a poor dopey bugger with a 4x2 nailed to the door of his car, forlornly sitting there:( , I hope you stop and think "Gee, if only he would have asked someone!":rolleyes: , It will probably be me!:eek: :eek: :p
Don't dissapear!:)
savage(Eric):)

[Sturdee]

Thank you all for your comments and if heeded I’m sure the board will indeed become again the friendly place to hang out and have fun and learn a bit and get and give advice.

As Peter reminded me I’ve been guilty of some Seppo bashings, but the one with Seppo Joe was justified :p , and a few other fights but with the benefit of hindsight I regret those occasions. If in the heat of the moment I’ve offended someone I’ve always unreservedly apologised when taken to task. :o Something that nowadays seldom happens.

Yes, peter I’ve got to do gardening, finish of those outside tasks that no one likes, but today I did some fine woodworking :D . I was removing the overhead BBQ canopy and inserting 2 new beams to hold up the BBQ roofing. Instead of dovetails I used 6” bolts and instead of a hammer I used a sledgehammer to get them in place. A bit like removing stumps but higher in the air.

To clarify, the other interest that is taking up a major part of my time, is the renewed interest that my wife and I have in ballroom dancing. We both used to dance in our younger days but gave it up when we got kids. One night about 6 month ago we decided to go dancing again and the dancing scene has changed so much that we have had to relearn many dances and new routines etc. Thus we started learning and dancing so that now we are often out 4 nights a week.

Also with the board tone and attitude having changed so much I would rather dance a sexy rumba or a fast quickstep or a lively tango or a slow waltz with my lovely wife in a pleasant place where the new friends I’ve made don’t swear, rather than stay home and wade through a series of posts that lately haven’t been worth opening.

I have been wondering why there are so many old familiar people no longer posting and only lurking occasionally. Maybe it is because of the same reason, so rather than quietly slink away I made my views public in the hope of improving the board.

Lately I’ve often had to read the posts late at night but today’s post about getting a life has forced me to put things in perspective.

I’ve made many friends here and I’m not leaving, however I’ve less and less time for being on the board as often as I’ve been.

BTW I’ve just worked out that I have 5 free nights between now and Christmas Eve and those night are becoming very precious.


Peter.

[Groggy]

Peter, have a great Christmas.

The tirades are not worth getting involved in. Lets face it, what it boils down to is a bunch of guys throwing pixels at each other, and, if that bothers people and they think they have to defend themselves, then it's time for a giggle at yourself and move on to the next thread.

Today I have had the pleasure of meeting some of these guys, and I met a few more at the Hawthorne Old Tool meet and still more at the WW show. Each of them has been polite to a fault, and no-one insisted on their right to 'free speech' around my wife and children. So, when I see an off colour post, I try to think "someone's having a bad day" and move on. For the most part it works.

But you are right, each of us needs to 'get a life' other than this virtual existence, especially if it starts to pale for you. Take a sabbatical and draw strength from family, friends or a new environment or hobby, we wish you well after all you have given us. However, ya'll come back now, y'hear?

(with apologies to Jed Clampett)

PS Just for those who are confused, Australia does not have a Bill of Rights. We do not have a 'right' to free speech (as such).

[echnidna]

Enjoy the ballroom Peter.
Have a good Chrismas.

[Termite]

Well Sturdee, live life to the full mate, at our age we have to. :D
Appologies do still happen, ask Daddles.:o
As a parting gesture I've changed the writing under Termite above my avatar.

The best of luck to you and your wife, but please don't give us up totally, you are appreciated.
sincerely
Bill. aka Termite

[Lignum]

Lately I’ve often had to read the posts late at night but today’s post about getting a life has forced me to put things in perspective.


Peter.

So now im being deagraded because someone had a go at me In what was realy a trivial issue and i responded? and you are offended at the term "get a life" Why if you were so outraged didnt you PM me instead of starting a thread about me? if the newer members are bringing a new feel to the board and the "Seniors" dont like it maybe i should go get a life and leave this forum:mad:

[Termite]

So now im being deagraded because someone had a go at me In what was realy a trivial issue and i responded? and you are offended at the term "get a life" Why if you were so outraged didnt you PM me instead of starting a thread about me? if the newer members are bringing a new feel to the board and the "Seniors" dont like it maybe i should go get a life and leave this forum:mad:

:rolleyes:

[JDarvall]

Oh, I don't know......it sounds like one of those 'fine line' things again.

It can be hard saying the 'right' thing all the time. Personally, I get so bottled up, worried about offending people, I spend a lot of time ensuring I say 'IMO' and 'I reakon' a lot,,,,so I don't sound too bigotted ...........and also replacing 'you's with 'ones' so I don't sound like I'm being personal when I'm trying to describe a negitive point. ...you know, one can't be too careful with ones words when one is talking to ones fellow member, IMO, anyway.....but if I don't stick them in, I fear that somebody might think I'm a know-it-all wally. :eek: Heavon forbid....but then the worry gets so much, I find myself thinking ' bugger it, I don't care anymore, if they get offended, then thats there problem ! ' :eek: ....So, thats the point where one might say 'get a life !'

But what does 'get a life' mean anyway. I mean, even if I had a life that needed changing, how the hell would I go about doing that ? :confused:

I do respect a man for sticking up for his mate. But, you don't want to scare Lignum away. He's clever chappy. I like his work. If I was in charge of this show, I'd want more like him, who find the effort to post pictures of his work in this forum.

(shrug) :)

[Daddles]

Appologies do still happen, ask Daddles.:o


Yup http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a306/kosams/Webfishingclub/thumbsup.gif

Richard

[JDarvall]

So now im being deagraded because someone had a go at me In what was realy a trivial issue and i responded? and you are offended at the term "get a life" Why if you were so outraged didnt you PM me instead of starting a thread about me? if the newer members are bringing a new feel to the board and the "Seniors" dont like it maybe i should go get a life and leave this forum:mad:

:D :D Don't go mate.

Ya got a point though. I don't think I'd ever get so offended about being told to 'get a life'. Anyway did Ryan get offended ?

When I first came here a similar situation happened to me. I made a passing trivial joke, that was taken the wrong way, and suddenly all these blokes started coming down on me hard as well, with tut tut words......' I was thinking,,,what I do !? ...what I do ?! :D

At the time I was thinking....What a bunch of tight-#### wallys. Pictures of extremely well dressed, aristrocratic snobs came to mind. Bow ties, monicals, pocket watches,,,correcting everyone on their poor grammer. You know, like the monopoly guy. But I was wrong...:D How could you be dressed like that and push a plane ?

oh, I better bite my tongue :D Where's Ozwinner. About time he says something to lighten things up.

[ozwinner]

Well, ermhh arrhhhh.

Kumbahh.......................

Al :o

[Andy Mac]

Hi there,
Being a newbie I don't really know the tone of this wonderful forum before I came along, but I think this is a seriously good on-line community as is:D I sincerely hope not too many more of the old guard drop by the wayside, as people like Sturdee have a lot to offer us. And I hope all this flak about freedom of expression (swearing) doesn't get too much for our moderators, and they give up in disgust:eek:
To put it simply, I guess we all need to adopt a more tolerant and considered tone, to ensure we can hang on to this wonderful Forum. If not we'll all have to go and get a life!!


Cheers,

[Grunt]

See, I disappear for 10 days and the whole board disintegrates. :D

Peter, what Al said.

[Schtoo]

Grunt, didn't you ask for nothing interesting while you were away?

Uhh... Sorry. :D

[ryanarcher]

that makes me sad peter. You were truly one of the great ones of this forum. I hope you do well, and have a great time with your dancing and gardening (you'll probably bump your head less :D) keep in touch, and PM your address - i've got something for ya :)
-Ryan

[echnidna]

See, I disappear for 10 days and the whole board disintegrates. :D

Peter, what Al said.

Did it take that long to pedal home?:D
Or did you end up throwin the treadly on a tram ter git home:rolleyes:

[ozwinner]

See, I disappear for 10 days and the whole board disintegrates. :D

Peter, what Al said.

So thats why I didnt see you in the 10,000 faces at the Whittlesea Show grounds.

Al :p :D

[Grunt]

Decided that the last 39Ks into Heidelberg wasn't worth it. Sleep in a warm dry bed tonight. There was only 4500 people on the ride. The rest of you are lazy gits.

[ozwinner]

Gees grunt..
The time it took you to get home, have a shower, post here.?
Youve been away from home for a week.............
There is 60 minutes missing.........................is Margo OK? :p :p :p :p

Al :D :D :D

[Grunt]

Margo is fine.

I've got a bit of butt soreness which is odd because that usually Zed's problem.

[Auld Bassoon]

Peter,

I fully support, and agree with, what you are saying.

Please, everyone, let's keep this reasonably civilised and WW focussed.

Cheers!

[craigb]

Please, everyone, let's keep this reasonably civilised and WW focussed.

Cheers!

Unless you are in the Nothing to do with Woodwork forum :p :D

[Bodgy]

Peter

When I grow up I wanna have a workshop just like yours.

[Ashore]

Peter
I for one will miss your open handed posts
The legacy you leave, if you do leave is a vast one , as many a new member of this forum will discover by doing a search on any one of so many topics
I know you have become disenhanched with not only some of the topics , language and the personal attacks. Having been at the brunt of this I to put things in perspective.I dont post as much and don't even bother reading some posts. The forum is still there and is a better place with you adding to it. This isn't a general be nice to sturdee thing , if there was a poll on how many people have used either a design of yours or modified one to how many haven't it would only show up the lurkers who don't do any woodwork. (adapted the mini cyclone myself )
Enjoy the dancing and christmas , looking forward to your posts in the new year when things settle again



Rgds


Ashore

[MathewA]

So now im being deagraded because someone had a go at me In what was realy a trivial issue and i responded? and you are offended at the term "get a life" Why if you were so outraged didnt you PM me instead of starting a thread about me? if the newer members are bringing a new feel to the board and the "Seniors" dont like it maybe i should go get a life and leave this forum:mad:


Bu bye:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[dazzler]

Hi all,

I hope you dont go sturdee, pls stick around. I agree with what you are saying that the feel of the boards has changed. I think that is a result of the open slather feeding across into other boards.

open slather has its place. I think that many post into "nothing to do with wooodwork" stuff that is a little controversial and rapidly gets debated like at the pub.

My 2c is that the nothing to do forum is not for debate, leave that for open forum.

The other one, and this is a generalisation so bear with me here, is my experience dealing with lots and lots of the public in my profession, is that there is a huge difference between what the current "baby boomer" generation (I really hate that saying:mad: ) consider rude behaviour and the next lot.

My father for instance belongs to this demographic and will refuse to watch a TV program if he has heard swearing in it. Any chance of nudity and he will turn it over. His friends seem to be similar.

I remember that one of these friends said something inappropriate, by accident it seemed, and he was slowly austrisized :confused: from the group. A younger group would probably have had thier say and moved on.

My exp is also that a lot of boomers tend to walk away from a person/situation if it doesnt meet with thier level of behaviour where as the next lot seem to be a little more tolerant and accepting. (though they would be rather vocal and perhaps a tad vulgar in voicing it)

Please dont anyone take it that I am having a go at anyone. This is my experience, I own it and it is not meant to be offensive.:). Just as I struggle to understand the "doof doof" jap cars doing laps of my street:rolleyes: I think it is hard for the other groups at times.

So i do agree with what you say, I hope the slathering goes to the open forum, more talk of woodworking and we can each give a little and meet somewhere in the middle.

stick around:)


dazzler

[ryanarcher]

Lignum wrote:


Why if you were so outraged didnt you PM me instead of starting a thread about me?


so I sent him a PM saying:

you asked for a PM instead of a public post, so here it is. I didn't get offended at what you said, but i can understand why it affected sturdee so.

Sturdee's thread was a great opportunity to admit mistakes and begin contributing to the solidarity of the forums again, but you chose to attack again. he has contributed more here than you and I probably ever will put together.

I don't want you to leave, you have too much knowledge to contribute. But I would like you to publicly apologise to sturdee and ask him to stay.

-Ryan

Lignum replied:

I didnt ask you to PM me, if you want me to publicly apologise to him for saying "get a life" to someone else, say it publicly. What a joke.:mad: :mad:

so here it is publicly: please do the right thing by sturdee.

Sturdee, I was standing up for a friend (Ross) and some ideals. I apologise if I detracted from the feel and solidarity of the forum. Your ideas are truly invalueable and I hope you change your mind and stay. :)

Besides, I keep looking for a life but right now i'm in between lives. :rolleyes: that's why I hang out at the woodwork forums.:D :D

Lignum,
no hard feelings at all about the "get a life stuff". :) but I get a little touchy when i feel my mates are takin'a beating;) .

-:) ryan

[Lignum]

Lignum,
no hard feelings at all about the "get a life stuff". :) but I get a little touchy when i feel my mates are takin'a beating;) .

-:) ryan

I should follow Lous advice and just let it go to the keeper. It is such a minor matter. BUT you have just Re-Posted publicly a Private Message. That as far as im concerned is far worse than any tit for tat or silly name calling. I could go on, but the trivial nature of this rubish is not worth it. As far as im concerned this is the last time i can be bothered commenting on it.

[outback]

I should follow Lous advice and just let it go to the keeper. It is such a minor matter. BUT you have just Re-Posted publicly a Private Message. That as far as im concerned is far worse than any tit for tat or silly name calling. I could go on, but the trivial nature of this rubish is not worth it. As far as im concerned this is the last time i can be bothered commenting on it.






HOOFRIGGGINGRAY

[Auld Bassoon]

So now im being deagraded because someone had a go at me In what was realy a trivial issue and i responded? and you are offended at the term "get a life" Why if you were so outraged didnt you PM me instead of starting a thread about me? if the newer members are bringing a new feel to the board and the "Seniors" dont like it maybe i should go get a life and leave this forum:mad:

G'day Lignum,

I hope that you don't decide to leave after what is really only a spat.

IMO you have much to offer this forum, and I for one would appreciate your staying:)

However, I do agree with Ryan, and think that you have gone too far. Please just say sorry to Peter (Sturdee), and you will be seen in a rather different light. Do not, and you may not be very welcomed here again.

Cheers!

[Auld Bassoon]

The newer members are bringing a new feel to the board, which may be a good thing, but it definitely is not my cup of tea.

In addition some of my interests have changed and I don't have as much spare time available for reading the board for the time being, so reluctantly I will be taking some leave and not logging on as regularly as before.

Whilst I'm pursuing my other interests in life I hope that the members will take this time to think of what kind of forums they want and I hope that it reverts to the one I used to enjoy.

Peter.

Hello Peter!

I am very sorry to hear that. You have made a wonderful contribution to this forum, and I would much prefer that you stay.

Perhaps a little cool-down, and then the temptation to see what's going on will encourage you to come back:) I hope so!

Cheers mate!

PS: Maybe you could conjure-up a behaviour jig (and I don't necessarily mean the "Iron Maiden":eek: :D

[Clinton1]

can we leave the muddy boots outside please? its starting to look untidy in here and it is putting me off.

how about we read the rules, respect the fantastic thing the Ubeaut team is doing for us all, and get a little bit of respect for the community that is on the forum?

I used the word "community" - thats what this place seemed to be.
For example:
Doug is taking trips around the Sunshine state with another forum member, visiting forum members on the way;
Termite is asking for tips on retirement from the retired members;
Shannon is asking for tips on explaining a pets passing away to children;
Waldo and Kylie are taking a very rough road and we are throwing our support their way;
Some fellas in Japan are giving us tips and great stories of what it is like over there;
E. malacuta shared the passing of his Bessiebear, and made Caliban (and I) teary;
Savage shared some pretty personal stuff with us and made a lot of us cry;
A lot of the members have met and are now mates.

And on and on and on... the forum reaches into peoples life and makes us part of a community.

Or we swear and throw uppercuts at each other. That's part of a community as well... how about we just do it a bit of gentleness?

Yours,
(someone who has gained far more than he has contributed)

[craigb]

can we leave the muddy boots outside please? its starting to look untidy in here and it is putting me off.

how about we read the rules, respect the fantastic thing the Ubeaut team is doing for us all, and get a little bit of respect for the community that is on the forum?

I used the word "community" - thats what this place seemed to be.
For example:
Doug is taking trips around the Sunshine state with another forum member, visiting forum members on the way;
Termite is asking for tips on retirement from the retired members;
Shannon is asking for tips on explaining a pets passing away to children;
Waldo and Kylie are taking a very rough road and we are throwing our support their way;
Some fellas in Japan are giving us tips and great stories of what it is like over there;
E. malacuta shared the passing of his Bessiebear, and made Caliban (and I) teary;
Savage shared some pretty personal stuff with us and made a lot of us cry;
A lot of the members have met and are now mates.

And on and on and on... the forum reaches into peoples life and makes us part of a community.

Or we swear and throw uppercuts at each other. That's part of a community as well... how about we just do it a bit of gentleness?

Yours,
(someone who has gained far more than he has contributed)

I dunno mate, I agree with a lot of what you are saying, but when did this place become so touchy feely?

Zed would say: "You're all a bunch of purse carrying Nancys" and maybe he'd be right.

Lignum had his say, and to tell the truth I didn't particlulary care for his 'tude either, but the hand holding and backscratching that has been going on around here over the last few days is starting to become a bit nauseating in itself.

Lets get over it and take on board what my mate silentC says:

"It's all part of the rich tapestry"

Peace

Craig

[DanP]

BRING BACK THE BIFF

You two give each other a cyber hand shake, but I'm with Craig. With so many people stating their opinions and a few hot topics coming up now and again means that some will disagree. So be it. Have your say then move on. Keep the personal shyte to yourself but lets not get too soft.

Dan

PS Where's Kenmil when you need him...:rolleyes:

[Wongo]

Craig and Dan, you two are terrible.:D

[RufflyRustic]

Geez, look what happens when I'm away, sigh!

Lignum, I believe Sturdee was actually being very humble, honest, upfront (which deserves respect) and paid you a compliment in that he seriously thought about your line to "g..a..l", how it applied to him and what he could do, would do and has done about it.

Sometimes an off-hand(?) comment strikes home very hard and makes one re-evaluate where they are in life. Has this ever happened to you? Maybe this isn't where Sturdee is coming from, but if I was in Sturdee's shoes, this is how I would see it.

Of course, this is my humble opinion and you don't have to agree with it.

Sturdee, I respect your decision and respect you for letting us know what and why. I hope you have many happy times dancing with SHMBO.


cheers
Wendy

[Bodgy]

As I said before, it may be a generational thing. I do use naughty words to make a point, or add some humour, but never with the intention of offending anyone. In particular Sturdee, who has been extremely helpful to me, and has my respect.

Surely, it's no big deal, lets move on. Like DanP says, nothing wrong with a bit of biffo.

[Lignum]

However, I do agree with Ryan, and think that you have gone too far. Please just say sorry to Peter (Sturdee), and you will be seen in a rather different light. Do not, and you may not be very welcomed here again.

Cheers!


Do you lot lay awake at night not being able to sleep because i used the term "get a life"



Looks like i wont be welcom anymore.

[outback]

I should follow Lous advice and just let it go to the keeper. It is such a minor matter. BUT you have just Re-Posted publicly a Private Message. That as far as im concerned is far worse than any tit for tat or silly name calling. I could go on, but the trivial nature of this rubish is not worth it. As far as im concerned this is the last time i can be bothered commenting on it..

[silentC]

I can't think of anything to say without offending anyone. It must be something to do with the phase of the moon or something. It would be very disappointing to lose a member like Lignum over something like this. With all due respect to those who have called for it, I don't think he has anything in particular to apologise for. We're all grown adults here, aren't we?

Sheesh, if I had a dollar for every time I've offended someone or been offended...

Lou, you're a classic...

[Cliff Rogers]

.... It must be something to do with the phase of the moon or something......

http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/showthread.php?t=24333

[craigb]

I can't think of anything to say without offending anyone.

And your problem is? :confused: :p

[arose62]

Well, I read through this, and started wondering to myself if this was a normal part of "the life cycle of a bulletin board".

Surely we can't be the only folks in the world demonstrating these behaviours?

Anyway, I did a bit of googling, and this study looked like it had some reasonable likenesses to what I think I see going on.

http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol10/issue4/kavanaugh.html

Seems to me the BB has matured to the stage where there are a group of members who feel strongly-ish that they belong to this community, and are prepared to act in order to preserve it. I'm not educated in psychology or any other field of human behaviour (nor am I a Triton demonstrator), but I found it interesting in the above study that Education, Extrovertism and Age were three factors which predicted one being strongly involved in communities.

On-line communities can be more prone to flaming etc. due to participants not expecting to meet face-to-face. (Makes sense to me). This would give the caring members more incentive to try to preserve the community in whatever ways they felt best.

I'd love to know if anyone finds any hard info on this sort of study.

Cheers,
Andrew

[Grunt]

I can't think of anything to say without offending anyone. It must be something to do with the phase of the moon or something. It would be very disappointing to lose a member like Lignum over something like this. With all due respect to those who have called for it, I don't think he has anything in particular to apologise for. We're all grown adults here, aren't we?

Sheesh, if I had a dollar for every time I've offended someone or been offended...

Lou, you're a classic...


Darren, I find your comments offensive.


:D

[silentC]

Mission accomplished!!

[arose62]

Lots of about group interaction, and moderating, and more info here:

http://www.lifewithalacrity.com/2005/03/dunbar_altruist.html

"such as this study using MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) that shows that our brain's pleasure systems are activated when we altruistically punish."

So, some members are getting unhealthy stimulation of their brains' pleasure systems from saying "naughty, naughty" to others:D :D Betcha didn't realise that!

And, BTW, I'm offended by both Grunt and SilentC for ignoring my valiant attempt to move this discussion to a higher, or at least slightly different, ground.;)
(Hmmm, not sure that did much stimulating for me...)

Cheers,
Andrew

[silentC]

Sorry, I was thinking about it, although I don't have time to read the article. I'm sure a sociologist would have a field day with the posts to this thread and others.

I don't think this forum is any different to any other 'community' where you have a bunch of vastly different people brought together for a common reason. Once the novelty of discussing your favourite topic with like-minded individuals wears off, the underlying differences start to show through.

Some people you get along with famously and others are always going to be at arm's length. I guess that things don't really change all that much from when we were children in the schoolyard.

I've been called a bully, which is certainly a new one on me. I did give it a go once with a kid just to see what would happen. His sister punched me, so I gave that experiment up pretty quick ;)

Generally, I enjoy myself here. Some of the heated discussions I think get a bit out of hand. I watch my kids going at it and it's no different. Escalating violence I call it, with neither side wanting to back down. We all want to be heard, we all have our views. Here you get to rant and rave uninterrupted. No-one can shout you down. I can type what I want and press the Post button. You don't have to read it of course, but then when you're arguing face to face, who really listens to what the other guy is saying anyway? Buggered if I do. It's my opinion that counts!

Nah, all perfectly normal stuff. It's a shame, we should be able to rise above the petty business of everyday life and talk about the esoteric subjects we all love - but at the end of the day we're all human animals and that's just what we do.

[Zed]

what a bunch of purse carrying nancies.

a) get over yourselves
b) let go of whatever you are holding, either yourself or your grudge
c) get on with it
d) dont get offended - laugh it off
e) enjoy your cyber personality, dont suffer from it (or anyone elses)
f) kumbayah....

[bennylaird]

Well said Zed, ya big Nancy..................

[bennylaird]

Apologies for using the term "Nancy", I still remember Allo Allo where Renee says "Yes my brother and I both come from Nancy so we are Nancy Boys"
A great comedy, must buy the DVD's.

[Robert WA]

From the mouths of babes, and nose-picking monkeys.

Well said Zed.

[JackoH]

What the heck is going on here?
Stick to bloody woodwork and all will be happy, (or at least the silent majority) I remember this forum from last century when the subsciber-ship(?) was so small that we practically knew each other personally. Time and evolution means that like all things this board has changed, whether for better or worse is a matter of opinion.
But the solution is in our own hands, if we don't like the heat we can get out of the kitchen!

[craigb]

What the heck is going on here?
Stick to bloody woodwork and all will be happy, (or at least the silent majority) I remember this forum from last century when the subsciber-ship(?) was so small that we practically knew each other personally. Time and evolution means that like all things this board has changed, whether for better or worse is a matter of opinion.
But the solution is in our own hands, if we don't like the heat we can get out of the kitchen!

So we have to stick to woodwork even in the Nothing to do with Woodwork forum? :confused:

[Grunt]

I think we should move every forum to Open Slather. Ya pack of hand bag toting, blouse wearing Nancy boys.

[JDarvall]

Ohhh, Grunt...GET A LIFE !..you too Craig, Jacko etc..

[Sturdee]

I’m amazed at the heat and responses this thread has generated. Definitely not my intention and it definitely was not my intention that Lignum was made to feel unwelcome. :o

I have told him that privately and now publicly that I don’t want Lignum to leave.

It has become a mountain out of a molehill, so please let us all reduce the mountain back to a molehill and make everyone, including Lignam, feel welcome.

Whilst I did have a problem with his post, and I still think the phrase “Get a life” without the right smiley, indicating a joking manner, is rather insulting and playing the man not the ball. But I readily accept that this was not Lignum’s intention and there is absolutely no need for him to consider leaving.

I did see his posts and did not reply as in the heat of the moment I might have played the man and not the ball as well, and said things that later I would regret. Probably a mistake on my part and for the extra angst that this caused I apologize. :o

However I believe my post was justified in trying to get members to take stock of what has been happening and hopefully bring reality and respect back into it. Not surprisingly, I’ve heard of quite a few others who have become lurkers again for similar reasons.

As I’ve indicated in my opening post I’m not yet leaving but I’m drastically curtailing my online activity because of time constraints as my rekindled enjoyment in dancing has been making big inroads on my time. This change in direction or “ Getting a different life” whilst reducing my online activity does not mean I won’t be around to make the odd post as I have time.

I'll also will keep answering any questions on the various jigs I've posted, but sometimes a pm might be needed to alert me.:D


Peter.

[Cliff Rogers]

Sturdee?
Are you still here? :confused:

I thought you were going to get a life & build a jig, dig a jig, & dance a jig...
how are we supposed to talk about you if you keep coming back? :D

[Cliff Rogers]

There's a disappearing echo in here. :confused:

I'm sure I saw/heard that line about 3 hours ago but now it's gone. :rolleyes:

[bennylaird]

So does that mean it's ok to rubbish soccer still? lol

[Grunt]

So does that mean it's ok to rubbish soccer still? lol
<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

No the soccer playing pansies will cry.

[JackoH]

So we have to stick to woodwork even in the Nothing to do with Woodwork forum? :confused:
Why not? We don't stick to woodwork in the other forums!:rolleyes:

[bitingmidge]

Why not? We don't stick to woodwork in the other forums!:rolleyes:
Jack,

Haven't you just answered your own question??

P
:confused: :confused: :confused:

[Christopha]

Ho Hum.....

[JackoH]

Jack,

Haven't you just answered your own question??:

Yes, so I have!:rolleyes: I rest my case.
.
I think Chris is getting the point!

[RETIRED]

There's a disappearing echo in here. :confused:

I'm sure I saw/heard that line about 3 hours ago but now it's gone. :rolleyes:
Now you see it, now you don't.:D