View Full Version : Dribbling in ma beer. (plonk)
Cliff Rogers
3rd October 2005, 09:48 PM
Don't read this if you don't want to hear about death by cancer.
A good friend who has lived around the corner about 2 blocks away, (staggereing distance) for the last 7 years is on his last.... can't even say legs 'cos he can't stand up any longer.
He has Cancer of the Liver.
That bit is secondary & there are at least 7 tumours.
When they found it, the biggest was 16cms. :eek:
It took them a couple of weeks to find the primary cancer & they needed to find that before they could do anything about the secondary one.
They didn't really 'find' it... it announced it's self when he turned yellow & his poop tuned white.
No bile!!!
The primary is in his bile ducts.
They have done a couple of proceedures to put stints in his bile ducts but the proceedure comes with a possible complication of infection.
He got the infection & the treatment for the infection comes with a complication.... so on it goes.
He looks like something out of a horror movie. :(
He was one of 'the' best excuses to 'go to the fridge' when he was around to visit 'cos the second thing he ever said when he arrived was "It's a bit of a dry argument, don't you reckon."
He says he's disappointed that it's not sorosis 'cos he's tried hard enough.:o
The only plus is that he has gone home from hospital & has a special bed set up & when his friends turn up to say farewell, even though he looks like he's dead already, he's not & he can hear them & even still manage to acknowledge them. ( insert sad, teary, big lump in the throat emoticon here.)
Gumby
3rd October 2005, 09:56 PM
I know how you feel. When I first got the invite to Borer's recent BBQ which you came to, I said I had a friend who was very ill with the same thing and we were planning a lunch that day, to say goodbye so to speak. Well he wasn't well enough for that lunch so I was able to get to Rob's BBQ.
Unfortunately he passed away last week and we never got to have that last lunch. He went form reasonably fit last summer, to getting the news in january, being diagnosed as beyond help shortly after and went progessively downhill form that point. He looked awful the last time we did see him.
It shakes you up a bit. I don't know whether it would be better to go out knowing and be able to make arrangements or just go out suddenly with a massive heart attack. I think knowing is better, to be able to say your farewells, especially to the kids. The trouble is, it's painful and my friend was just so full of morphine in the end, he didn't really know much at all.
Very, very sad, but that's life and there but for the grace....etc.
Best wishes to you Cliff. I know what it's like.
echnidna
3rd October 2005, 09:59 PM
Cliff & Gumby
Sorry to hear about both your news.
Auld Bassoon
3rd October 2005, 10:03 PM
Cliff & Gumby,
I echo Bob, bad news for you both - and even more for the respective families. If you weren't blokes, I'd send you hugs...
Take care!
Steve
craigb
3rd October 2005, 10:12 PM
My BIL (wifes brother, not the bloke with the cigars) died of melanoma in April.
He was 46 years old.
RIP Brad.
It's a bugger of an illness.
Give me an infarction anyday.
Cliff Rogers
3rd October 2005, 10:21 PM
Thanks guys.
This is the second close person that I have watched take this road out & yes, it good to get to say goodbye but I wish they could then just walk onto the boat/plane/bus/charriot & go if they have to.
Two of my Granparents went to cancer but I was too young to understand the yucky details.
Now I do.
Gumby
3rd October 2005, 10:24 PM
Makes you think we should be able to choose ourselves. Have something ready to take and go without the pain whenever we like, when we are ready. I'm sure that will come one day.
Cliff Rogers
3rd October 2005, 10:31 PM
Yeap well, that's one of the positives about being able to be at home... when he starts to frown, they move the dial up a notch.... he may be out of it half the time but... so what, he's gonna die one day. :rolleyes:
....Give me an infarction anyday.
I just looked that up....:confused:
I think I'd rather go by an intercourse :D with a cherry on top.... Yikes.. :eek: Did I say that? :confused: I meant what's her name...:cool: [smack] Ooww I didn't mean you[smack] Ooww? I did mean that it was you that I wasn't meaning... I think... [smack] Ooww I didn't mean I was thinking of you [smack] Ooww I did mean I was thinking of you [smack] Ooww I give up.... I hope? :D
Cliff Rogers
6th October 2005, 10:47 AM
The wait is over. :(
bitingmidge
6th October 2005, 11:00 AM
sorry.
P :(
The wait is the worst bit though.
MeTaBo MaN
6th October 2005, 12:23 PM
Gezz sorry to hear that Cliff!:(
Rocker
6th October 2005, 12:37 PM
Cliff,
Sorry to hear that you have lost a friend. I won't say any more, because whatever I say will sound trite.
Rocker
silentC
6th October 2005, 01:01 PM
Yes, likewise mate. Sorry to hear it.
Gumby
6th October 2005, 01:23 PM
Me too Cliff. At least the pain has stopped. :(
Daddles
6th October 2005, 01:58 PM
It's a hard one - sad to lose your mate, happy he's no longer suffering. Just roll with it mate. I'll have a drink to honour your loss tonight.
Richard
outback
6th October 2005, 02:18 PM
There's little anyone can do or say to alleviate your pain.
Just know we are all thinking of you.
biotechy2k
6th October 2005, 03:28 PM
Dear Cliff
I don't know anything we say on this forum can help you with your pain and the pain of his passing but remembering with the love of a great friendship you once both shared his passing will be easier to bare, Take care friend You have honoured his spirit with your friendship, and I will light a candle for that friendship and raise a glass in toast
and may you both meet up at the Bridge and share good times again
Sincerely Bio
scooter
6th October 2005, 09:24 PM
Cliff, as outback said, we're thinking of you, mate.
Same goes for you and your mate, Gumby.
Treasure the memories.
Regards...........Sean
Auld Bassoon
6th October 2005, 09:54 PM
I'm sorry for that mate - but perhaps an ending is better than continuing torment.
Cheers Cliff, go well! You too Gumby me ol' mate!
MajorPanic
6th October 2005, 10:10 PM
Sorry to here the news Cliff.
I know what it's like I watched my mother & to some extent my father die of cancer. It'd have to be the worst way to see someone you care about go.
My thoughts are with you, mate.
Gumby
6th October 2005, 10:21 PM
I didn't intend to hijack Cliff's thread or steal some of the thoughts but thanks anyway guys.
cheers.
WWW show tomorrow, we are still here and life goes on.
;)
doug the slug
6th October 2005, 10:45 PM
Cliff and Gumby, not wanting to take away anything from your grief either but i just got home today after attending the funeral of the wife of a good mate. she was fighting cancer since 1997 and passed away sunday night. She was a great lady and a fighter to the bitter end. It has been a tough day for me too, as i lost my own wife just over 3 years ago and that gave me too much of an insight into what was going on in my mate's mind and his kids as well, similar ages to mine. it was really spooky sitting there at the funeral, thinking back to when my own wife died and reliving the pain over again. hopefully over teh next little while i can help my mate find his way through the struggle
Gumby
6th October 2005, 11:04 PM
Geez Doug, that's a lot harder than losing a friend. But then again, the friend is somebody's wife or husband so others suffer and grieve at different levels and for different times. It effects us all in different ways but in the end, somebody has gone.
It's just a fact that we all face our time one day. The tragedy comes when the day arrives far too soon. My condolences to you and wish you strength in dealing with what you have to bear.
I think we all are touched by it sometime and probably more so in a forum like this where we are generally middle age and onwards. That's why we can only live on and enjoy whatever time we are given.
Make the most of it, hug somebody you love and live each day as if it were the last.
That's what all those who have gone would want.
regards
Cliff Rogers
7th October 2005, 12:40 AM
Thanks for the kind comments every one. I don't mind sharing the thread with others. It is a relief to know that he is now in peace. It's not fair for a man who normally spent so much time outside working on boats to have been confined to a bed for the last 6 weeks.
Snip from the arrangements...
We are having a Celebration of his life at the Cairns Yacht Club on Monday... We will meet on the beach outside the club - so leave the black threads and formal wear behind and wear something tropical casual. Bring your memories, stories and any photos you may have. We can share a drink and tell tall tales and true of a legendary past and later retire to the clubhouse for nibbles.