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KBs PensNmore
12th June 2017, 03:17 PM
Six great confusions still unresolved:


1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?


2. In the word scent, is "S" silent or "C"?


3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?


4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?


5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?


6. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be...congress?




Vagaries of English Language!


- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?


-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?


- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?


- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?


- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?


- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?


- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?


- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?


- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they just practicing at the expense of the patients?


- How come Noses run and Feet smell?


- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?


- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?




We can never find the answers, can we?


So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!

KBs PensNmore
12th June 2017, 03:23 PM
Points to ponder


As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
– John Glenn

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes.
When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.
– Desmond Tutu

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
– David Letterman

After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box.
– Italian proverb

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
– Prince Philip

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
– Harrison Ford

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the Impersonators would be dead.
– Johnny Carson

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
– George Roberts
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
– Robert Benchley

And the best one of all:
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
– W.H. Auden

Handyjack
12th June 2017, 05:25 PM
As a fireman I look after the fire and make sure it burns!

ian
13th June 2017, 02:31 AM
In the word scent, is "S" silent or "C"? sent cent for scent

KBs PensNmore
13th June 2017, 10:05 PM
No wonder migrants have trouble comprehending the English language, words with same sounds, different spelling, similar spelling, different sounds.
No wonder I failed English at school.

Tonyz
14th June 2017, 01:55 PM
sent cent for scent

wrong! should be cents sent for scent.

Handyjack
14th June 2017, 07:11 PM
wrong! should be cents sent for scent.

You are both correct.
Ian is sending one cent ($0.01), Tonto is sending more.

What is the scent?

Sawdust Maker
14th June 2017, 08:33 PM
I think a TV was a set of valves

popawisky
15th June 2017, 02:27 AM
Not forgetting the oldy
Wanted a sign reading Crown and Anchor.
Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor. You brainy blokes can put the commas in.

ian
15th June 2017, 02:44 AM
no comma required

Twisted Tenon
15th June 2017, 08:42 AM
I think a TV was a set of valves

Yep, that's what I thought too

TT

doug3030
15th June 2017, 10:06 AM
Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor.

You are an "and" short. :doh:

ian
15th June 2017, 10:26 AM
Wanted: a sign reading Crown and Anchor.
Sign writer made a mistake I wanted a dot between Crown and and and and and Anchor. You brainy blokes can put the commas in.


You are an "and" short. :doh:
:?

that's not how I'm reading it

popawisky
15th June 2017, 10:59 AM
An and short????? That's andy