Craporium up date

[ozwinner]

Welcome back viewers.
Latest update on Al an Mrs Al, Versus the world.

Last week I caught a shop lifter trying to steel a crappy screwdriver that I would have charged him $1 for.
He even came equiped with his shop lifting coat which had pockets sewn into the lining.
He was totaly dumbfounded that I demanded the screwdriver back from him, how the freek did I know. :eek:
'Cause I was watching him.....:D
I also saw him have a p*ss in the yard, on the move too. :eek:
Clever stuff.....:(

Today I caught another having a leak in the yard, I saw him in all his glory standing there.
Just minutes before, a young mum with a young boy was just there in the same spot. :eek:

What are these ppl thinking??:confused:
Or dont they??

Anyway I always report these things to the local cops, with piccys, rego numbers etc.
But I dont seem to get a response after I have reported it.
Should I? :confused:

Al :eek:

[Auld Bassoon]

Hi Al,

No. Just post the miscreant's pictures on a notice board right by the store entrance:D

Cheers!

[echnidna]

After you hang a few pics give the local newspaper a ring.

[Caliban]

or post that picture of you almost naked, then they'll think you're a queer and will not bare their genitals anywhere near your shop. I hope. :D
Seriously have you offered to beat some sense into them?
I'd want to be sharpening a really big knife whilst talking to them about your concerns with their behaviour.
Given the local plod's lack of response to your calls, they may be reticent to come to the aid of someone who has a complaint about you.

[Gumby]

Today I caught another having a leak in the yard, I saw him in all his glory standing there.
:

maybe you could put a lemon tree out there :D

[Zed]

al, youre a brickie, show him what you can do with bricks,

gumbo i tred to give u a greenie but alas... too many reds!

[Grunt]

but alas... too many reds!


Which one? A good shiraz I hope.

[Sir Stinkalot]

I think a board of shame ..... post it in the window of the craporium .... let the local paper know .... turn it into a local attraction. I think the photo and a written description of the crime.

Got no idea about the legals but as long as you have prrof I would assume they have committed the crime. The blue boys don't seem interested.

[Grunt]

Where's Dan when you need him?

[DanP]

On private property, the only offence would be common law exposure and it has to be seen by two people. Do you think the DPP would present someone for a trial at a cost of tens of thousands of dollars for someone taking a leak? I don't think so.

Dan

[ozwinner]

I dont want this thread turned into a " owwh the cops did this or that" thread.
I think they ( cops ) have it hard enough.
I have a few friends in the job, so I know how hard it gets.
Maybe I worded my first post wrongly?

Al :)

[DanP]

Maybe I worded my first post wrongly?

Probably. :p

[Auld Bassoon]

I dont want this thread turned into a " owwh the cops did this or that" thread.
I think they ( cops ) have it hard enough.
I have a few friends in the job, so I know how hard it gets.
Maybe I worded my first post wrongly?

Al :)

Al,

Not taken that way mate, and I agree with your sentiments re. the boyz in bluez..

Just post the pics on the boardhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif - with names if possible...

Cheers!

[outback]

Yes Al, gotta proper talk, or confused little buggers we gonna be. :D

[vsquizz]

Hey Al, why not hunt around the craporium for a working amplifier/PA. Run a really big loud speaker out to the offending area. When you see one of these turkeys jump on the mike with something witty...(I'm sure you'll think of something:D ) ......:D

Cheers..(the mind boggles)

[namtrak]

Yes Al, gotta proper talk, or confused little buggers we gonna be. :D

Methinks Yoda be you

[Cliff Rogers]

Where's Dan when you need him?

Or Sturdee....

[ozwinner]

Hey Al, why not hunt around the craporium for a working amplifier/PA. Run a really big loud speaker out to the offending area. When you see one of these turkeys jump on the mike with something witty...(I'm sure you'll think of something:D ) ......:D

Cheers..(the mind boggles)

We have thought about that, the problem is we get more good ppl than bad in the shop.
So how is it going to sound over the load speaker " HEY PENCIL D**K, PUT IT AWAY" ?

Not good. Funny, but not good.

Al :eek:

[vsquizz]

So how is it going to sound over the load speaker
" HEY PENCIL D**K, PUT IT AWAY" ?

Not good. Funny, but not good.

Al :eek:

ROFLMAO:D :D :D or maybe "ello D**kh**d..what ave we ere then"

..maybe you could run a thread/competition for the best smart A**e retort for the Craporium Loud Speaker.

Cheers

[doug the slug]

I think a board of shame ..... post it in the window of the craporium .... let the local paper know .... turn it into a local attraction. I think the photo and a written description of the crime.



well im not a lawyer but if you post the piccies without any written commentary, you arent accusing anyone of anything are you? if anyone takse you to task about it then it will be up to them to somehow justify what they are doing in the photo as being legal, so only post photos or sequences of photos that you are sure cant come back and bite you on the bum

the other customers can see the pics and draw their own conclusions. im sure people would soon get the idea about what the photos are for and it would probably become a local attraction.

hey heres a thought - post the best, and least contravercial photo for the week on a board and run a caption competition every week. make the prize a cheap hoe or somethinghttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Sturdee]

Or Sturdee....

I'm here. :D

Al, connect a VCR to your CCTV and record these special :eek: occasions and then make a Best of the Crapitorium video. I think you'd sell lots of copies. :D :D :D

To cover the legalities put up a warning notice.


Peter.

[Caliban]

make the prize a cheap ho or something
I'm not ure that would attract the kind of people Al wants around his place.We run a respectable 'ouse 'ere, guv. :D

[Christopha]

I like the loudspeaker idea... perhaps, young Al, you could run a comp on here for the best "retort".... my entry might be .... " You want a a seat with something that short?" or perhaps, " You want flies with that sir?" or maybe even....... no, will belt me!...... :D

[Driver]

Christopha, that's a good idea. Here's my entry:-

(Bearing in mind that Al doesn't want to upset the rest of his customers by being too vulgar and bearing in mind, too, that the customers inside the shop can't see what's going on in the back yard):-

"G'day everyone! If you're interested in real bargains, you may like to visit the rear of the store. Our outdoor display has some specials that are only available during Happy Hour - starting right now!"

Let's see the bastards stop mid-flow and zip up before the rest of the patrons join them! :D

[Trav]

What about

'we have a sale on water features out the front of the store right now'

Trav :D

[rodm]

Stop charging to use the loo ( :D )

or install a dunny and problem solved.

[Christopha]

Buy one of those super soaker water pisstol things and get even!

[bsrlee]

In NSW its 'Common Law Lewdness' - and has NO maximum penalty :cool: & only needs someONE to see it. So no need for a big audience.

A couple of (concealed) loud speakers & a loud recording of a ferocious dog could also be an effective deterrant. Of course there might be a bigger mess to clean up afterwards.......

I also like the idea of the video camera (even one of the dummy ones with a red LED) and a BIG ;) sign about video surveilance.

[DavidG]

What's wrong with an electric fence unit and some chicken wire on wooden posts? :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ;) :p :D

[Caliban]

how about some (allegedly?) harmless comments like
"who do you think you're going to please with that?"
or
"is that a $#%@ or a cockroach?"
or
...no, will belt me too and I'll have to change my name again. ;)

[Baz]

DavidG, beat me by 5 minutes!
Cheers
Barry

[doug the slug]

how about this one

"just a freindly reminder ladies and gentlemen that our store has a policy of random bag checking at the exits - and for the old bag near the bird cages with the perches in her pocket, THIS MEANS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gra]

Your a hardware store, You have sprinkler systems, Hide one in the lawn were they are p@##$%G and a remote tap new the register, when you spot one turn on the spinkler, bingo, they will be wetter than your lawn....