Warning about depression - please read

[TassieKiwi]

They say suicide is painless....... but not to those left behind.

I was first at the scene on Sunday 14 August after my wife's uncle found his beautiful 33yr old daughter in her car - she had gassed herself. Bloody miserable. The pain this causes is immeasurable, and the ripples are wide; so many people are devastated.

This post is not to be a downer, just to say that if you know if someone who is a bit depressed, or showing classic signs of mental illness - watch closely, and try to somehow find out how they really feel. Two sisters tried in this case to make appointments etc and were pushed away. Apparently there may have been an earlier attempt that wasn't revealed (by the boyfriend). Don't think it won't happen - it just might.

If you are contemplating it - please get help. You would be so cruel on your loved ones. It is a desolate feeling that if only she had talked to one of us for a few minutes, she'd still be here, and that we've failed her. Maybe just a special hug, a kind word, a wee present would have got her through. Who knows?

[zenwood]

Very, very sad story, Kiwi. Maybe we need more public education to spot the signs of depression before it gets serious, and how to respond. Maybe you could post some links to good info as a contribution.

Some friends' kids went through serious depression in their late-teens/early 20s. Needed lots of medical help/medication etc. to get them through. Schitzophrenia seems to be an important correlate.

[Wood Borer]

I am very sorry to hear your news.

Your warning may jolt some of us to help others by showing we care and prevent a duplicate sad event.

I read up about the topic when a relative was threatening suicide. My interpretation was that they have identified a problem, they have searched for solutions but have found none apart from ending their lives.

You can use their desire for a solution to find a solution and save their lives. Easier said than done perhaps but worth putting in a few hours.

[TassieKiwi]

Thanks guys. I had decided to educate myself about all of this. Here's a good site to start with:

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Depression_Information/signs.htm

...a bit scary - I recognise some of the symptoms, and I think lots of us would. Worth a read, for sure.

[Sturdee]

They say suicide is painless....... but not to those left behind.


I agree. The day before the ( 40 'iss ) son of a friend of mine died after having been in a coma for 5 days as a result of an OD. He had saved up a supply of his medication untill he had enough to commit suicide. He left behind a wife and 2 kids.

As you said it might have painless for him but not to his relatives as my mate is still grieving so badly that he can hardly work.


Peter.

[knucklehead]

The worst issue with depression is that those who are suffering it are often the least able to see it and admit it.

One of the guys I worked with commited suicide. It caught a lot of us completely off guard because we thought that we knew him quite well. He was the guy that was always clowning around.
It was not until afterwards that people started to piece together the warning signs, and there were plenty. Unfortunatly hindsight is not good enough. If only one of us had the forsight and courage to take action earlier.

[Gra]

Guys,
Sorry for the length, but maybe if someone reads this and from that gets some help, it will be worth it. I come from a strong position here. I am currently being treated for depression. I was lucky I had a good doctor who worked out what was wrong. I knew I wasnt right but could put a finger on what was wrong, finally went to the doctor, he had diagnosed it in about ten questions. It can happen to anyone. I had my suspitions in the back of my mind, and now that I think about it, I suffered the same during my teens and twenties and self medicated with binge drinking (This doesnt work guys... but t was fun at the time). I used to do what I now call my siside runsin a car.

If anyone knows the north-east of melbourne,they involeved a run from warrandyte to kangaroo ground through eltham to templestowe and back to warrandyte. This is a fairly winding hilly section of melbourne. The roads arent the greatest and I was doing them at an average of 80 to 100 KPH (Speed limit mainly 60).

then about a year and a half ago my life went completely to s**t. There was a management restructure at my work and my new boss had no people skills and no idea, and in fact went out of their way to made life hard for me (This was noticed and commented on by other managers who worked around me and my staff, but nothing was done for political reasons. Politics suck), my father got sick and needed spinal surgery, then he had three strokes, my wife had our first child, A poject I was working on at work didnt deliver what it was supposed to (For reasons that I had previously told them it wouldnt work), and all in six months.

I was put on medication. Within a week, I could feel the change in my outlook, I literaly felt a weight lifting from my shoulders (it was a physical feeling, it was amazing). I will be going to the doc this week to look at lowering my dosage with the idea of slowly getting me of the pills.

I cannot stess more the comment no-one else realy noticed I was depressed, though my wife (who is a nurse) new something was wrong, but didnt know what. In the teen years everyone thought I was a happy kid, just a bit of a loner, and I didnt know any better and thought everyone felt the same way.

Gotta say now things a looking up I have since changed jobs, within the same company, my new boss is so more supportive and helpful I cannot believe it is the same organisation. we have had our second child. All I have to do is get this back of mine to work properly now.

AS a finishing comment, if anyone has that feeling that something isnt quite right with them bu cant out their finger on it, see your doctor, tell him what you are feeling. you may be amazed as I was. If anyone wants to talk to me in private about this topic, PM me I have no qualifications other that experience but are still willing to talk with you.

[Gingermick]

Tassie, you didn't fail her and thanks to you, and people like you talking about it, more resources are becoming available and are more accessible.

I had problems with anxiety, which is related. Luckily anxiety is fairly apparent in that you know something is going on when you have panic attacks. Even if you dont know what they are. :confused:

[Studley 2436]

Very sorry for your loss Tassie. Have to give hearty endorsement to Gra. Depression is a very real illness and should be treated as such. It happens to good people all the time the reasons are not always apparant. What Ginger Mick said about anxiety is pertinent. What might be depression is sometimes anxiety, and vice versa. They call it DASS or Depression Anxiety Stress Syndrome. It doesn't mean you are nuts if you have to go and see the doctor about it. It doesn't make you weak. In fact to go and face up that you might have a difficulty that you can tell a GP about it is most likely a sign of strength.

You would hope a GP will prefer to talk things through before prescribing medication, and if they prescribe medication they will also insist that you are seeing someone to talk about things with. The Prozac family inc Zoloft etc are pretty wonderful drugs. What they are called is "Seratonin Uptake Inhibitors". Seratonin is a hormone that is present in everyones brain and keeps them calm. DASS sufferers often use up their Seratonin to fast so there is not enough present to keep them level headed. Possibly we all drift to and even past the edges of depression at various stages. DASS sufferers aren't really able to get away from that area. Counceling and Medication can make a big difference.

A really good source of information is the Beyond Blue website, which is a well founded and researched source. You might know that Winston Churchill suffered depression. He called it his black dog. Malcolm Blight also suffered depression. I remember reading excerpts from his biography and it read like a litany of woe. I was thinking what am I missing here. I heard these stories from other places and he sounds like everyones favourite guy that they all wanted to have around. Just goes to show. For those who don't know Malcolm Blight was one of the very best Footballers ever if you follow Aussie Rules. In fact everything he has ever done in football has been a success.

I would like to say don't try and be too helpful as that might have the opposite effect to what you want. Really you can't do much more than be available and approachable.

Stephen

[E. maculata]

Two of the most capable sincere Blokey type blokes I knew, have taken this way out in the past 18 months or so, I worked with N... the day before he did it, he left work with a grin and said see ya next week he was 50ish with no history of anything like this, and P... we've known since he was 10, 33 when he decided to, P... was an up & down sorta Bloke(diagnosed), and was on a good upward swing just made the boss at work, got back together with his wife and ...........well the Fella from beyond blue said some interesting stuff at the get together.
Definitely leaves me bewildered as to why for both, but knowledge doesn't make it any easier for us to understand, just try to help I s'pose.

Our heartfelt wishes to all who are affected.

[Daddles]

Yeah, well I can wave the depressed hand in the air. It's a bastard though it doesn't have to be a killer. Not wanting to downplay the impact of suicide but far more damage is done without getting that far - marriages, lives, etc. Suicide is by far the worst outcome but that's a minority response - the majority of people having their lives ruined don't get that far. It's also treatable and manageable, by drugs, cognitive methods (managing the way you think) and lifestyle. Depression can range from the deepest, blackest depths up to something so mild you are just regarded as a bit of a loser. Trouble is, mild depression can be as damaging. The new drugs are very safe and once they find the right one and the right dose (can call for some experimentation), the drugs aren't a problem - you couldn't have said that 15 years ago.

I wrote a book on the subject last year - a survivor's guide really. You can see the blurb here
Burning Away the Black Mist (http://www.richardspurling.com/blackmist.html)
Yeah, I'd like you to buy it but mention this post and I'll give you the link to the download page.

Cheers
Richard

[Clinton1]

Look after yourself Tassie, after seeing that situation.

Good on you Graham for getting help and opening up about it.

We get training at work about suicide and depression... but sometimes you just can not pick up on the signals.
I think that it is good to get the issue out in the open and make people aware that you think depression is a normal fact of health and life, just like the flu. That way there is more chance they will speak up when something is wrong. There has been an image of "weakness" associated with depression for a long time. That image does not help. Bloody Blokes... we will fix the car when it is broken, but when its with ourselves we tend to bottle it up and let things carry on.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is another bad one too. So, again, look after yourself Tassie.

[JDarvall]

Sorry to all concerned TassiKiwi. Dreadful stuff.


The worst issue with depression is that those who are suffering it are often the least able to see it and admit it.
.

Agree with this entirely. And because they can't see it, like said before, they, as a consequence don't appear to be in trouble.....so we're less likely to notice. My best mate died this way. And I never saw it coming, and I new him very well.

[journeyman Mick]

Just a warning about the medications. Some of the anti depressant drugs have been found to cause more mood swings and depression. Someone I know well was prescribed one of the newer drugs and became suicidal (2 attempts) things got much better when drug was stopped. There was a news item recently which said the same thing, apparently it's been found that some of the anti depressants can cause suicidal tendencies, especially in younger people.

Mick

[julianx]

I feel for you kiwi

I had to identify my brothers body after he jumped off a bridge, he'd been in the water 3 days when they found him, I don't think I'll ever get that image out of my head.

I've been dealing with my own "black dog" for most of my adult life and I am getting better at it.
One of the reasons I don't talk about about it with many people is because most people who haven't experienced it don't really believe its an illness they think it's about "laziness" and "bludging".

As gingermick said you didn't fail her, after many years of contemplation I've discovered the harsh reality is that there is only one person responsible in a suicide.

Take care and look after those left behind.
julian

[Gingermick]

Just a warning about the medications.

Some people have problems with paroxetine (Aropax/Paxtine) there's web sites and support groups for that. They helped me greatly but stopping (or forgetting to take) them was wierd. I would get this tingly, uncomfortable feeling running down the back of my head.
Get the same feeling seeing Al starkers :eek:

[Studley 2436]

Some people have problems with paroxetine (Aropax/Paxtine) there's web sites and support groups for that. They helped me greatly but stopping (or forgetting to take) them was wierd. I would get this tingly, uncomfortable feeling running down the back of my head.
Get the same feeling seeing Al starkers :eek:
Zoloft makes you more stressed for the first couple of days that you take it. You get all fluttery and breathless. After that they do just what you want. Your GP should help you with all of that as with any medication.

Studley

[Daddles]

Let's not start a scare thread about the medications eh? They work and work well. But because they are messing with the brain chemistry, you have to get the right one for you. Unfortunately, the only method at the moment is the suck it and see method ... which is great if you get the right one. The main thing is to see a doctor and to keep seeing him AND to be honest. One of the reasons people don't get help is that they've read the scary stuff, particularly anecdotes about meds and IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, that is EXACTLY the sort of stuff you lap up.

Cheers
Richard

[Studley 2436]

I found out too late. The thing to do is to go and see your GP and tell them you would like to talk about stress or depression or anxiety. They will most likely chat with you a bit about the subject and give you a test where you just check the boxes about your state of mind. They can use the results from this to decide if you are stressed depressed or anxious or not as the case might be. Could be you just need to talk with someone about things. Either way it won't cost you much and might be worth everything to help you improve your life.

Studley

[Gingermick]

What's different about today, from other era's, that we have an epidemic of depression?
People are under much more pressure, IMO, to do this and earn that and fit a mould and like the same #### everyone else likes and buy the same #### everone else buys and look the same and act the same not rock the boat and particularly don't walk around with a smile on your face in an engineering firm.:mad:
I was a happy, care-free bloke when I got back into engineering after 5 years surveying. I'd lived through something I shouldn't have and was cheery just to be alive. Now the pressure of my job has driven me to become, in the words of an older colleague, a grumpy old man.
But I've now got a lathe. :D :D :D

[Daddles]

But I've now got a lathe. :D :D :D

Okay, you mount yourself in the lathe, then what ... :confused:

Richard

[Gingermick]

then you spin yourself to a care free life. And if you call now, you get free steak knives.

[TassieKiwi]

Once again thanks for the thoughts. My old Principal used to tell a story at assembly that, (abridged), said that if everyone on earth was able to take thier troubles and problems in a sack to a big field, and pour them in a pile, and then take a good look at the size and contents of everyone else's pile....they would be very happy to gather thier own up, put them in the sack and quietly go home.

That still doesn't stop us from mayby trying to handle a few of someone else's pile, especially if they see thiers as huge, and we don't.

That link that I posted covers a lot of the points on this thread - re meds, effects of modern life. We are 10 times more likely to suffer clinical depression than our western equivalents in 1945. 'Primitive' communities, or those with stron values and real community (think Amish) also do not suffer. Makes you think
BTW the family are slowly coming to terms with the big thoughts, and the tears are less.

[dan_tom]

There are a few reputable websites that might help:

www.beyondblue.org.au (the national depression initiative)

There are many links that are found at the "related links" section of their website.

If you would prefer to talk to someone, don't forget organisations like Lifeline that provide a 24 hour telephone based service (13 11 14).

Cheers
Dan

[stolar]

I should have known there would be many of you here on this board affected by anxiety, depression or OCD. Just need to look at some honing techniques advised on this board :). "Normal" people don't do that. How do I recognise those symptoms, well, take a guess? <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"/> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"/> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"/> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"/> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"/> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"/> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"/> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"/> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"/> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"/> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"/> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"/> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"/> </v:formulas> <v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"/> <o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"/> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style='12pt; 12pt'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.gif" o:href="http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/smilies/redface.gif"/> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]-->:o
<!--[endif]-->
On the other hand this was the last place I expected to find a serious discussion about the depression. Let me add a little bit of personal experience to it.

For those that have not felt it and have no first hand experience with clinical depression, a suicide is not a matter of choice for depressed. It is a solution to get rid of than pain inside your head (and no, it is nothing like a headache<!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape id="_x0000_i1026" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style='12pt;12pt'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image002.gif" o:href="http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif"/> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]-->:rolleyes:<!--[endif]-->). A kind word and a hug can help for as long as the word or a hug last but it cannot cure depression. By all means be kind to anyone you know is depressed and be supportive of them but often that is not enough.
I don't believe there is one solution for depression for everyone. Some mange successfully with medication, some never learn what is wrong with them and lead "interesting" life doing all sorts of things to themselves to "handle" "the blues", some learn to live with it and some unfortunately die of it.

I did not like what medication did to my brain so I decided to learn to live with depression. Sometimes it is not so easy and sometimes I’m not sure I’ll make it, but I made it this far and anything else is a bonus. You learn to enjoy every day as it comes! I made it this far because I seem to have very strong sense of self preservation (although sometimes it may not look that way) and I guess my depression is not quite as bad as some other people have it.

So, if you are depressed do something about it and make sure you survive and most of all don't feel bad or embarrassed about it as you are in excellent company, many of the most brilliant and creative minds in the history of western civilization were affected by depression.

As for OCD, surely some of the finest tools can only be result of a person with an OCD.
BTW, I don't mean to make fun of people with OCD, it is a serious and crippling affliction in its most severe form! I am merely pointing to people with borderline OCD or just OCD tendencies and I count myself as one of those.

<o ="">:p</o> And yes, I am a grumpy old man so bite me! :p

[johna]

Sorry to hear Kiwi.

There is another side to all this that i bet alot of you don't see, and thats the actual suicide.
Been a train driver for connex trains (now don't start abusing me if your tain was ever late)i have spoken to alot of other drivers who have had people throw themselves in front of their train.
I have also seen alot of Train drivers quit the job over it also.
Knock on wood, i haven't experianced it first hand and hope i never have to, but we get at least 1 per week.
So not only dos it leave alot of pain behind for relatives and friend, but also to the unknown party who has to live with it for the rest of his or her life

[dazzler]

Hi tassie,

Sorry to hear of your loss. As a copper I have been to many of these and many more attempts.

I take comfort in the thought that if there is a life after our time here that our loved ones who have gone before us are having a really nice time.

If there isnt a next life then at least they are at peace from the troubles that made life unhappy.

cheers

dazzler

[TassieKiwi]

Hope you are right Dazzler. She left no note but had a journal that had poems and writings that suggest that she really was not happy in this world, and really wanted to leave. We'd like to think that we could have changed that had we known, but maybe for her there really was only one way to end her torment. We will never know.


Thanks again for the kind words fellas. Life goes on - I think that one doesn't get over these things, but gets used to them. We're all OK anyway.

[TassieKiwi]

Another thread prompted me to give an update. The famiily had a memorial service and ash scattering (?) at home which was an open event. Heaps of locals, friends and workmates came. Really nicely done, with 33 red balloons let into the air at the end, and a barbie and a few drinks. The parents and family are dealing with it OK, but it's all a bit surreal still, and sad sad sad. You can't bring them back - life does go on though.

[Ashore]

Tassie condolences
I retirer 11 years ago because of my wife's Bi Polar
we are on top of it now however when it was first diagonised we knew nothing about it or depression , 11 years down the track and numerous medications plus hours on the net we ar more aware than we were
The facts that stand out to me are these
1 in 6 Women will suffer from severe depression
! in 8 Men will suffer from severe depression

Of those who suffer only 20 % will seak treatment

There are many drugs available all have some side affects that affect some worse than others.
There may be no Quick fix some times it may take years to get to the right medication trial and error, in other cases the first is the best , my point is
Don't give up
Don't stop taking the medication because you feel better.
Listen to your DR and if possible go to a specialist to be treated for depression
There is no shame in going to a specialist for any disease and that is what depression is simply a chemical disorder

Rgds

[aiwoz]

Sympathy and condolences to all of you who have suffered or are suffering due to those thus afflicted.

My lovely second wife unfortunately lost her brother as he suicided quite some years back and i never got to know him. Her mother has attempted 3 times and my wife has been left to get her back on track each time and is now living with us until she can get back out on her own.

Anniversaries and birthdays that can never be are usually the hardest times and with the recent resignation of Gallop over here, hopefully others can take heart and seek help.

Someone will always be there.

Aiwoz

[adrian]

My first experience with suicide was when I was in primary school. One of my friends brothers hanged himself on the clothes line. He was only about 12.
The next was a guy I worked with in the 90's.
The last was my uncle who hanged himself in his garage last year. He was in his late seventies. His wife had died and his two kids didn't have much to do with him and it was his solution to lonliness.
I guess most of us have contemplated it from time to time but we just don't get desperate enough to do it.
I've suffered chronic pain from IBS-C for over 30 years so I can understand why people sometimes take the suicide option. A few years ago I had a month of almost constant, incredible pain. I spent a lot of my time curled up in a ball abusing the gods and hoping I would get struck by lightning. I don't know what the neighbours thought about it. I was trying to be as quiet as possible. I was lucky that I had a friend who came around almost every day to support me. I am very aware that if I had still owned a rifle I wouldn't be here now.
IBS and many other forms of chronic pain are very often suffered in silence. You have to be more sensitive to peoples needs and take their illness into account when organising activities. I have known of people who suffer from IBS-C to research toilet locations when planning something as simple as shopping. If they can't get accurate information about locations and travelling time to each toilet they don't go out. There are many people who hear about that sort of thing and can't help but think it's funny. Believe me, it's not. It's a common cause of depression in the 10% of the First World population who suffer from it.
A friend of mine has had two hip replacements because of arthritis. He has it in his spine and both shoulders so when we organise activities we are very cognisant of what he can and can't do.

The same goes for a friend suffering depression. You have to be aware of what is going on in their head. Always engage them in conversation when you are out and about because a crowded room is the lonliest place on the planet when you're depressed.
If someone in your house is depressed turn off the news broadcasts and use the newspaper to line the garbage because garbage is all you get on the news these days.

[Ivan in Oz]

One of the reasons people don't get help is that they've read the scary stuff, particularly anecdotes about meds and IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, that is EXACTLY the sort of stuff you lap up.
Cheers
Richard

G'day Guys....and Gals.
I'm thinking I'm there at the moment.
Severe....Dunno?????
Or am I just Lethargic?
As Wongo puts it "You can talk the game but can you play the game."
That is me ATM. Have the Tools and nothing else:(

Looking for ways to get through it ...AND Come out thge other end, unscathed as much as possible.:rolleyes:

One of Bennylairds Posts just hit the Nail on the head, and gave me the iniative to write; Maybe he's there also; for his sake, I hope NOT!!
http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/showthread.php?t=38661

Hope to be at Rockers next month,
I'll either be coping; to some degree; or Hopefully over it; to some degree:cool:


Hey!! Haven't lost my Sence of Humour:) :) :rolleyes:

Lost most everything else of value to me, though.
What's that saying......Sorry Gals:o ......
Life's a Bitch, then she takes it ALL;
including the Kids:mad:

[Rocker]

Ivan,

Twenty-five years ago I was deeply depressed about problems at work. Now, I could scarcely be happier. If you can just keep going, you will find things will get better, and eventually you will emerge into the sunlight again. Hang in there mate.

Rocker

[jmk89]

Ivan

As someone who had to leave his job four years ago because of depression, and who still battles with it, let me add that you shouldn't let any concerns you may have with psychiatrists and cousellors mislead you. There are really talented counsellors who can help you with the process of reasoning and there are really good new drugs that can deal with the chemical side of depression. So GET HELP.
You aren't alone - one in five of us will have a depressive episode. And coming out the other side of depression is wonderful - I don't know about you, but when I was depressed all the things that used to give me pleasure did nothing for me, everything was a burden and the least irritation could lead me to losing my temper... Not pleasant for me or anyone around me. When you get over it, the most important thing is that you get back your sense of fun and pleasure. It's as if salt loses its flavour and then gets it back. So hang in and we are all on your side.

If you don't wnat to go straight to the counsellors and doctors, then get in touch with beyond blue or black dog foundation.

All the best, mate

Jeremy

[lubbing5cherubs]

Ivan mate I am sorry you are going through this at the time. I know my brother going through the same thing you are dealing and he is struggling too. It will get better. Mate seek help you do not have to do this alone. People around you still love you and to some you are valued. I went through this 12 months ago. The only reason I did not go through because there was no way I wanted my kids to know that mum was a quitter. So hang in there and get help. The meds make you feel weird at first but it passes quick
Toni

[namtrak]

Hang tough my friend. It will pan out - it always does.

[Andy Mac]

Hi Ivan,
sorry to hear things are not too bright for you at present. As the others say, hang in there, it'll pan out. You've just got to be there when the weather clears.
I've been through it a bit, but rejected the medicine. One of the things I remember being the worst is the lethargy, knowing you should be doing something, anything, but just can't muster the energy to face it. Just laying back and wallowing. Very hard to do, but get up and do something, take your mind off your problems. Then look back and realise you've done something, its a step.

Take care,

[Dean]

If you are the reading type, go to the bookshop or the library and get this book:

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - by Robin Sharma.

Best book I have ever read and helped bring me out of a depressive episode earlier this year. Highly recommended.
If you are not a reader, this book is the best reason to start.

[Honorary Bloke]

Ivan,

I feel your pain as I've been there myself. :( Thought I would never . . . but got through it. :) First, find a good counsellor, and then, if needed, the right meds. But a good counsellor can really help in a hurry. Don't put it off. There really is still sunlight out there, mate.

[Clinton1]

Ivan,

See someone about it, and get professional and capable assistance.

If all that you do is to find someone that you can have a massive whinge to, then do that. Hanging out with other people that are calm or upbeat is great.... being alone is not so good.

The trouble with depression is that its easy to keep going down .... it can lead you to places that you don't need to be, and that you might not need to get to if you seek a bit of help.
Depression and sadness are real, normal and reasonable emotions and we all have them. They are the result of brain chemistry affecting moods, but the trouble is that the moods can affect the brain chemistry in return.

The good thing is that when you come out the other side you will be a better person for it, and will be more resiliant to life's knocks.

There really is no substitute for seeking assistance.

[Terry B]

Ivan
As a GP I have seen many people with depression. (even thought this is not my primary interest)
There is good help avaliable throught friends, and the medical system.
Please go and see your GP for advice.

[E. maculata]

G'day Ivan,
like the good Doc stated, please talk to someone, it's the real blokey Blokes who get knocked by life and forget they're not islands.


Bruce C.

[woodsprite]

Yes it's 2.15 a.m. I just knocked off after 5 hours putting TWO coats of primer sealer on the plaster board in the last roomtobe painted - because SWMBO said it must have two coats even though the rest of the house didn't get two coats. Just did it to save an argument from starting.

Reading these posts is pretty sad - I feel for you guys who have had, or currently do have - depression. Right at the monent I am trying to spend every spare moment I can either working with wood (after many years absent from the pleasure of wood) or getting my tools up to speed again. I feel a desperate urgency to be 'doing something' all the time because this seems to be the only thing that keeps the black dog away from me. He bit me about a year ago and the doc said yeah, pretty serious depression, and he was right. Since then I have been trying so hard to keep on top of things but I feel I am losing the battle and that black dog is about to bite really hard.
If I can't get on top of it all soon through my woodie stuff I dunno what will become of me. I really do feel like I am slowly becoming invisible, you know, just disappearing. Let's hope the good wood gives me the boost I think it will.

Thanks for reading this - crazy isn't it - I don't know a single one of you, but I feel safe with you.
Jeff

[mic-d]

I typed most of a longish post last night and the bloody browser crashed didn't it:rolleyes: . Anyway in abreviated form I can only add to what others have said Ivan, go and see a GP! If like me you need a wake-up call because you don't believe you have depression, go and do one or more of the questionaires on somewhere like beyond blue. That will give you a good indication if you have a problem if you answer honestly. About 6 years ago I went on meds for 6mnths but couldn't bear an annoying side-effect of that one (aropax), so got off it and went without until about 3mnths ago. Couldn't believe the black dog was back because nothing major seemed wrong, but the questionire said otherwise. So packed myself off to GP and am now on an excellent med for me (lexipro). She also suggested it was time to look at the triggers for my depression (fairly mild by some standards), so she suggested I visit an online CBT site run by ANU. www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/. Personaly I found it quite useful in identifying triggers and I'm hoping that I will have more tools in the future to deal with this drug free. I hope you all have a similar experience soon. Life really is too much joy to feel like ##### most of the time when there is help out there. The sooner you do it the less chance you will be kicking yourself that you wasted so much of your life.

Best wishes!
Michael

[sundowner]

Ivan and all,,Sorry to read so much sadness.All i can offer is to seek help NOW(i left it 7 years). Councelling is invaluable,so is consulting your gp.Now i am on medication,and councelling a couple times a year.Believe in yourself,dont bottle stuff up,get professional adviceand always feel good(hard to do,but achievable) PS go into shed with dog or trusted pet,talk to it ,they are good listeners,come out feeling better. Cheers Graham Vvet

[TassieKiwi]

Sooooo much has happened since that post of mine. Unfortunately the parents have not bounced back at all, the siblings are arguing over who gets the superannuation($80K) which is really gross. I think that I have come out of a mild depressive episode too.

Ivan - do have a read of this website. The sleep deprivation theory of theirs makes sense, and the training on not thinking 'black and white' can help everyone. Talk to people - anyone. Don't let it rule you mate.

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk...tion/signs.htm (http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/Depression_Information/signs.htm)

[Clinton1]

Jeff,
What will you do when you run out of things to do?
Depression is an illness - its real and treatable, but I'm not too sure if it goes away if you avoid it???
:confused:

What else have you been doing - just getting stuck into the renno's?

[dazzler]

Hi

That was an interesting link tassiekiwi.

After reading it a couple of things came to mind.

The first is to get a proper, thorough and detailed diagnosis. Not all depressive episodes will respond to the same treatment.

And the second is to put the effort into getting well.

I have two loved ones with depression. One will try anything to get better, the other will try something for a few days and if there are any side effects stops instantly.

Not hard to guess which one is healthier.

cheers

dazzler

[savage]

G'Day All,
seem's that we all a susceptable to the blue's (in some cases blacks), I like Jeff keep myself busy around the house, garden and shed. There is real sound advise in these posts e.g.

Seek medical advise.
Keep busy, but don't burn yourself out, take some time out.
Definitely get a dog, fantastic companions (you never feel alone when the house is empty).
Take the medication even if you have side effects, you will get past them when it is fully in your system.
Go out for lunch with the wife, she'll love it, and it will do you good.
Take it easy on the grog.The last one I found out the hard way, in that I was drinking less and less as I felt sick each time I had a drink, now I don't drink at all and don't really miss it. There are lot's of people to talk to here, or I am sure if you didn't want to be that open P.M. one of us. Be positive and look ahead, it get's better, I still have days where I don't give a shyte, tommorow is another day.:) :)

[Gingermick]

Life's a Bitch, then she takes it ALL;
including the Kids:mad:

I haven't posted for about a year because I became drepressed. Now a year later, I take the kids to my family for xmas while she goes to rehab for glug glug difficulties and I return to find that we are to separate.
She is so utterly confused and suggestible.
Have just written my life story,but you dont want to hear about my erroneous past.:no:
She is getting herself back on track tho I have slipped a bit lately but we had the chance for something great this year.
I had xanax (tranquiliser) and a repeat at home but burned the repeat, now I just have my counselor and kids (whom I haven't seen for 2 weeks)

This has led to some financial difficulty some I was wondering if anyone could give me (PM me) some advice on the worth and saleability of the below 100 odd year old planes

[arose62]

I wonder if the all the broken "Help" links at beyondblue, and the total lack of "Mens Services" and "What's On" at mensline contribute to the problems of folk using them to seek help?

I know it felt like a kick in the teeth when I was sitting there clicking broken link after broken link. Add them to the list of people in the world who don't give a fark about me

[scooter]

Gingermick, might be worth starting another thread for advice on the planes.

Hope 2007 is a good year, fellas.


Cheers.....................Sean