Telemarketing revenge

[Rodgera]

If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your
3-year old and tell her it's Santa.

[rrich]

That is a good one. I like it. However no grandkids so no 3 YO to give the phone to. :)

Here I get MANY calls trying to sell roof top solar panels. The theory is that what you don't pay for electricity you pay for the panels. I'll let them go through their spiel and finally they get to the "How much do you pay for electricity?" part. It usually goes like this:
M: "I don't know."
T: "How can you not know?"
M: "The landlord pays the electricity."
It is amazing how quickly they hang up. About one in 10 will apologize for bothering me. The theory is to waste as much of their time as possible.

Another trick that I'll use is to answer the phone, "Bueno" and then to everything that they say I'll just say, "Si".
After about 5 "Si" responses they usually hang up.

Sometimes I'll get a real scam call. I'll tell that I'm a retired official and that the call has been traced. When I get the e-mail with their location, I'll give it to Vinny and ask him to take care of the problem. Vinny owes me quite a few favors. I'll explain that Vinny gives the problem to his cousin Guido in Palermo. And that the caller has become a problem that Guido loves to solve.

[AlexS]

We get lots of scam calls from the sub-continent. I put a bit of profane abuse into google translate, translated it into Hindi and recorded the translation on my mobile. When they call on the land line, I just play it back to them (spoken by a woman with a very sexy voice.). Seems to work.

[Handyjack]

The last call I had I told them the truth. "I'm up a ladder hanging on and unless you are prepared for a law suit hang up now!" They got the message.

[Allan at Wallan]

As soon as I recognize the nature of the call I ask the person to hold the
line whilst I switch on my recorder. When I click my tongue loudly into the
phone it is amazing how many times they hang up immediately.

Works most of the time.

Allan

[KBs PensNmore]

Had to read it twice Allan, cos first time I read it, I thought it read "the call of nature, I ask the person to hold the line"
Kryn

[CAG]

Haven't any of you heard of the Do Not Call Register? I never get any unsolicited calls. However, I also don't get dirty Indian talk or any offers to "hold my line'....damn, I'm missing out!

[AlexS]

The DNC register doesn't work for these overseas scam-artists.

[Allan at Wallan]

Sure I have heard of it and registered (more than once).
The last time I registered it was supposed to be permanent and no
need to re-register again.
Doesn't matter - these pests get around it and perservere.

Allan

[cava]

We are on the 'do not call' register, and still get the calls.

If it is not the overseas solar panel sellers, it is the government trying to give me something that I do not want or charities wanting my hard earned.

To be honest, I wish they would just all go away!

[doug3030]

Upon identifying it as a telemarketer call (not difficult, apart from the telemarketers the only person who has the number is the girlfriends mother) I do this:

me: Can I have your card number please?

them: what card number is this being?

me: Your visa or mastercard of course.

them: Why is it that you would be wanting this?

me: for the $25 fee

them: what is this fee being for?

me: I cannot discuss anything until you pay the fee.


And it goes on like a Monty Python sketch until they hang up and put me on THEIR Do Not Call Register.

Try it some time - it really confuses them.

Cheers

Doug

[dextadog]

Best so far. May I have it?

[Bohdan]

That is a good one. I like it. However no grandkids so no 3 YO to give the phone to. :)

Here I get MANY calls trying to sell roof top solar panels. The theory is that what you don't pay for electricity you pay for the panels. I'll let them go through their spiel and finally they get to the "How much do you pay for electricity?" part. It usually goes like this:
M: "I don't know."
T: "How can you not know?"
M: "The landlord pays the electricity."
It is amazing how quickly they hang up. About one in 10 will apologize for bothering me. The theory is to waste as much of their time as possible.


I let them go thru their whole spiel, make the appointment for the rep to come and when he arrives show him my panels on the roof and ask if his are as good as mine. When they complain about me wasting their time I just say "My turn to waste yours".

[dextadog]

I keep them going, wait till they have finished the pitch then ask how they will fit their system with the other 16 panels already up there as the roof is not that big. What I would really like is they keep the phone connected while they tell the guy beside them what they think of Australians.

[suparat]

We get a lot at work & my favourite stunt is to work out on whose behalf they are calling. Then google their opposition & tell them them that I can't make those decisions, but Steve at (oppositions number) can.

[shootingarts]

Years ago I had a very busy auto-salvage on a four lane divided highway. A friend about fifteen miles away was retired with a little backyard business on a quiet two lane that might see a half dozen customers a week. Pushy salesmen came by my place by the dozen trying to sell me everything from ink pens to oil wells. My stock answer became, "I don't need one but Walter was telling me just the other day . . . " Directions to Walter and off they would go!

I toted a case or so of beer to Walter's place one or two evenings a week and spent a few hours with him. He was always talking about all the salesmen on the road, didn't see how they made a living. This went on about six months until a salesman came in one day, "I don't need one but Walter was just telling me . . ." The salesman got very hot under the collar. "He just sent me here!" I went into the office laughing and told the wife that game was over, Walter had figured it out.

Hu

[Tomislav]

My best ever one was in response to "your PC "and i went oohh I am so grateful you have called. and we went through the whole thing and what i needed to to do and how to do it..putting my best ever old folks voice on.. I took it all so slowly, my pc had to start up etc and I had to let it get going.. so more than a little time

and then I dropped it on him.. "what do you think we are all so stupid here..? "

Let's just say the language was not so since, and very ungentlemanly.. .

[John Saxton]

Made me spill my wine as the phone went right next to me ,suggested in NICE language what he could do with his phone .Don't know if it is a dark where he was calling from ,he'd need a torch to locate it if he took me up on my suggestion!