RETIRED
6th August 2005, 10:01 PM
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
1 : On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
2 : On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary, Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
3 : On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
4 : On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." , (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
5 : On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
6 : On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
7 : On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
8 : On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9 : On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
10: On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
11: On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
12: On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)
13: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
14: I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly." ( well Derrr! )
15: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
goods.
1 : On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
2 : On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary, Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
3 : On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
4 : On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." , (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
5 : On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
6 : On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
7 : On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
8 : On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
9 : On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
10: On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
11: On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
12: On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)
13: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
14: I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly." ( well Derrr! )
15: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)