The Official Cricket Thread

[Gumby]

Here it is, the place to put all your smart remarks and updates.

Currently, 0-18 off 4 overs and looking good.

hey JOW ?? You watching this ?? :D :D (you won't be for long, enjoy it while you can.
;)

[Clinton1]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z
Winter is supposed to see the back of cricket..... damn international competition.

[Zed]

ive quickly beeped past SBS a couple of times and suprised myself by almost falling asleep every time. what a waste of resources is cricket. stupid game cant even think of a new name for it - they had to pinch an insects name for it. Poor old MathewA at Biting Midges, hes probably nodding his head politely and and saying "uh huh, the stump is used to hit the googly whilst texting the pommie harlot on your spin bowlers mobile, right ?" - at the same time thinking "I gotta get me a new pad quick smart man...."

[Zed]

risky bisquit and that pommie git on the tube just said we've got 2 FRIKKIN MONTHS of cricket... Nooooo...... what about all me favourite shows ? Inspector rex, Iron chef & all those french booby movies??? where do I get me kulcha from now eh ????

sbs has got a lot to answer for, at least on kerry-vision you get the ad breaks to wake you up when they fill the sine wave with ad-crap.

[Zed]

you know why risky is still alive ? because the job he's got is the least stressful one on the known universe, the second least stressful job is the one held by the guy who sets the ciriculum at public high schools....

[Zed]

where did they drag out dean jones from ? did they need a professional crier on the panel ? and what about that bald fool ex-spin bowler (noooo... not warnie) that other twit.. whats his name ??? greg mathews; what value added service does he provide eh ? about as useful as a 12th man at a team photo...

[Zed]

and what about old trouser boy himself - shame worn - I reckon hes stretched a bit of skin by now eh.... lucky his wrist is well practiced with all his flippers and off-wrist spin...

[Zed]

isnt the captain supposed to be a tall bloke ? with hair ? and a 'stache ?

[Zed]

i'm glad the poms wont let you bring home the ashes - shows the futility of it all, they shoud just give up whilst theys ahead (if you can call it ahead)

douglas adams was right about cricket.

[Zed]

i'll get you for that gumbo ! :D

[Gumby]

You wouldn't be trying to hijack my cricket thread now would you ?? :D :D :D

C'mon people, i need help, it's the eternal struggle of good against evil :)

[ozwinner]

Zed.

Time for your nap old chap.
And dont forget to take your pills.

Al :)

[Zed]

isnt northern melbourne the cheap end of town oz ?

[ozwinner]

isnt northern melbourne the cheap end of town oz ?
Not at the moment it aint, it was when we bought here. :D

Al :)

[Pat]

As long as Mythbusters is on on Monday, the croquet can stay. Carn the Aussies!!! :)

[Zed]

i reckon cricket is for puftas/nancies/pretty boys/non simians that carnt play footy (go the Eels!)

[Zed]

As long as Mythbusters is on on Monday, the croquet can stay. Carn the Aussies!!! :)


i love myth busters - the blew up a concrete truck the other day, what a f eggsellent show - id rather watch two idiosyncratic san franciscans blow up sheet any day... :D come to think of it - i wish they'd blow up lords. :D

[Cliff Rogers]

Feeling better Zed???? :D

[Gumby]

that carnt play footy (go the Eels!)

Eels ??? They don't play footy! You can't seriously tell me that you consder that crap game footy :confused:

[Zed]

not until this thread is at least 17 pages long or 2 dreary cricket months have elapsed....

[Gumby]

It's alright, we're 4-78 and I've turned it off in disgust. I HATE CRICKET! :rolleyes:

[Zed]

Eels ??? They don't play footy! You can't seriously tell me that you consder that crap game footy :confused:


now now gumbo, this is "the official cricket thread - please stay on track, do NOT hijack your own thread... nasty man.

[Gumby]

It was worth a try but remember, I started it so I have the power to delete it :D One more bloody wicket and I just might :(

[DavidG]

What's cricket????????????? :confused:

[craigb]

Trying to get your "number of posts" counter up Zed?

Onto the Cricket.....

Which part of Flintoff's foot was behind the line on that ball that Langer got out to? Buy the bloody ump some glasses fercrisakes :)

Actually, boquets to the Pommy bowlers, they've bowled well, but brickbats to the Aussie batsmen :( Guys, It goes for 5 days!

[jow104]

It's alright, we're 4-78 and I've turned it off in disgust. I HATE CRICKET! :rolleyes:

There's worst to come. ;) ;) ;)

97 for 5

Anyone know how to build a monkey trap for that gorilla bloke ;)

[bitingmidge]

It's tea at the cricket and Gumby is logged off, obviously gone to the loo for a quick nervous vomit. She'll be right, it's only the first session, and Gilly's in.

But our Canadian guest was a bit bemused when I left the room with Straya on 87 'cause I couldn't watch what would happen, AND then some suckhole pom caught a ball which was intended for the boundary.... sigh!


why do they wear white when they always make it red around the crotch ????

Reminds them of the ape race from which we were evolved I s'pose, but surely you knew that Zed?

Cheers,

P
:D :D :D

[craigb]

Well Mr Gumby, if this is the Official cricket thread, how come I can't buy some limited edition piece of cheap crap for $500 unframed or $750 framed?

I think I haven't been had :confused:

[bitingmidge]

I've got two dumpers that I picked up outside Shane Warne's place that probably came from him emptying his car ashtray.

I'm thinking about framing them, what do you think they'd be worth on eBay??

P
:confused:

[bitingmidge]

We interrupt this thread to bring ou an update:

13:55 - Lead Over Five Minutes
The peloton is at the 73km mark. It is being led by the Discovery Channel team. The deficit to the 10 escapees is 5’15".

P

[jow104]

It's tea at the cricket and Gumby is logged off, obviously gone to the loo for a quick nervous vomit. She'll be right, it's only the first session, and Gilly's in.

But our Canadian guest was a bit bemused when I left the room with Straya on 87 'cause I couldn't watch what would happen, AND then some suckhole pom caught a ball which was intended for the boundary.... sigh!


Reminds them of the ape race from which we were evolved I s'pose, but surely you knew that Zed?

Cheers,

P
:D :D :D

Midge it's much worst than that. It's not tea, but lunch (only two hours play).

[AlexS]

We interrupt this thread to bring ou an update:

13:55 - Lead Over Five Minutes
The peloton is at the 73km mark. It is being led by the Discovery Channel team. The deficit to the 10 escapees is 5’15".

P
Thanks for a bit of interesting sport

[E. maculata]

I reckon the game is all screwed, two wooden clubs and 6 sharpened sticks it's obviously a deathsport in waiting, and that's the thing about cricket the gawddarned inactivity, sleeping is far more productive & exciting IMO
I'm with the graped ape on this one.

[Gumby]

It's picture time and here's our offer of me scoring 100 at Lords tomorrow (second innings).

I only have 500 signed copies at $595 each or you can pay in 4 easy installments of $120.

Just PM me your credit card details and I'll certainly send you one :rolleyes:

[jow104]

It would have been a good day, but have you heard there have been 4 more bombs on the transport system again in London today. (not so serious this time )

[Ashore]

This is suppose to be a 5 day game

I think we will wrap it up in three

England 3 for 18 and counting


Zed
Go the Eels what just like they did in 2001 and every other year smith has coached them . I'de rather watch cricket than see that much talent wasted year in and year out.






Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

[bitingmidge]

Midge it's much worst than that.

Well said!

:D :D :D :D :D :D

P

[Gingermick]

As long as Mythbusters is on on Monday,
I was looking for that in the TV guide yesterday and it wasn't there. :(

[Gingermick]

$595 each or you can pay in 4 easy installments of $120.
Can I get a refund of the $595 after I've made the 4 paymens of $120 if I change my mind?

[Pat]

Mick, thanks for the bad news. Hopefully the croqet does not go for the five days and normal programming can resume . . . :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: No Mythbusters would make the idiot box totally unworthy of existence!

[Zed]

so the aussies collapsed as did the poms after them... why did they bother ?

[bitingmidge]

Mythbusters is not in the programme guide because test matches are scheduled to run five days (or is it still six in England with a rest day?).

Don't be concerned.

The other Myth that will be well and truly shattered in time for SBS to resume normal programming, is that the Poms have a snowflakes chance of surviving more than three days.

Cheers,

P (Sorry jow, didn't know you were reading this thread!)
:D

[silentC]

Who needs SBS anyway? Give it back to Zeddy and his mates so they can get their jollies. I'm watching it on FOX2 :p

Ooh ah, Glen McGrath :D:D:D`

[Iain]

Can I get a refund of the $595 after I've made the 4 paymens of $120 if I change my mind?
Only on the frame, which I believe is a preserved monkey rectum :rolleyes:

[Gumby]

so the aussies collapsed as did the poms after them... why did they bother ?

because they collapse much better than we do (why did I turn it of ???) :mad:

7-92 :D :D :D

:rolleyes:

[Gumby]

Only on the frame, which I believe is a preserved monkey rectum :rolleyes:


frame ?? did you say frame ? This is a woodworking forum, go out and make your own ! :D :D

Refund Policy : Should the supplier be satisfied that the purchaser is not happy with the product, a peroid of 30 days shall apply, after which the 31st day will follow.

(sounds fair to me) ;)

[jow104]

Well, well, well. :confused:

I honestly think they should now consider extending the length from 22yds to 25yds bowlers are getting much higher speeds and accuracy these days.
I said earlier this year 2 / 3 days would be enough.

[Iain]

Could just go metric and make 22 metres ;)

[jow104]

Could just go metric and make 22 metres ;)

Very smart Iain.

66" extra should do the trick.

[Gingermick]

Could just go metric and make 22 metres ;)
Decimalisation is the work of the Devil.

[Daddles]

Decimalisation is the work of the Devil.

Just goes to show he's not all bad :D

Richard

[Ashore]

If Jesus had wanted us to go Decimal he would have only had 10 disciples




The trouble with life is there's no background music.

[Gingermick]

Doesn't explain sixteenths




Then there are those of us without opposable thumbs,

[ozwinner]

JC only had 4 digits on each hand/foot.
He was/is an alien.
Wear the foil, wear the foil.

Al :D

[Gingermick]

Then they weren't digits. :D

[Iain]

Very smart Iain.

66" extra should do the trick.
I was only thinking near enough is good enough, and who would really notice the shortfall, as long as the magical 22 is still there no one would really know.
Anyway a metre is only a metric yard :p or is it a yard is only an imperial metre :confused:
Oh sod it, I don't even follow cricket anyway, Tally Ho, there goes the red bastard (fox hunt oz style) :rolleyes:
Don't get upset, I don't want to be responsible for another heart attack :D
(Trust all is going well too, cheers)

[jow104]

You aussies are being very cagey. Don't you want to forecast the match?

[Gumby]

You aussies are being very cagey. Don't you want to forecast the match?

OK, the forecast is:

Poms : nil

McGrath 11

:D :D :D

[Iain]

What a great system we have, I have not been naturalised (which my young brother always thought was being circumcised) so I have been excluded from the electoral role, I served in the RAAF, in bloody Vietnam, still no vote, received a valour citation for above and beyond thecall of duty, from the Governor General and in the grouinds of Government House, full media coverage, still no rights, I'm just a Pommy Bastard in the Governments eyes.
T E F E :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Gumby]

What a great system we have, I have not been naturalised (which my young brother always thought was being circumcised) so I have been excluded from the electoral role, I served in the RAAF, in bloody Vietnam, still no vote, received a valour citation for above and beyond thecall of duty, from the Governor General and in the grouinds of Government House, full media coverage, still no rights, I'm just a Pommy Bastard in the Governments eyes.
T E F E :mad: :mad: :mad:


maybe taking off the kilt will help ;) ;)

[Iain]

Send money and I can organise a private exhibition (won't take long though ;) )
Och, it's gruesome, touch it again lassie, it's just gruesome more, won't work for you though Mr G (unless you have a soft touch :rolleyes: )

[jow104]

OK, the forecast is:

Poms : nil

McGrath 11

:D :D :D

Oddly enough my mothers' brother in law was a McGrath, he was a bit hyper as well.

[Gumby]

Oddly enough .

All Poms are odd, it goes without saying :D

You'll be all out before 110

[ozwinner]

Send money and I can organise a private exhibition (won't take long though ;) )
Och, it's gruesome, touch it again lassie, it's just gruesome more, won't work for you though Mr G (unless you have a soft touch :rolleyes: )
Funny F(!)cker...

Al :D :p

[Iain]

Was that an offer Al?????

[ozwinner]

Was that an offer Al?????
Send picture of yourself, and bank details.

Al :cool:

[Iain]

:p

[ozwinner]

Sorry, its all off.

I dont like your tartan....:(

Al :p

[Gumby]

Well, at the end of the England innings, the Aussies lead by 35

That's plenty ;)

[jow104]

:p

Slight correction to your picture Iain.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v330/devonwoody/iainweb.jpg

Thanks for the score Gumby, I reckon we are as bad as each other :D

[AlexS]

Then they weren't digits. :D

Four on each hand...they'd have been octits :D

Think metric, it's a dozen times easier.

[jow104]

Four on each hand...they'd have been octits :D

Think metric, it's a dozen times easier.

Sorry to spoil the fun Alexs,

I reckon octi

[boban]

Well Mr Gumby, if this is the Official cricket thread, how come I can't buy some limited edition piece of cheap crap for $500 unframed or $750 framed?

I think I haven't been had :confused:
I didn't know the Triton came framed...:D

[himzol]

i reckon cricket is for puftas/nancies/pretty boys/non simians that carnt play footy (go the Eels!)

Hey ZEd,

I would have thought a good Croat boy would be looking at "real" football, i.e. the round ball? It's easier for a simian to handle as well.

Anywho... with a lead of 38 and finally batting sensibly it should be over by the time the Mythbusters come on again.

goto go they are back from lunch.../


Himzo.

[boban]

Good croat boys enjoy both...go the eels

[Gingermick]

Sorry to spoil the fun Alexs,

I reckon octi
Octit being the singular.

[boban]

Octit being the singular.
What then is/are Octits?

[fxst]

Good croat boys enjoy both...go the eels

Jellied, pickled or fried? and do you want pancakes with that?? :D :D
Pete

[jow104]

What's the score :D :D :D :D

[Grunt]

3 for 177. 213+ runs in front.

Fri Jul 22 14:48:54 2005 UTC

[Daddles]

maybe taking off the kilt will help ;) ;)
SHREEEEEEK

[Daddles]

I don't know whether it's the Bundy, the cricket or the incipient old bugga's disease, but I've completely lost the sense of this thread. Would a new foilie work better or do I just need to spend twice what I can afford on planes :confused:

Richard

make that a hundred times what I can afford on planes - at the moment, even the el cheapo block plane that Bunnies sells is out of my reach :( but it's okay, I'm going fishing tomorrow ... err ... today :rolleyes:

[Gumby]

7/279 at stumps........lead 314

Ah the sweet smell of impending victory. :D

[Gingermick]

What then is/are Octits?
One eighth of 8

[Iain]

Or what my dog has.
By the way, how many stumps/wickets to a goal :confused:

[la Huerta]

sbs is the only station worth watching , inspector rex being my favourite...now what am i going to do, now it's been taken over by a bunch of guys standing around in the sun all day trying to see who can hit a little red ball harder and who is the bravest to catch it...thank god for woodworking...

[Iain]

I saw Marcel Marceau (sp) on SBS once, but as I don't speak French, I didn't understand :D

[AlexS]

Pity about SBS reducing their coverage of the world's greatest cycling race to show two teams in a competition to see who can get out quickest, in a game that can go for 5 days and still not have a result.

[Gingermick]

They're stumped when they have to think of a goal that doesn't include debauchery near a White picket fence maybe??

[Gumby]

I saw Marcel Marceau (sp) on SBS once, but as I don't speak French, I didn't understand :D

me either, I just read the sub titles :D

[Gumby]

hahaha, hey John, why don't you guys get a proper keeper :D :D

This is looking good ;)

[Grunt]

Didn't cost all that much. Still a lead of 390+ is going to be hard.

[jow104]

I think the English captain overdid it allowing 7 catches to be dropped
perhaps the next match he will make things a bit tougher for you. ;)

[vsquizz]

England provided stout resistance to begin with, but the Australian attack had left their hopes of saving or even winning the first Ashes Test in tatters when bad light brought day three to a close with the home side at 5 for 156 - still 264 runs shy of victory - at Lord's.


Cheers

[Gingermick]

So how much is Brett Lee allowed to 'flex' his elbow these days?

[Studley 2436]

So how much is Brett Lee allowed to 'flex' his elbow these days?
Have to have a chucker's thread running too. Why can't they leave the power with the Umpire. If he says so then it is and no arguements.

You notice that to see straightening of the elbow they used a very high speed camera and even then the results were not conclusive, more of a could be than a is.

Studley

[Gingermick]

more of a could be than a is.
Studley
I feel the same way about some people I know

[jow104]

I don't think you will beat us at the first test, today, we have substituted one of our team, take a look at this.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v330/devonwoody/2005_0724weather.jpg

His name is weather. :D :D

[Gumby]

I'd love to know how many times that has saved you before. Lot's I bet :(

[craigb]

Don't worry Gumby, they'll all be gibbering headcases by the time this tour is over.
Just like Atherton and Hussein were.

Anyway, we probably only need one more session to knock them off. Surely it's possible to get one session in over the next two days?

Hmm, maybe God is an Englishman after all. :D