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KBs PensNmore
11th June 2015, 03:19 PM
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These glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

"That depends, Sir, "said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."

-Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

-Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

-Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

-Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."

-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

-Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

-Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

-Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

- Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

-Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

-Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

-Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."



-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

-Billy Wilder


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."



-Groucho Marx







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CAG
11th June 2015, 07:44 PM
Absolutely wonderful!

You deserve a :brava and a :clap2: and a :thewave:

fenderbelly
12th June 2015, 10:45 AM
There are always times in life when you wish you could say something similar.

Ozkaban
12th June 2015, 04:10 PM
I love those old quotes. After all "The future ain't what it used to be."
Yogi Berra.

Simplicity
12th June 2015, 06:01 PM
Wonderful

chambezio
12th June 2015, 06:40 PM
Golden Oldies. I wish I could remember those one liners during an argument!!

A Duke
12th June 2015, 06:49 PM
"Half the members of this house are idiots"

"Objection! Withdraw!, Withdraw!!.

"All right I will withdraw that statement. Half the members of this house are not idiots."

AlexS
13th June 2015, 09:53 AM
"The honorable member has the brains of an ass."
"Objection!"
"I withdraw. The honorable member does not have the brains of an ass."

ian
13th June 2015, 01:58 PM
"Sir! You are drunk!"

"Madam. In the morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly."

Tonyz
13th June 2015, 06:32 PM
"Sir! You are drunk!"

"Madam. In the morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill.


Price Phillip.... I love this idiot.
"If it doesn't fart or eat hay then she isn't interested"
- speaking about his daughter, Princess Anne.

"Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."
- to a 13-year-old whilst visiting a space shuttle.


When meeting a 60-year-old disabled man: "How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?" David Miller, a trustee of the Valentine Mansion in Redbridge, said he took no offence.


To Australian Aborigines during a visit to Australia with the Queen he asked: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"

Boringgeoff
14th June 2015, 09:44 AM
I stuck up for you at the pub yesterday, a bloke said you've got the brains of an ant, I said " no you haven't". Then he said you didn't know f*** all, I said "yes you do!'

Sawdust Maker
14th June 2015, 09:51 AM
The honourable member is an annelid

Ozkaban
14th June 2015, 02:22 PM
I stuck up for you at the pub yesterday, a bloke said you've got the brains of an ant, I said " no you haven't". Then he said you didn't know f*** all, I said "yes you do!'

My brother once said to my uncle some time back.
"I stuck up for you the other day. That guy said you weren't worth p**sing on. I said you're wrong. He is!"

rwbuild
14th June 2015, 03:11 PM
You can agree with me or choose to be wrong, your choice.

rustynail
14th June 2015, 06:55 PM
Graceful as the bird they call the Elephant.

Bedford
15th June 2015, 09:01 AM
Righto Fellas, please keep it family friendly..................