Cotton on.

[Allan at Wallan]

I was trying to think up a joke about "cotton".

S'pose I could look up some old threads and
needle it into this section but you would only
call me a "sew and sew".

Allan

[wheelinround]

Oh bud out
That was rotten
we shall all scour at you
you need to be carded, spun round the twist and ply a new joke.

[KBs PensNmore]

I don't think I could "Cotton on to that one"
You must be getting desperate to put something here.
I could put plenty here, but I don't want to get banned and miss the friendly banter that goes on here.:D

[Allan at Wallan]

I don't think I could "Cotton on to that one"
You must be getting desperate to put something here.
I could put plenty here, but I don't want to get banned and miss the friendly banter that goes on here.:D


Quote: "You must be getting desperate to put something here"

No, just trying to put a smile on the dial on any member
who needs to cheer up. There is too much bad news in
the world and I look forward to the "friendly banter" that
exists on this Forum.

Allan

[Larks]

hmmmm.....interesting thread........:wink:

[wheelinround]

Shame you can't reel more in Alan or are the bobbin around elsewhere in cyberspace :p

[doug3030]

I was trying to think up a joke about "cotton".

But try as you might you couldn't help weaving your warped sense of humor into it, could you?

Cheers

Doug

[A Duke]

If this goes on much longer you will have me in stitches.
:wink:

[Carry Pine]

I thought all the good yarns were in that other thread?

Graham

[Opelblues2]

what in the cotton fields back home

[fenderbelly]

You must be getting desperate to put something here.





Don't let him needle you Allan, he's just being darn cheeky I think.lol

[KBs PensNmore]

You must be getting desperate to put something here.





Don't let him needle you Allan, he's just being darn cheeky I think.lol

Yep, you're right there, about me being cheeky. Just woke up to the fact that you're DARN right I'm NEEDLING Allan :D
Actually I'm thinking of changing my name to Fuller
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Crap

:DKryn

[Bob38S]

And here was me thinking that it was a bolt ​out of the blue.

[The Bleeder]

And here was me thinking that it was a bolt ​out of the blue.

Nah...just trying to spin a good yarn :B

[Sawdust Maker]

what is the needlepoint of all this?

[Bob38S]

Just adding to the tapestry of life or is that really just another stitch in time.

[Tritonitis]

I think i need a gin after reading this...

Made myself giggle, if you don't get it search for "cotton gin"...

[CAG]

I think i need a gin after reading this...

Made myself giggle, if you don't get it search for "cotton gin"...



Yes, we got it.

Looking at the latest jokes on here, it has me wondering what is looming on the horizon...

[wheelinround]

Its good to see Alan isn't the only one with a warped sense of humour and as he hasn't come back has he weft the building :p

[Bob38S]

I thought I could hear the opening line of "Dixie's Land" when I opened this thread.

I could be mistaken as it could have been "Knights in White Satin".

But, then again, I think I'll stick to denim or was that "Denim and Lace".

Perhaps the whole thing has just been crocheted together.

[Sawdust Maker]

Should take the pinking shears to this thread

[Sawdust Maker]

would it be a horse joke if it was named fine ...

[Carry Pine]

I'm out! I've run out of material on this one.

CP

[doug3030]

I'm out! I've run out of material on this one.

CP

Well I guess that pretty much sews it up :2tsup:

Doug

[wheelinround]

you kidding me thats a worsted effort if ever I've seemed one.

That means this will be a short thread its a wonder it hasn't been pulled already I wonder what Jenny would think of it let alone the cotton picking harvesters they might just bail up and hand over to the bleachers who'll dye laughing due to such a coloured thread.

[CAG]

you kidding me thats a worsted effort if ever I've seemed one.

That means this will be a short thread its a wonder it hasn't been pulled already I wonder what Jenny would think of it let alone the cotton picking harvesters they might just bail up and hand over to the bleachers who'll dye laughing due to such a coloured thread.

bale, not bail

[Carry Pine]

bale, not bail

Let's not be nit picking about spelling when there's all that unpicking to do on this thread.

CP

[Bob38S]

Did you hear about the Singer who sang "Janome?"

I said Yep, you are Bernina's Brother who used to ride a Husqvarna.

He said that's right but in those days I was only Pfaffing around on the road to ​Elna.

[wheelinround]

bale, not bail

In Alan's case its bail he should be arrested

[Carry Pine]

Darn it! C'mon guys, mend your ways. The thread is getting patchy and off topic.

CP

[CAG]

Sorry guys. I didn't mean to needle anyone. I'll reel it in from ray on, I mean now on. Man....that fabric pun was a stretch.

[Bob38S]

Pleased about that as I thought you might have been trying to stitch us up.

[Christos]

This thread just continues to spin out of control.

[Larks]

This thread just continues to spin out of control.


sew it seams!!

[Allan at Wallan]

Well how about that !

After all the absolutely great jokes that appear on here (at times)
I put this stupid one on and suddenly things come to life.

Thank you all for providing some light, ok - very light relief.

Well done.


:clap:

Allan

[Bob38S]

Yep. All of the contributions above certainly indicate that "We are cut from a different and interesting cloth."

[labr@]

This thread just continues to spin out of control.

I think she's over - lock 'er 😃

[Uncle Al]

Well how about that !

After all the absolutely great jokes that appear on here (at times)
I put this stupid one on and suddenly things come to life.

Thank you all for providing some light, ok - very light relief.

Well done.


:clap:

Allan

I thought you might have been getting the 'sheets' about the way this thread has been twisted:D.

Alan...

[wheelinround]

Well Alan you have out done yourself this time haven't you after all these years finally.

You can rest easy and bless your cotton socks, jocks and take out the intestinal knots.


Ps I wonder how many hits this thread now gets via web searches for the store Cotton On

[KBs PensNmore]

Thanks everyone, the comments have had me in stitches. For a bunch of blokes, I'm amazed at the learned vocabulary on cotton and mending etc. or have you been asking the other halves for the words.:2tsup: Some of the words I've never heard of in the context.
Kryn

[doug3030]

For a bunch of blokes, I'm amazed at the learned vocabulary on cotton and mending etc. or have you been asking the other halves for the words.

I am surprised that you are amazed. To me it just reinforces what I have already seen - A hell of a lot of woodies have partners who are also involved in the creative arts. I have met a lot of woodies whose partners are into spinning, weaving, quilting, knitting crochet etc.

Just quietly, I think these "crafty" ladies actively seek us woodies so that they have someone who can make their accessories for them, and we have the long rulers, squares etc and a good eye to help them out when they need it with cutting out and preparing fabric etc.

My wife, when she was alive, used to buy raw fleeces, card and spin the wool, ply it and knit it into clothing. At one stage we owned an angora goat and got a shearer to shear it twice a year (I think). Once when the shearer was unexpectedly unavailable she sheared it herself with the kitchen scissors! The goat looked a mess but she had plenty of fleece to work with until the next shearing.

During one of my army postings we were living two doors down from a lady with a huge loom in her loungeroom. Naturally my wife befriended her and before you know it I am flat out repairing looms and making accessories for the local spinners and weavers group.

My current girlfriend is mad on crochet and quilting. She has been a spinner in the past and wants to get back into it and has just joined the spinners and weavers group.

I have restrained myself from posting references to heddles, beaters, castles and jacks and I shudder to think what you would have thought about ratchet dogs. I might have passed in on a few good lines but it kept the thread enjoyable for everyone.

Anyway, it has been my experience that the "crafty" ladies without a "crafty" partner are very envious of the ladies that have one.

Cheers

Doug

[wheelinround]

I am surprised that you are amazed. To me it just reinforces what I have already seen - A hell of a lot of woodies have partners who are also involved in the creative arts. I have met a lot of woodies whose partners are into spinning, weaving, quilting, knitting crochet etc.

Just quietly, I think these "crafty" ladies actively seek us woodies so that they have someone who can make their accessories for them, and we have the long rulers, squares etc and a good eye to help them out when they need it with cutting out and preparing fabric etc.

My wife, when she was alive, used to buy raw fleeces, card and spin the wool, ply it and knit it into clothing. At one stage we owned an angora goat and got a shearer to shear it twice a year (I think). Once when the shearer was unexpectedly unavailable she sheared it herself with the kitchen scissors! The goat looked a mess but she had plenty of fleece to work with until the next shearing.

During one of my army postings we were living two doors down from a lady with a huge loom in her loungeroom. Naturally my wife befriended her and before you know it I am flat out repairing looms and making accessories for the local spinners and weavers group.

My current girlfriend is mad on crochet and quilting. She has been a spinner in the past and wants to get back into it and has just joined the spinners and weavers group.

I have restrained myself from posting references to heddles, beaters, castles and jacks and I shudder to think what you would have thought about ratchet dogs. I might have passed in on a few good lines but it kept the thread enjoyable for everyone.

Anyway, it has been my experience that the "crafty" ladies without a "crafty" partner are very envious of the ladies that have one.

Cheers

Doug

Doug its like reaading my own story except no goat, no military just lots of fibre. Keep up the good work. I had not considered baffling these poor felloes with the parts of looms & wheels :p fearing many would beat a hasty retreat.:;

[doug3030]

I had not considered baffling these poor felloes with the parts of looms & wheels :p fearing many would beat a hasty retreat.:;

Yes, Thats why I didn't get into those parts either. I remembered something I posted in the jokes forum a couple of years back that most people understood but quite a few did not. It was about binary notation. A lot of members responded with similar jokes of their own and those who only knew of base 10 were getting very agitated and thought it was a conspiracy against them. It got to the stage I was receiving threatening emails and PM's. I don't want to go back there again. :D

Cheers

Doug

[A Duke]

Yes, Thats why I didn't get into those parts either. I remembered something I posted in the jokes forum a couple of years back that most people understood but quite a few did not. It was about binary notation. A lot of members responded with similar jokes of their own and those who only knew of base 10 were getting very agitated and thought it was a conspiracy against them. It got to the stage I was receiving threatening emails and PM's. I don't want to go back there again. :D

Cheers

Doug
Some people have a sense of humour, others their sense is just a rumour.
:peepwall:

P/s That's 10 choices.

[KBs PensNmore]

Yes I know what you mean about crafty partners, mine is into felting both wet and needle also does paintings with it, art painting various mediums, use to make dolls, bears etc, also tried card making. She also had friends that do felting also, so there were quite a few things done there also, as well as lace making bobbins, lace bobbin earrings, hat stands and blocks.
I've made her art easel, various felting tools, and little accessories for her felted bears, billy cart, wheel barrow, banjo.
Kryn

[Carry Pine]

Originally Posted by wheelinround http://d1r5wj36adg1sk.cloudfront.net/images/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://www.woodworkforums.com/showthread.php?p=1840630#post1840630) I had not considered baffling these poor felloes with the parts of looms & wheels http://d1r5wj36adg1sk.cloudfront.net/images/smilies/tongue.gif fearing many would beat a hasty retreat.http://d1r5wj36adg1sk.cloudfront.net/images/smilies/mf_wink.gif

..........and I guess they would be leaving on a flying shuttle?

CP

[Bob38S]

I had not considered baffling these poor felloes with the parts of looms & wheels :p fearing many would beat a hasty retreat.:;

I agree, it could have even been interpreted as a bit of a wet blanket.

[Carry Pine]

Want some heart-felt, homespun advice?
What's with you woodworkers doing a rollover to the darkside of sewing all in a whorl?
Eider- down tools (maybe not the drill) and take up needlework, or show some fibre and go back to the work bench where you belong.

CP

[Bob38S]

I suppose, not wishing to embroider an already long thread, we could just be classed as coming from a darn patchwork of backgrounds.

[labr@]

Want some heart-felt, homespun advice?

Was that homespun intended?

[CAG]

And I thought I was stretching!?!

[AlexS]

This whole thread has me reeling!

[rwbuild]

Darned if I know whats going on here but I fear some that something is looming up ahead

[popawisky]

Banter????? As has been mentioned it is known as needling. Come on guys let's see eye to eye