the worst woodworking day or dumbest thing you have done

[doug the slug]

ok, just reading a few recent posts on this site has inspired me to post a forum to find out just how cruel murphy can be to us woodies. i am inviting everyone to post details of their worst day or moment they would rather forget in the workshop. i chose the hints and tips forum so that we might be able to save someone else from the same grief.

to get the ball rolling, heres my most embarrasing moment in woodworking:

I am renovating my old queenslander and decided i needed a triton workcentre 2000 to make life easier. being a single man (now with a g/f) since my wife died unexpectedly just over 3 years ago, i decided to set up the workshop in the dining room as the plan was to renovate the bedrooms, bathroom kitchen then dining room last, better than cuting downstairs and carting up all the time!

I got my brand new triton workcentre home and was setting it up, having a great time, did the main chassis and the saw, everything was set up far more more accurately than i thought possible. the maxi extension table was perfect, next thing is the router table.
i set up my faithful old makita 3600br router in the table and decided to run a piece of timber through it.

now im quite experienced with a hand held router , and of course i didnt read all the instructions (who does) but i never thought about the router bit rotating in the opposite direction in the inverted position. naturally i assumed that you moved the fence back to support the back of the timber and proceeded to feed a piece of 35 x 70 sized pine stud about a metre long through the cutter . after all the arrows did point that way.

well, imagine my horror as the stock was ripped from my hands and i glance up from the table to see it heading straight down the dining room directly at my dear departed wifes precious sewing machine!!!

The gods must have been smiling on me as there was a buiscuit tin infront of the sewing machine motor and it took the brunt of the impact.

well,i learnt a lot from that experience, i just cant remember what it was i learnt.


if you have a similar story post it here, we might be able to save someone else from doing similar

DOug

[Jack E]

I am renovating my old queenslander and decided i needed a triton workcentre 2000 to make life easier.

Doug,

You could have stopped right there, that was a pretty emabarrasing confession :D :D :D

Just kidding Triton owners, just kidding :) :) :)

Jack.

[doug the slug]

ok jack, i didnt start this forum to justify my decision to buy a triton and if the thread is hijacked, i dont care. but weould you be able to carty a tablesaw around the where the work is when building wardrobes into the house or would you be forced to go to the workshop to recut every piece that needed a mm cuting off?

im happy with my triton, which i can take from place to place instead of a table saw which youcan wheel around the workshop if you ar elucky

btw jack, i do recognise that as humour, and i tried to send you a greenie but i cant cos i sent you one the other day, but i will send you one as soon as the system allows, thanks for contributing, but tell us what your most embarrasing moment was

[Jack E]

It would probably be easier to tell you of the non embarrasing moments :)

Ok, how about this one.
I have been building a built in wardrobe in the master bed room for quite some time now.
As I am only home 1 week out of 3 these things take time.
It is almost complete now, only the doors to go as I finisfed the shelves recently, which is where the embarresment comes in.
Bear in mind that a friend of ours had us over the night before to drink her ex husbands red wine collection, 11 bottles between 5 of us.
I measured the shelves at 377mm wide and locked that number in to memory.
I then went downstairs to the TS (perhaps if I had a triton which I was able to use upstairs this mistake would not have occurred :D :D :D )
Once downstairs I wrote the measurement down so I wouldn't forget it.
I then proceeded to cut the 12 shelves required.
This complete I went back upstairs and drilled and fitted the shelf pins.
I then grabbed the 12 shelves to fit them in to the cupboard only to find they were 40mm narrower than what was required.
I measured and checked a few times and then went back downstairs (once again, something I would not need to do if I had a triton :D :D :D ). I checked the fence setting and it was at 337mm, not the 377mm required. I then checked the measurement I had written down, again 337mm, 40mm short.

Somehow, even though I measured more than twice, I had lost 40mm of measurement walking down the stairs.
I then went to bunnies, spent another $80 on melamine and started again, all went okay this time.

Jack

[routermaniac]

I have also made a similar stuffup when I was making an almost 2m long bookcase and cut the last shelf 20mm shorter (the Triton didnt save me here ;) ). It was very annoying as it was a public holliday and Bunnies were closed :mad: .

Another one... When I was making canopy windows for our weatherboard home... Here I was at the last canopy and I cut the top brace almost 80mm short :eek: . Luckily by then I had started to account for my errors by buying extra wood, so it wasnt a disaster.

Lastly, also did the router thing with my first homemade router table, the missile was luckily only a 30cm piece of pine which disintegrated on impact with the opposing wall :D . Tell you what, never made THAT mistake again...

[doug the slug]

[QUOTE=routermaniac] It was very annoying as it was a public holliday and Bunnies were closed :mad: .

[QUOTE]
http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon14.gif
up here they open longer on long weekendshttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon14.gif

[Harry72]

"the worst woodworking day or dumbest thing you have done"

Putting a large overweight lockmitre bit in my router table without changing the speed setting too lowest... almost killed my table router(3612c mak), it vibrated enough to shake one of the electrical connectors off the motor which then went on too hit the brushes contact area arcing and pitting the hell out of it... luckly there was enough meat left on the contact area to clean up with some W&D with the stator assembley spun in my cordless drill and for safety the connectors are now soldered on!
I dont use that bit anymore as now its out of balance(bent the 1/2" shaft I think)

[la Huerta]

ok here is an icebreaker...it's not woodworking but it is a classic...the other day i went to pick up a washing machine that i got via ebay, put the machine in the ute as normal but did i put a rope around the top and did i face the machine backwards , no of course not why would i do such a smart thing like that, oh , and it was a really really windy day, driving down the road , almost home i here a sudden noise , sounded like metal hitting the road, looks ok in the back , must have just been something on the road, got home and went to show of the great machine i got and crickey! where is the lid gone ??? it won't work without the lid, oh so that's what that noise was on the road , the bloody lid flying away! i drove back to that spot and there it was , lucky it was metal , and not a ding on it, not even a tyre tread...make sure you rope down your stuff on a windy day, even a small lid could become a dangerous object, luckily there was no one driving behind me at the time...

[Zed]

i got drunk and fell asleep in a wheelbarrow once. my mates filled it up with sand then water. that was a fun night...

[vsquizz]

i got drunk and fell asleep in a wheelbarrow once. my mates filled it up with sand then water. that was a fun night...
So thats where the term "drunk as a monkey" came from.

Cheers

[AlexS]

i got drunk and fell asleep in a wheelbarrow once. my mates filled it up with sand then water. that was a fun night...

They were obviously interrupted before they could put the cement in :D

[HavinaGo]

Beside the 1 inch too short on the specially rebated piece of timber covering the edge of the melamine (cut at 20.5" instead of 21.5") on the new laundry cupboard, there is the hole in the wall.

Last weekend I finally got around to removing half a brick to let the drain out from the new laundry trough. A series of holes worked a treat and out came half a brick with a couple of smacks with the hammer. Then I look and think and conclude .. "It'll be neater if I put the trough drain hole 2 brick courses higher. I'll use that other hole for the floor watse." So off I go drilling holes to remove another half brick. BUT this one did not want to shift as easily and then I looked behind it ..

:eek:

The water pipes to the trough were on the inside of the wall and there was no way a drain was going to get past them let alone the piece of brick.

So 2 holes in the wall :o

... time for a cuppa.

Fortunatley I did not have a fountain.

[DavidG]

Triton saw table, piece of wood, kickback, window. Nuf said. :eek: :o

[Eastie]

Front door (including jamb).replacement on a sunday morning......

http://www.ubeaut.biz/idea.gifTaking old door out and jamb out I decide it would be quicker to leave the door in the jamb and remove it all intact - surely it would save time as the screw heads on the hinges were painted over. Whilst cutting the last of the nails holding the door and jamb in place, the jamb tilted and the door slammed shut on my thumb - to cap it off lock engaged (there's the dumbest things covered) http://www.ubeaut.biz/crying.gif. Managed to open door one handed with wrecking bar, door and jamb fall out of opening on the ground (as a result of a well wound up poke with a steel cap boot). Off to hospital with a bag of frozen peas wrapped around my now purple and bleeding thumb - minus any security for the house as the front door is sitting on the floor - tools strewn everywhere. I'm hoping robbers don't work on sundays. Thumb nail removed, thumb wrapped and splinted in case it's broken (no radiologist on at the time) pain killers administered.

Get home about an hour later, realise that I must be at work tomorow so I have to install the new door jam, hinges, door, lockset .... before tonight otherwise no front door. Any time my thumb touches anything there's either tears, swearing or both.

Having an injury is one thing - having to come back and complete the job in pain is pure evil http://www.ubeaut.biz/fireface.gif


...I'd rather be lucky than skilful...

[ozwinner]

I beg to differ Mr Eastie

This is the silliest thing you have done.
http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/showthread.php?t=9422&highlight=eastie+sander

Al :D

[MajorPanic]

Dropping a UK Stanley #4 that had just been fettled & breaking the toe off the sole.......

& then, on the same day.....


Vertically dropping an 1921 #7 that was in MINT condition onto the concrete floor & busting out the throat of said plane.........

I almost gave up woodworking that day!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

but I decided to stay with it & see what else I could stuff up!! ;) :D :D :D

[Auld Bassoon]

Dropping a UK Stanley #4 that had just been fettled & breaking the toe off the sole.......

& then, on the same day.....


Vertically dropping an 1921 #7 that was in MINT condition onto the concrete floor & busting out the throat of said plane.........

I almost gave up woodworking that day!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

but I decided to stay with it & see what else I could stuff up!! ;) :D :D :D
MP That's a Major (nay! General) Boofhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

I don't suppose that the fact that LNs (especially) and LVs, being made of ductile iron, would have made any differencehttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon11.gif as they are supposed to withstand this sort of *abuse*

I know it doesn't help, and yoy have my commiserations mate, c'est une grande merde!http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon9.gif

Any chance of a repair?

At least you're still in the game, and that's the main thinghttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

Cheers!

[MajorPanic]

MP That's a Major (nay! General) Boofhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

I don't suppose that the fact that LNs (especially) and LVs, being made of ductile iron, would have made any differencehttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon11.gif as they are supposed to withstand this sort of *abuse*

I know it doesn't help, and yoy have my commiserations mate, c'est une grande merde!http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon9.gif

Any chance of a repair?

At least you're still in the game, and that's the main thinghttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

Cheers!
Sorry to say Steve, both were beyond repair........ I almost cried!!!! :mad:

[Auld Bassoon]

Sorry to say Steve, both were beyond repair........ I almost cried!!!! :mad:Damn and Blast I say !

What a buggerhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon9.gif

Does SWMBO know? Is it possible that a Major(!) wail will overcome predjudice, and provide a plausible reason to introduce your c. card to LN?http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon12.gif

Good luck
Cheers!

[MajorPanic]

I consoled myself by finding another Stanley #7 although it was a US model & needed a fair bit of work.
LN has got my CC details & has had them for at least 5 years.
My collection is HERE (http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/showthread.php?t=15711)

[Auld Bassoon]

I consoled myself by finding another Stanley #7 although it was a US model & needed a fair bit of work.
LN has got my CC details & has had them for at least 5 years.
My collection is HERE (http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/showthread.php?t=15711)

AAAaaaarrrrghhh!

Now why did you have to go and do that? My poor aching wallet!http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif I see all these lovely pieces of kit, and... owwww! Bugger!

Cheershttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

[Zed]

today was a good day, I went to carba tech after work and got meself a CT-002V. nice 2hp dustie. very good. got it home unpacked and started putting the bugger together, so far so good. got the frame togethern finally got the wheels on (geez some of the chinese "craftmanship" is wee-poor; one of the threads was onesize too small and crossthreded every time... anyway...) so gets the frame together and lay the motor housing on the frame so I could bolt it on and as I lay it on Im thinking - if this drops and me hands in the way it'll collect me and it will farging hurt. soon as I said this, guess what ? they bastard drops on me hand and the motor housing (which probably weighs 25kg or more) presses me hand against the frame on its way to the ground. jeeeeZUZZ! I almost cried. farg it hurt... the adrenalin kicked in and I got dizzy and almost passed out with the pain... sat down looked at me hand thought - sheet, i've broken me hand here. had a little swear at myself and turned the lights off and went inside - told jane who gave me the most evil look ive seen for a while while she gets the ice- it swelled up like a balloon. the ice pack brought it down to size again - just a little swelling now and i;ve got full movement due to the ice and by flexing the hand and clenching unclenching etc - didnt break anything thank fark!

anyway thats the worst accident i've ever had. I hope it never happens again. :eek:

come to think of it its only the second time i've had an accident in many years of mucking about in the shed and a full house reno - the first time i scraped some skin off the top of my thumb with some 60 grit on the disc sander... jsut a wee bit of blood and a manic laugh from jane as she applied the cleansing alcohol - that hurt more than the scraping...

[MajorPanic]

Don't worry Zed, don't chimps have 4 hands?

I got the evil look a couple of times when coming in from the workshop I said "You had better drive me down to get some stitches" :eek:

SWMBO gets a little faint at the sight of blood!!!:p

[Zed]

im still in trouble over that - but managed to get the dustie on and run some blk sassefras through the buzzer for fun and to show jane... she was so impressed she asked for a go so I could see the chips go up the spout... works really well... tomorrow i play for real... after I dig some holes for jane. :eek:

[Pat]

Zed, would your Jane happen to be a nurse? My MBGitW is a nurse and she continually tells me that she is paid to be compassionate at work! Another saying of her and my mother's (another nurse) is "Don't bother me unless their is gushing blood or visible bone" Lucky I am an OFA holder - Bandaids and Saline are some of best used tools in my workshop! :D

[Harry72]

Had a good one today another mak'trouble, was using an orbital on a project which vibrated enough to send my 6mth old 18v mak drill skydiving off my workbench... buzzy scraping sounds as trigger was pulled then it stops alltogether it had shattered one of the magnets... not happy Jan :(
Downed tools went inside and had a little sulk!

[echnidna]

Just finished making 30 picture frames. :) :)

Guess What?

23 are the wrong size !! :o :o :o :o

All outa that rotten northern nsw timber thats fulla tiny splinters :D :D

The timber looks very nice though :) :)

[rodm]

A mate was fitting a sectional door to my carport today and the door panels had been made 40mm too short. I was helping him load the panels back on the trailer and walking backwards I stepped on a piece of angle iron trim and feeling it cut into my foot I suddenly lifted my foot which put me off balance and I went base over apex. I have a steep drive so a couple of rolls added to the half flip. Result is a buggered wrist, some blood letting and worst of all me out of the shed for a while. Lesson learnt is that bare feet are not a substitute for safety boots but Ubeaut caps serve well as bump cap -well they must do cause my noggin is not damaged. :D

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Over the last year or two I've been helping a brickie mate build a house; he's looking after the outside, I'm doing everything on the inside. Last year, while laying the floor-boards (Tassie Oak, what else? <G> ) I happened to mention that it'd be different to make the kitchen cabinetry out of 'em as well. Of course, to my regret, he pounced on the idea. I finished the cabinets & an island bench, which are faced entirely of floor-boards over a pine carcase and completed installing all relevant fittings some 2 months ago... and even if I do say so myself, the kitchen looked GREAT! :)

Being close to the end of the project, money was running tight so my mate decided to spend a few months building up the cash reserves before calling me back on-site, which happened just yesterday. We walked in the door, turned on the lights and... GASP! :eek: Every single bloody cupboard door has bowed out up to around 1cm!! Of course, the kitchen downlights are directly over the cabinetry, casting shadows which highly accentuate the bow and make it real "in yer face" stuff. AAAARGH!

I'd a bit of trouble with one door months ago, it had bowed about 2mm but I thought I had that problem sorted out by using thicker battens across the back. As soon as I opened a cupboard to closely inspect the damage I realised exactly what I'd done... 5 coats of Tung Oil over the outside of the cupboards (lovely, deep, rich shine) but had neglected to put even *1* on the inside. D'Oh!

Needless to say, I brought home a ute full of cupboard doors to strip and rebuild. To make the day complete, on arriving home I went to unload the blasted things and dropped one in the driveway, leaving a ruddy great gouge on the face.

So for a bit of relaxation I fired up my mini-lathe... and discovered that its' head-bearings appear to be on their way out [Thread posted elsewhere] This is no real surprise, I should've realised Murphy wasn't finished with me; my big lathe is currently in pieces 'cos its' head-bearings went oval last week. Of course, I was s'posed to pick up the replacements on the way home today but forgot...

I'm not game to do any work in the shop this arvo; methinks I can't afford it! :o

[Zed]

does getting booked for doing an illegal left hand turn count ? if so - my hand is up... I suppose it didnt help that I asked mr flatfoot the following questions smugly knowing its not illegal to be rude and my ute is not a travelling defect :

Me:Does your mum know where you are ?him : Hmmmm
Me again : Do you enjoy your job meeting all these happy people ? Him: yes people like you I do...
Me some more : Hows the quota going mate ? him : evil look
Flatfoot : Did realise I was doing an illegal ? Me responding :yes mate I did. Him : incredulous look.
Me yet again : So wheres all the revenue going then ? eh ? you guys needs some new cars do ya ? Him : slightly miffed - you know that you've done the wrong thing, Me: Yeesssss. Him : Im glad I booked you, Me: Yes, So am I, thank you.

I know I deserved it and I shouldnt be rude but I know in me chimpanzee heart what I did was SAFE. he was only doing his job and i'm probably gunna get a reddie from DANP (where is he these days ?) but bugger it - it was fun, I even said "Thank you Mr Officer" in me best sarcastic voice.

I reckon he hates me now... :D :D

I promise I wont do it again. but fair dinkum - just coz a sign says something doesnt mean it makes sense. I mean if a sign said - bang head here, you wouldnt do it would ya ?

before you all get narky with me - to all the cops out there - I know you do a hard job, I take me hat off to you. and I know I didnt make todays love letter writers job any better but hasnt he got better things to do than just passing out tickets to honest folk like meself who happened to bend one rule ? I mean Im a good bloke - I treat people well, Im polite and I chase vandals out of the local school. I even caught one once and chased off a firebug. I hang around accidents and help victims, I've applied cpr, I've even stopped a kid from drowning, I make muffins for strangers, I help me neighbours, I fix the little old lady across the road plumbing, I even stopped a mugging once. but you cant tell that stuff to a bloke thats "just blindly following the rules - it isnt fair.

frigging road rules imho are absolute bollocks!

Ok - fire away.

[echnidna]

Geez Zed,
or should I say Goody two shoes?
When ya gunna put a pic of Shirley Temple up for yer Avatar :p :p :p

[boban]

They say you can learn by observing....well not always.

I watched a mate, a panelbeater, weld without a mask when doing some small welds. I figured you could do this if you didn't do it for a long time.

Well I had some small welds on my tinnie so I thought I could use my mates method. So I did.

Come 11pm I was screaming in pain. I wonder why?

Told my mate and he was laughing so hard he was crying. He closed his eyes when he was welding (still stupid) but I couldn't see that now could I.

[Cliff Rogers]

...I reckon he hates me now... :D :D .
& that's your worried look right? :D


.....frigging road rules imho are absolute bollocks!......
I found a good spot (safe) to see 80K over today. :D Not bad in a corolla, pity it's "More than 40km/h over the speed limit:$A700 + 8 demerit points and 6 month suspension" :cool:


...Ok - fire away.
OK Zed, You're fired.... You forgot to ask him 'why he wasn't out catching some criminals?' :D

[RufflyRustic]

Come 11pm I was screaming in pain. I wonder why?

HWMNBO did this to himself, willingly, twice!!!!!! His reason - couldn't see what I was doing as the helmet and my head wouldn't fit in the space close to where I was welding!!!!!

First time - fine, off to emergency we go, 2 am in the morning :( , home by 4 am, up at 6 am to go to work, insert yawning sleepy head here.

Second time - :mad: grrrrr, off to emergency we go, 3 am this time. I decided to be 'nice' and guide him, but when we got to the reception desk, I 'forgot' to say "stop, there's a wall there"........... :D

needless to say, he hasn't flashed his eyes like that again :)

cheers
RufflyRustic

[journeyman Mick]

RR,
you can get welding "helmets" which are a leather hood with a lense attached. These allow you to weld in really confined spaces - don't forget to have somebody watching the operator in case they need rescuing or resuscitation :eek: and provide forced air ventilation.

Mick

[RufflyRustic]

Good advice Mick, thanks!

RR

[doug the slug]

needless to say, he hasn't flashed his eyes like that again :)

cheers
RufflyRustic
so how does he flash now??

[kiwigeo]

Just finished making 30 picture frames. :) :)

Guess What?

23 are the wrong size !! :o :o :o :o


Cant you just trim the pictures to fit the undersized frames??

[RufflyRustic]

so how does he flash now??
:D That would be telling :D , let's just say that we are happily coming up to our 2nd wedding anniversary in October.

cheers
RufflyRustic

[doug the slug]

:D That would be telling :D , let's just say that we are happily coming up to our 2nd wedding anniversary in October.

cheers
RufflyRustic
Ruffly, i will have been with my lovely lady for 2 years on 6 september

[imdusty]

Several years ago, as a teenager, I was watching and learning the fine art of woodworking from my Father. Dad was a trucker who was home very little. The index finger on his right hand had been cut off at the last knuckle when he was a toddler, leaving a one inch stub. Dad was going to rip a one and a half inch wide piece of material on his handy tablesaw. As he was getting close the the blade, he was watching his thumb very closely as not to get it in the blade. He was watching his thumb so closely that he didn't realize his middle finger had rotated over the top of the blade at the last second. I saw it coming but couldn't say anything quick enough. The end of his middle finger zinged over the top of the blade. Dad was jumping up and down holding his finger, afraid to look at it. "Dirty rotten !**&*&*!*&#&*#*, I cut my other @!#&^(^*&^(*ing finger off!" I knew he had just knicked the end of the finger and I was laughing so hard I just about peed my pants, which, of course, made things much worse. When my Dad passed several years ago my Brother and I were called upon to clean out his shop. We had quite a laugh when we came upon a box holding all the brand new safety guards for all the tools he had purchased over the years.

[imdusty]

As I stated earlier, my Father was a trucker, and home very little. Mom wanted an addition built on the back of the house for and extra bedroom for me. Dad had the addition framed in and the roof on one Sunday afternoon and promptly disappeared. His tools were all put away in the garage and he was just plain gone. About 2 am the next morning my Brother an I were awakened by a tap on our bedroom window. It was Dad finding his way home from his favorite watering hole. As I was about to get up to let him in, my Mom, standing in the dark doorway, said; "Don't you dare!" Apparently she had locked the poor guy out to teach him a lesson. After a short silence I heard some scraping and scratching outside and suddenly the sound of his saw running. Then a crash and there was my Dad standing in a hole in the wall of our new addition. He smiled and said; "We needed a door there anyway." Dad promptly went to bed. Needless to say, Mom and Dad had very little conversation for quite a while after that event, but it finally blew over.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Last Friday arvo, heard from SWMBO that her hairdresser was felling a pear tree and planning on giving it away as firewood. A quick phone-call led to to a visit of said hairdresser that same night...

She & her hubby were subdiv'ing the back of their lot which used to be an orchard some 40-50 years ago and they were clearing several old trees, including the pear, a lemon, an apple and a cherry. They'd already felled a humongous preposterous (ummm... a pittosperum? sp?) and hubby was out back billeting it. So, I wandered outside to have a chat and ogle the potential shed-filler... and WOW! These trees were old. There and then I told hubby not to bother cutting down to pot-belly size... 4' lengths would fit my trailer nicely. To sweeten the deal, I offered to fell the fruit trees myself. Of course, he accepted: it needed to be done and who wants to waste a weekend toiling in their own back yard?

In leaving I grabbed a couple of small pieces of preposterous to try sampling. I wanted to see if it was worth keeping, or best passed off onto my woodclub sucke^H^H^Hbuddies. So, on arriving home, I promptly rough turned a goblet and then painstakingly sat in front of the microwave for 3 blasted hours nuking the thing for 50 secs every 10 mins to "force cure" it. Amazingly, it seemed to work even though I've no great experience in nuking timber.,

First thing yesterday morning, Saturday, I rechucked it and finished it off. 'Twas amazing stuff to work, turning as though uncured albeit without the shower of sap, an amazing grain coming through. Lovely swirls of caramel & vanilla, a truly beautiful piece. Being so workable, I managed the finest, most delicate looking goblet I've ever done, easily my best by far. After a bit of consideration though, I decided not to apply a finish straight away, placing it near a heater duct for the rest of the day to see how prone it'd be to checking & warping. After all, it'd been hanging off the tree less than 18 hours previous and it looked too good to be true.

Last night, after 12 hours next to the duct it was still intact so I took it back to the shop and applied an Organoil finish, sanding down to 1800 grit. This was definitely a work of art! I was sooooo proud of it, but I decided to give it to the hairdresser as a thankyou. And, I s'pose, a bit of "see what I can do." ;) All in all, yesterday was a great day, everything went better than I could've hoped for. And I also decided that at least a trailer load of preposterous would find a new home in my drying shed. :D

First thing this morning I arranged for a few mates to assist in the felling. Half-way there, got a call from one with a flat battery, so I did the mates' thing and went to his assistance. Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid. 2 hours later, I finally managed to pull up at the hairdressers.

The other blokes'd gotten sick of waiting and had already felled the trees, they were working at slice'n'dicing 'em to length. Went to get my chain-saw and join the game and... it's still at home! :( OK, so I'm now delegated to moving the billets down to the front yard while the other boys played with their toys. [sigh] In her disdain for the plans of man, Ma Nature decided today was a good day to rain. All day, on and off. Mainly in buckets. Some 8m3 of backache later, along with enough foliage to fill two semis, it comes time to divvy up the spoils. The blokes who brought their toys got first pick, which was fair as they paid for the fuel after all, then I selected mine and what was left was allocated to the "club pile." Which'd be stored at my place until the members picked it up 'cos I'd arranged things... Somehow that didn't seem quite so fair, but I was willing to go along with it.

OK, loaded up the trailers, got ready to head home when I was reminded about the goblet. Uhoh... guess what I'd put next to my chainsaw so I'd remember to bring... A half-hour trip home, more back-ache unloading and sorting the timbers, then I grabbed the goblet, kicked the chainsaw and headed back to give the hairdresser my latest pride'n'joy. Pulled up in their drive, picked up the goblet, opened the car-door and promptly slipped on the wet drive. Fell flat on my ****, in a puddle of course, also belting my head on the car door. Staggered upright, one hand going to each end. A quick rub to both, my butt was wringing wet. Wetter than the rest of me, at any rate. A quick glance at my hand to make sure 'twas just water and not mud... no, of course not. Blood! Looked at the ground and there was most of my beautiful, fragile, work of art. Another grope of the back of my pants and there was the rest of it. Funny how I didn't feel any pain until I knew that I should. Then it hurt enough to make up for it. :(

Didn't bother knocking, just gathered what dignity I had left, got back in the car and came home. I can't sit down comfortably, I've got the sniffles and I've done my back in. I know from experience it'll be a few days before the back's up to earning a quid. All for a few lumps of wood. I don't understand it; yesterday was such a good day and I haven't mutilated any babes or children this week. Not even any cruel and unusual punishment. So it can't be karma. Can it? :confused:

[Harry72]

I hope those lumps of wood were worth it Skew!

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Oh, yes. They were worth it. The sniffles dried up, the back eased and, although sitting's a pain it doesn't stop me from firing up the lathe. My wood supply still overfloweth though. :)

However I do regret the loss of that goblet; it was a really good day when I turned that and the pieces I've done since aren't in the same league. SWMBO has told me to go buy my own microwave though... I really should get back to turning my cured stock instead of trying to reproduce the goblet!

[PhatDub]

first year of my appreticeship, i was told to change a bandsaw blade... no problem.. i was a cocky kid... i set it up, and get this guy to start working all the sudden I see smoke coming from the bandsaw.. im like and i run over to see what is going on.. i put the blade in the wrong way!!!.. haha... i didnt hear the end of it for a few months from all the guys at work... and every time after that i changed the blade my forman would always come up and ask if iwas in the right way.. haha oh well.

[Andy Mac]

Ah yes, the mistakes we make that never get forgotten...by others!!
I tried rapidly seasoning a turning blank a couple of years ago at work, like Skew ChiDAMN, I headed for the microwave. I'd read about this and now was the time to try it out...in went the blank for a tentative minute...yep, some steam, turn it up a bit...another minute. Quite a deal of steam emitting, I could see it through the window. This is working really well I think, so put it on for a couple of minutes. There must be time for a quick slash, so off to the the loo, but as I rounded the corner on my return I knew something wasn't right. It might have been the smell of burning olive wood first, or maybe the fog rolling out of the smoko room grabbed my attention!:eek: I ran in and turned the thing off at the wall, flames were appearing out the vent at the rear, and the whole room seemed to be full of smoke! Who should walk in just then but the boss, but he took it pretty well, muttered something about being hard to find good help nowdays! Exit one microwave, and the block of wood never did make it to the lathe, but I still cop it over that stuff up. Can't even heat lunch without some smart comment!
BTW Skew, I've read somewhere that Pittosporum (undulatum?) has been called Engravers wood, because of its carving qualities. I've got some trees in my backyard, but I can't use any of it, full of borers and they drop branches neatly cutoff by the buggers!
Cheers,

[Tiger]

Worst day of my woodworking life was when I tried to coax one more cut from my bandsaw blade because I was in a hurry and didn't have time to change the blade. I got my extra cut alright ----- on my left hand as I was trying to force the wood into a dullish blade. It bled for hours, but I felt hardly any pain, it was so quick.

I have used most power tools but would regard the bandsaw as the most dangerous. I only seem to have accidents or get close to having accidents when I'm short of time, there's a lesson in that.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

BTW Skew, I've read somewhere that Pittosporum (undulatum?) has been called Engravers wood, because of its carving qualities. I've got some trees in my backyard, but I can't use any of it, full of borers and they drop branches neatly cutoff by the buggers!

Thanks for the info! I haven't been able to find much out about it, but it really is a lovely wood to work. I may have to try my hand at carving some... I certainly have plenty to spare. :rolleyes:

[AlexS]

I have used most power tools but would regard the bandsaw as the most dangerous.

Funny, I regard it as one of the safest. Hand held circular saws are the ones I'm scared of...especially the little 5" jobbie that went in the electric drill... now that was scary. :eek:

[Tiger]

AlexS, my experience suggests that it is the most dangerous, also it's one of the only power tools that doesn't have a guard making it very dangerous.

[Pat]

Stay away from power tools! This arvo, I decided to change the blades on my electric plane (GMC Wood Razor). Power OFF, cord 3 meters away from power board, I loosen the bolts, started to take the blade assembly out, slip "My thumb is sore, it's bleeding!" Ouch! Memo to self - keep all body parts away from sharp implements! :D

[9Fingers]

This is an easy one.

A chisel, my thumb and momentary lapse of judgement.

[bennylaird]

My old bosses brother, trust me this is true, honest,,,,,,,,

Cut through a plank with a circular saw, but with it resting on his knee.

[doug the slug]

My old bosses brother, trust me this is true, honest,,,,,,,,

Cut through a plank with a circular saw, but with it resting on his knee.


AWWWWWhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon9.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon8.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon13.gif

[Shedhand]

Easy. As recently reported here, feeding my finger into a 60T triton blade while it was running.
Lesson = USE A PUSH-STICK.:(

A mate was using an angle grinder with a 12" stone cutter in it (yeah he was an idiot). Anyway, as luck would have it the blade broke into 3 pieces while he was cutting a block of sandstone. He looked around for the broken bits but could only find 2. He went get in his ute to go and buy another one and his left leg gave way on him. The 3rd piece was embedded in his thigh :eek: but he didn't feel a thing (until the ambos arrived).

[Gra]

My old bosses brother, trust me this is true, honest,,,,,,,,

Cut through a plank with a circular saw, but with it resting on his knee.

May father did the same thing, still has the 8 inch scar down his leg to prove it:eek:

[DPB]

Wow! Was I stoked!

I purchased a length of Qld. Maple a couple of years ago and was saving it for the perfect project. I decided to use it to build a fairly complex jewellery box for my married daughter. After calculating the amount of timber I needed, I reckoned that there was just enough, as long as I didn't waste any making mistakes.

Hand cut dovetails - worked out great:) , especially pleased because the top dovetails are mitred to match the lid:) . The lid I cut from the body - perfect:) . Mitred Base - perfect:) . Three drawers faces - perfect:) - the grain flows around on all four sided:) . I had a few off-cuts left, so decided to face the end grain with face grain where the drawers shut against the sides. (Just a personal, probably unnecessary, detail.) Three days of shop time - this is going great:) :) :) !

I used one of the drawer faces to calculate what was needed for this, went to the table saw and adjusted the fence and ripped the face grain pieces from the scrap.

Wait a minute - that wasn't scrap - it was the drawer front I used to take the measurement. Arrrgh!:mad:

Now one of the drawer faces has a curf sized filler. Looks like crap!:mad:

[Auld Bassoon]

Aww Mate!

I think that we've all been there, and done that. Doesn't lessen the angst though.

Utter bummer all the same. Time for a nice single malt, methinks!

[Harry II]

back in my younger days I worked 60 hours straight and when attempting to drive the hour or so home I stopped 10 minutes from home for what I thought was going to be a 15 minute "power nap" as my eyes were refusing to stay open. 3 hours later I woke feeling like a truck had run me over.

I get home to find my wife half, no fully histeric as she had rung work to see how I was going and they said I had left, so she thought the worst, I must have had an accident. I found out later that a fella from work had tried in vain to find me, he actually drove all the way to my place and back, but I was sleeping out the back of a servo out of site.

Anyway I couldn't understand why my wife was so angry at me as I thought it was a pretty good effort working that hard and completing what I had to do (personal world work record) and bringing home the overtime and bonus proceeds but no she was furious, so much so I couldn't stand it anymore and bailed for the shed, but, what do I do then, punched the door to let out some built up agro with the whole situation, hit it so hard I broke my hand didn't I.

Well not realising it was broke at the time and ashamed, embarrassed and stupid I put up with the initial pain thinking it would go away, The next morning it had swelled out of proportion so the realisation of it being broken started to set in.

Off I drive to the doctor who set my hand/wrist in plaster and put it in a sling. Ok now more realisation, ever tried to undo your fly with one hand, you will find its easier with two especially when you really need to go. So I just managed that task, just one other thing, have you ever tried to drive a manual car with one hand in busy traffic? I rang my wife.

Where still married.

[Greg Q]

1. Rushing to correct a mistake in a change table project before my daughter was born. Too few shed days and a fast pregnancy (Only 37 weeks).
I was chopping the last of the mortises, and my left hand was in the tool path. Of course the freshly honed (8000 grit) heavy pig-sticker chisel found its way at high speed into my left hand. I felt it hit the bone.

2. Helping out the chippy I hired to finish off my attic. On a ladder, reflexively trying to catch a hammer (of all stupid things) that he had tossed my way. Came off the ladder, fell with my outstretched hand finding his toolbox, with his trowel point up. Tool surgically removed from my left hand.

[AlexS]

...Came off the ladder, fell with my outstretched hand finding his toolbox, with his trowel point up. ...
Now that's what I call aerobatics!:D

[Auld Bassoon]

Greg,

Methinks that you need to do WW with your right hand only - the left one seems to cop a lot of flack...

I hope you fired that burk that tossed you the hammer - what a dopey thing to do...

Cheers!

[Greg Q]

That guy was an excellent carpenter, except for a serious depression problem, and some other issues as well. That WAS the last straw for me. Prior to this, I noticed him resting his still-winding down circular saw on his thigh after every cut. Obviously one day the blade guard was going to hang up and he was going to open up his leg. That scared me.

The other thing that chills me to this day was him clearing a nail gun jam while on the roof. He got that done, then held the nose piece down and fired a nail. I am not kidding about this: That nail found my neighbour's cat, right in the meaty part of her leg. Between Vet and Doctor bills I would have been better off to hire a real builder.

Greg.

Oh, by the way, between chisel and trowel scars, the amateur palm readers at work sputter out some pretty good theories!

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

That's odd. I don't remember doing any work in Templestowe!? :D

[Greg Q]

That was when we lived on the other side of town.

I have a knack. I could start a service: If I hire a tradie, black ban him. Announce it to the world. Every guy I have ever hired has instantly turned weird. The one and only sparky I hired insisted on disconnecting my power until he installed four (Yes, 4) earth stakes. Hence the genius of strong handgun laws in this country. I kept my power and he his hide, but he had lots to spare.

[redwood]

My dumbest thing happend half hour ago:o I just finished spraying the second coat on a coffee table, and as i want to hurry up and thickness some boards before i pull stumps for the day, i grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over the coffee table to protect it from dust:eek::eek: :eek: what a f*%^#* idiot i am:(

[doug the slug]

i grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over the coffee table to protect it from dust:eek::eek: :eek: what a f*%^#* idiot i am:(

Redwood, i nearly fell off the chair, sorry mate, dont want to laugh at another's misfortune, but i couldnt help it.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

A greenie on the way for a very entertaining tale http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

[redwood]

i peeled it of straight away and its stuffed:( all that effort:( ill let it dry and totaly strip it:( upside is im havin a stubbie an hour before i had origanaly planed to celerbrate the fact im a goose:rolleyes:


.

[Carpntr969]

Just opened my first shop, had a new company name that was a blend of my last name & part of the gentlman whom helped me do it's last name. Spent $2,000.00 for a stall in the biggest trade show of the year, had a beautiful slab of fiddleback Spanish Cedar (like mahogany) 96" x 28" x 1 1/4", a real showpiece. I planned for a month to make this into a sign that would astonish people, worked on it from 6:00am to 11:00 pm, routed the name (13 letters) & Woodworking Inc. Did filigree corners, inverted pyramids, white maple inlay, the whole shebang. I was a proud man! Janet (my lady at the time) stops by to drag me out for a couple, so I just have to show her this work of art. . .She looks at it, says it;s beautiful but why did I spell the name like that? Well. I ain't got college, only the miltary as a formal educashun. Boy whatta putz. The sign never made it the show, it did however become a nice work plank.
I got a few more, this is enough though.

[doug the slug]

im havin a stubbie an hour before i had origanaly planed to celerbrate the fact im a goose:rolleyes:

Are you sure you didnt have a few stubbies BEFORE you threw the blanket over the tablehttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gifhttp://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

[echnidna]

My dumbest thing happend half hour ago:o I just finished spraying the second coat on a coffee table, and as i want to hurry up and thickness some boards before i pull stumps for the day, i grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it over the coffee table to protect it from dust:eek::eek: :eek: what a f*%^#* idiot i am:(

Sounds like you just invented the "textile finish" for woodwork.
Congratulations:D

[journeyman Mick]

Carpntr,
welcome and don't feel too bad mate! I used to work in graphic arts and used to see a lot of king sized typo's. The trouble when signwriting is that you don't look a the whole word like you do when writing normally, you tend to draw the individual letters as objects or pictures, rather than write them in a group as a word. Also, even when working with smaller text of a size nearer to normal writing people often can't see a mistake as their brain sees what should be there rather than what is really there.

Mick

[redwood]

theirs a thought. i could sell it as contemporary art:confused: do a few more and maybe get a government grant:rolleyes:

[Dean]

One day not long ago, I had a blonde moment (no offense to blondes, just a figure of speech). Anyway following a bit of a hail storm in brissie, the light bulb in one of those $18 outdoor Par38 light fixings was smashed by the hail. So, coming off about 6 hours sleep in almost three days, I go out there, pull the whole light fitting off the post it was screwed to (to light up the pool area) and throw the whole thing in the bin.

Of course, what i should have done was just take the smashed lightbulb out and replaced it with a new $4 one instead of chucking out a perfectly good $18 light fitting :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

A made a mental note to get more sleep over the next few days :D

[Gajm]

Before I owned a bandsaw I needed a large perfect circle cut out of a piece of perspex. I had one of those drill circle cutting things with the 2 blades, but it didnt open far enough. So I took one end off, and moved the bar across so it would cut much bigger, but with just one blade.

I figured I would put the speed on my drill press way down and just take it very slowly. My biggest worry was the balance of the circle jig. So I clamped the perspex in place and turned on the drill press and it spun beautifuly, no wobble at all....for the few turns it took to catch the power cord and tear it out of the side of the drill. It isnt woodworking I just realised, still maybe someone might learn something, I did

[mudgutts]

I HAD a bandsaw until my eldest decided to cut up cow bones with it now i have a meat cutter what a waste of $1000.00 bandsaw hence my boys have there own tools now and there own shed.

[Wood Butcher]

Mudgutts, why can't the BS be used anymore? Surely a good clean would suffice. Cow bones are softer than most of our hardwoods.

[Andy Mac]

Did the cow bone have meat and sinew still attached?! That really pastes the insides of the BS with a stinking mulch, and builds up on the tyres enough to spit the blade off. Takes ages to clean too!
Don't ask how I know.....:o

Cheers,

[Iain]

Get your butcher to give you some of the chemical they use to break down meat on anything (don't get it on your skin though) they use it to clean the machines, stainless benchtops, floors walls etc.
Wipe on using gloves, wait about half an hour and wipe of with a hot wet cloth.
No residue, no smell, no nothing, nasty stuff though when concentrated.

And speaking of circle cutters, using the same drill/cutter attachment, bored a hole, raised the bit and put my hand under to move something.
Didn't realise that the cutters were THAT close, had a lovely set of arced cuts on the back of my hand.

[MrFixIt]

Hi

i decided to set up the workshop in the dining room as the plan was to renovate the bedrooms, bathroom kitchen then dining room last, better than cuting downstairs and carting up all the time!...but why would you want to cart *ALL* that wood upstairs - INCLUDING all the bits you cut off, only to bring down the offcuts and all the sawdust? :D

IMHO it's easier to leave the dust and offcuts downstairs and only carry the cut to size timber upstairs :D