Telemarketers (again)

[kiwigeo]

1. Phone conversation 1.


(ring ring!!)

Me: hello

Telemarketer: hello is that Mr Turner (heavy Indian accent)

Me: Who are you and what are you trying to sell me?

Telemarketer: On no Mr Turner Im not trying to sell anything.

Me: are you calling from a call centre in India?

Telemarketer: oh no Mr Turner. I would just like to know if you pay the phone bill in your household?

Me: Are you sure youre not trying to sell me something...like for example an alternative to my current phone service provider??

Telemarketer: oh no Mr Turner, I am not trying to sell you anything..I would jut like to offer you a better deal with your phone service....

(getting fairly hot under the collar by now)

Me: Stop....stop. Okay....I asked you at the start of this call if you were trying to sell me anything and you flatly denied it. Now youre offering me a deal with some phone service provider. I think even a 2 year old child could deduce that youre trying to sell me something. Youve lied to me and youre very dishonest...dont ever call me again.

2. Phone conversation 2....5 minutes later:

(ring ring!)

Me: hello... are you a telemarketer!!!?????

(Stunned silence at other end and then the sound of a phone being hurredly put back on the hook).

[outback]

1. Phone conversation 1.(ring ring!!)

Me: hello

Telemarketer: hello is that Mr Turner (heavy Indian accent)



then say:
P!SS OFF. and don't call me again you low life snake.





See my way is much quicker.

[ozwinner]

then say:
P!SS OFF. and don't call me again you low life snake.





See my way is much quicker.
Doesnt work, they breed them as low life snakes, they have a caste of low life snakes especially for it.
They breed em faster than you can tell em to get stuffed.

Al :(

[Jack E]

A little off topic and early in the thread I know.

About two months ago I purchased a large fridge, part of the deal was a $300 voucher by redemption. This voucher had not arrived so I rang the company today to ask about it.
When I provided my name and address i was told about 5 seconds later that the reciept had been processed today and would be mailed tommorrow.
I thought this was a bit of a coincedence so I asked if they normally take 2 months to process or if they do nothing, wait until somebody calls and then tell them it was processed today. (hoping that more peopple would forget than call)

Seems a little dodgy to me.

Jack

[Cliff Rogers]

You won't stop them while people still buy their crap.

You will live longer if you don't let them get up your nose.

If you are busy, say "No thank you" & hang up quickly & smile. :) You will live a lot longer. ;)

If you are not busy, waste their time a bit for the hell of it 'cos it will run up their phone bill &/or tie them up for a while so they don't bug somebody who is busy... put them on hold, excuse yourself & tell them to wait a minute while you get a pen & put the phone down before they can tell you that you don't need one & then go back to your shed/book/TV/Newspaper/garden/beer whatever.
Don't loose your temper, it doesn't do you any good at all.

[Zed]

do we have any indians on the forum ?

[Ashore]

do we have any indians on the forum ?possibly , but after reading some of these threads we certainly have got some coyboys






Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

[kiwigeo]

do we have any indians on the forum ?

I wish to make it clear that I dont have a beef with Indians....unfortunately these days if you receive a phone call at dinner time and its someone you dont know and they have an Indian accent theres a 99.9% chance youre dealing with a telemarketer.

Dont care what planet these low lifes come from...I just want them to p**s off an respect my privacy.

Its got so bad I now flip my answer machine on between the hours of 4.30 and 9.30 everyday It means that Im now incurring extra costs when I have to call back legitimate callers...its totally unacceptable.

[Daddles]

I had a series of incidents recently with an energy firm. They'd ring and ask if this was an appropriate time. I'd say no. They suggest the following week. I'd say yes and they'd ring off. This happened about four times. I haven't heard from them since. :D

Richard
but by crikey it was hard being polite

[Caliban]

do we have any indians on the forum ?
What you mean we, paleface?

[julianx]

I too used to find tele marketers annoying, I even use like it when they rang after I had had a bad day so I could take it out on them. Then I met this poor 18 year old kid who worked in a call centre because he had no skills and didn't want to go on the dole and be labeled a bludger. So now I politely say "no thank you" and hang up. I figure their self esteem is low enough with out me calling them low life scum.
I'm not sure about the Indian call centres it might be differant over there, after all they have such a wonderful standard of living in India :D

[Zed]

my opinion :

we all need to work to feed our families except rich kids who dont know how anyway

the poor dude from the call centre is just doing what he has to do to survive, if he didnt someone else would

the poor dude from the INDIAN call centre is probably better educated that you or I and probably considers himself lucky to have the job he has.

India is probably a rathole compared to oz, this doesnt give us the right to treat them badly - does this cause racial hatred and is it the root cause of terrorsism ? :confused: ok thier timing is bad - but methinks if you get offended by call call centre calling you then you probably will be offended at any time and whatever accent they use. What if Neil and Pauline decided to employ a call centre to drum up business for the next big wax ? would you listen, hang up or get rude ?

call centres KNOW most people will hang up or give a earful, but for every hangup there is probably someone who is interested in the service they are offering - this makes it worthwhile.

having said that :

1) I dont like sending jobs offshore either
2) do like they tell the kids about drugs ; "Just say no"
3) if call centres truly offend you send your business elsewhere or write to your supplier - if enough people complain it may stop 'em
4) pancakes

cheers big ears. play nice, I always do .... :D :D

[bitingmidge]

we all need to work to feed our families except rich kids who dont know how anyway

Zed,

What a warm (cuddly even) way of starting the day, I was going to give you a greenie for the fuzziness I feel, but it wouldn't let me :eek: .

But you really should be nice to the rich kids too, their dad's own the call centres that provide all those jobs!

Cheers,

P
:D :D

[Iain]

Indians are big on certificates for just about anything, I was travelling by train from Bombay to Calcutta, 1st class (that means you sit inside the carriage, fair dinkum) after making an application to buy a ticket, then getting a permit to purchase a ticket, three bloody days and the damned trains near on empty.........inside.
Anyway I digress, sitting there minding my own business when a youngish bloke comes up, dressed in a suit and carrying a brief case,'good morning sir', opens case, looks like a surgical instrument salesman or Ghunga Din the Ripper, 'may I clean out your ears 'No, pyse off' 'but sir, I have ear cleaning certificate' which he duly produced.
It is unbelievable.
My cousin was robbed a couple of days later on the same train after accepting a cup of their tea (big urn, boiling milk, sugar and water then add tea leaves yuughhhh), 10 minutes later out cold and woke up some hours later to find his luggage gone but plus a huge headache.
Maybe they have become the telemarketers.

[kiwigeo]

call centres KNOW most people will hang up or give a earful, but for every hangup there is probably someone who is interested in the service they are offering - this makes it worthwhile.

D

This line of reasoning is exacty the same one the email spammers use and for that reason spammers and telemarketers get the same level of respect in my household.

The reasons I object to telemarketers ringing me up is much the same as the reason I hate spammers clogging up my inbox......1. THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY PRIVACY and 2. THEY COST ME TIME AND MONEY.

The spammers forced me to go and get myself a (paid for) email account with Berlin wall black listing and blocking features. The telemarketers are forcing me to filter incoming phone calls with my answer machine and then I have to return valid calls at MY expense.

I can handle a telemarketer wasting my time every few days but 5-6 calls every day at the busiest time of my day and now even calls at lunchtime is too much. Telemarketers are too stupid to realise that if they keep this game up eventually there will be restrictions placed on their activities.

Cheers

Martin

[echnidna]

my opinion :

we all need to work to feed our families except rich kids who dont know how anyway .............the poor dude from the call centre is just doing what he has to do to survive,

cheers big ears. play nice, I always do .... :D :D

Such a magnaminous attitude Zed.
Please post your home phone number so those of us who get annoyed can now refer the Indians to your phone. Where we can be sure they will recieve wonderful reactions from you. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

[Zed]

(02) 9969 2777


cheers

[shaunburgess]

Do what i did, get a silent number and tell the whmbo not to put your number on any free draws at shopping centres, marketing lists or any other such competitions. I always put my mobile on lists, atleast it cost them money to ring me!

[kiwigeo]

Do what i did, get a silent number

Am being forced to do just that....but again theres a cost involved. I now have to change my business cards and notify everybody of the changes to my phone number.

[HappyHammer]

My cousin was robbed a couple of days later on the same train after accepting a cup of their tea (big urn, boiling milk, sugar and water then add tea leaves yuughhhh), 10 minutes later out cold and woke up some hours later to find his luggage gone but plus a huge headache.
Maybe they have become the telemarketers.
Were the muggers certified or operating illegally?:D

Sorry couldn't resist.

HH.

[zenwood]

What about this:

"Do you pay the phone bills in your household?"

"Er, yes"

"I'd like to tell you how to save money on your phone bills..."

"I'm very interested in your offer. Could you hold while I get a pen and paper?"

"Yes, sir"
Then put the phone down, without hanging up. Come back half an hour later and see if they're still holding.

[craigb]

I reckon you can always pick them because they always start "hello is that - pause while they read your name - Mr Baker..."

"Yes" I say

"This is soandso. How are you today?"

"I'm well thanks soandso but I don't want anything"

Then I hang up.

Works for me.

It's quick too.
:D

[Zed]

I dont like to be too rude... so I say "you have 10 seconds to tell me what you are selling" this works on the phone or door knockers - they either talk fast, they leave or they hangup...

I then tell sorry not interested. and I get a free joke out of it too...

it can be relatively easy after all...

[Fat Pat]

1. Phone conversation 99. (with apologies to kiwigeo)

(ring ring!!)

Me: hello

Telemarketer: hello is that Mr Fat_Pat (heavy Indian accent)

Me: Who are you and what are you trying to sell me?

Telemarketer: On no Mr Fat_Pat I'm not trying to sell anything.

Me: Oh great, how are you?

Telemarketer: err, I am fine, I wis...

Me: ...how is your wife?

Telemarketer: ummm, she is very well, I would like to tal...

Me: That's great, and your Mother?

Telemarketer: She is fine to. Can I jus...

Me: Wonderful, how are your children?

Telemarketer: ahhh, I don't have any children Mr Fat Pat. But I wis...

Me: Oh I am sorry that you are not blessed with children yet. Are you and your wife planning on having children? Do you wish to have a Son or Daughter first? I feel that a Daughter is very delightful

Telemarketer: Beep Beep Beep

Me: Hello? Hello?

Me: \ Music Starts (Another one bites the dust)

;)

[Cliff Rogers]

(02) 9969 2777


cheers

The Zoo, very good Zed. :D

[Cliff Rogers]

Mujibar was trying to get into Australia legally through Immigration.

The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter Australia."

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."

The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you, and works at Tel$tra in the Call Centre.

[kiwigeo]

I reckon you can always pick them because they always start "hello is that - pause while they read your name - Mr Baker..."


:D

How about this convo I had a few months back:

(ringidy ring ring!!)

Me: hello

Telespammer: Hello.....Mrrrrrrrrr. Errrr Ummmm excuse me but can you please hold while I reboot my computer?

Me: (too busy rolling on the floor with laughter)

[Trav]

Somehow telstra mixed up my first and last names in the phone book. So now I have a super easy way to tell if they are telemarketers in the first 2 secs.

TeleM: Hello is Mr Trav there?

Me: Not anymore...

I know it is rude, but it annoys the sheet out of me.

Trav the 'orrible.

[ozwinner]

(02) 9969 2777


cheers
Your a funny monkey, and you owe me $1.59 for the call.

Al :D

[Clinton1]

In Melbourne you can go door to door up untill 8.00 pm, which in winter is after dark.
I hate telemarketing and exercise complete equality in my hatred of them.
But doorknockers.... I tell the white anglos that they have no excuse, if they are so desperate for work, then to join the army and get a good wage.
The last one that came knocking after dark I came very very close to assaulting.
Now I ring their company and tell them that I am blacklisting them, and will never buy any of their products/services, and to remove me from any targeted advertising. I also say that if their employees knock on my door again, that I will be visiting their corporate hq and I will be disrupting their activities.
They don't come back.
Now I am building a front fence that will be locked off after I get home.
My home is not anyones business place:mad:

[Daddles]

errr , can we get a muzzle for Clinton? I'm a tad scared here ...

Richard

[Jack E]

if they are so desperate for work, then to join the army and get a good wage.
Not a good idea mate. These people are only just smart enough to knock on a door or operate a phone and you want them to join the Army, a job that requires dedication and the ability to operate fire arms :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Jack.

[namtrak]

I give the telemarketers as much grief as the next person - probably more, but at the end of the day - it is just a punter trying to earn a buck. And if they are working from India, then it is a very hard earned buck I imagine.

[craigb]

errr , can we get a muzzle for Clinton? I'm a tad scared here ...

Richard

Actually, I think that racist post needs an aplication of the delete axe. :mad:

[Ianab]

A few years back we had a plague of door to door sales(people) ....
Usually with a line like 'do you care about our childrens health / eduction' ...

I found the most effective way to deal with them was to start a chainsaw....

Well I did have a big stack of logs out back that needed cutting up, but try selling something to a hairy 6'2" guy that's trying to start a chainsaw.. :D

Max bonus points goes to my mate...
'do you care about our childrens education'
"I dont have any children, but if you are offering..."

That was the end of that sales pitch :D

I know most of them are kids just trying to make a buck, but if you want a simple job, flip burgers or pump gas.... You are earning an honest $ and I'll thank you if you wipe my windsceen.
If you call around here trying to sell me a $500 vacumn cleaner for $1400...
Lets see how many pulls the Stihl needs...

:eek:

[Daddles]

Now I've never been to sure of whether I approve of the actions I'm about to describe but now, twenty years after they were described to me, I still have a good laugh.

I worked with a bloke in Squidley who wasn't known for suffering fools with any sort of sympathy. He owned a house in the Blue Mountains ... at the end of a mud track. Well, this winter was particularly cold and particularly wet, even by their standards. For some reason best left to conjecture, he was digging a trench under his house. On this day, he was five foot down in this trench, standing in about six inches of clay slurry, trying to dig or do something equally foolish down there. A couple of Jehova's Witnesses came up and asked if they could talk to him. He smiled (always a bad sign) and told them that he'd gladly talk to them if they joined him in the trench. The silly buggers did ... cheap suits, polished shoes and all. Once he had them standing ankle deep in clay slush, he asked them who they were. They introduced themselves again to which he replied - Nah, don't want you mob on me land. **** off.

He was a fun bloke. About 5'7" with a thick red beard - we used to call him Yosemite Sam because he looked like the cartoon character. He was driving deck spikes into a road one day - marking out some new road construction. These things need to be driven in with a sledge hammer. Despite the cones and warning signs, cars kept coming far too close so eventually, he drove the sledge hammer into the side of an errant car. The driver got a tad upset and took him to court. The magistrate listened to all the evidence, told the driver that if he was close enough to be hit with a sledge hammer he was 'too damned close', and threw the case out of court.

We didn't have telemarketers in those days. I suspect they would not have been received with much affection by Yosemite Sam.

Cheers
Richard

[Groggy]

I guess anyone who has been to America or lived there knows where this is going, but in case you don't, I'll tell you. If you encourage telemarketing by not asking them to remove you from their database, eventually you will receive 10-15 calls during the dinner hours.

The buggers don't even ring you themselves, a computer does, and if a voice answers the computer switches to an operator while you stand there wasting your time and saying "Hello? Hello?"

The US had to pass telemarketing legislation to force them to remove you from their call lists if you ask them to. They also had to establish a database where people could register not to be annoyed. Companies had to check the dB before calling or be fined heavily, so people got the use of their phones back.

You may think it is amusing now, and abuse a few, but when they really get going your evenings will be ruined. It is a bit like email spamming, if they get a live one that doesn't ask to be removed from the database, they'll pass your number on to others.

This is a pet hate of mine (in case you hadn't picked up on it) and I think the practice is both rude and intrusive. You can put a "No Junk Mail" sign on your letterbox but these buggers come right into your loungeroom.

About the best fun I have had though, is to look at the Caller Id, then answer "Hello, Consumer Affairs!" in a cheery voice. On a good day you get to hear one swallow his tongue...

[Clinton1]

Craigb - If it was the "white anglo" that caused offence - I am one. If it was the "lack of excuse" - I sympathise with people trying to find work when their language skills hold them back (i.e. recent immigrants). My point is that I do not believe that door to door is a legitimate activity and I fear for my wife as she is home alone when I work shifts (who is the 'legit' door knocker, and who is the serial rapist we have running around my suburb at the moment? - true). Also, there must be a time that I can have to "choose my reality", and must I have it disturbed by someone trying to gouge a buck out of me?
Apologies if I offended - my own family is too multi-racial for that :D

[craigb]

Craigb - If it was the "white anglo" that caused offence - I am one. If it was the "lack of excuse" - I sympathise with people trying to find work when their language skills hold them back (i.e. recent immigrants). My point is that I do not believe that door to door is a legitimate activity and I fear for my wife as she is home alone when I work shifts (who is the 'legit' door knocker, and who is the serial rapist we have running around my suburb at the moment? - true). Also, there must be a time that I can have to "choose my reality", and must I have it disturbed by someone trying to gouge a buck out of me?
Apologies if I offended - my own family is too multi-racial for that :D

Well I'll accept your apology, but my advice to you is to be careful what you post.

I can't see you. I don't know if you are red, white or brindled and what's more I dont care.

I also don't know if you have a smile or a sneer on your face.

If, as you say, your family is multi racial then you should have some idea of how easy it is to be a victim of racism.

Enough.

Lets move on.

[Gingermick]

The US had to pass telemarketing legislation ..
Can't happen here.

[zymurgy]

For some funny (mp3) conversations with telemarketers, visit CallComedy (http://www.coldcallcomedy.com/)

[Caliban]

errr , can we get a muzzle for Clinton? I'm a tad scared here ...

Richard
What did he say? Why do I miss the juicy posts 50% of the time? Why didn't I miss the picture of Oz in his birthday suit :eek:
Craig
It is unlike you to be this grumpy so it must have been a doosey
:p