"I see stupid people!" or "spot the blithering idiot"

[journeyman Mick]

Firstly, a big thanks to Bruce (E Maculata) for providing the title for this thread :)

I've been on a well earned break at Burleigh heads for the last two weeks and I've seen lots of stupid people/blithering idiots. There's probably plenty at home too, but I don't actually get out that much so I probably miss most of them.

Went to a large shopping complex today (which is probably a prime place to find stupid people). Running through the paved plaza type area that runs between all the shops were ribbons of bright tile shards. Now I'm assuming some blithering idiot of an architect came up with that one. Nothing wrong with it aesthetically, however the brightly coloured tile pieces were all finished in a very smooth glaze. Normally outdoor or wet area tiles are finished in a matt glaze or have grit embedded in them to provide grip when wet. These ones were very glossy and, because of the rain, extremely slippery. I almost went base over apex several times and I'm reasonably sure footed.

At one stage we came across a eatery employee who had just had a fall. She was lying on the ground in an extremely awkward position. A couple with two kids had stopped to offer assistance. She could barely wriggle the fingers on one hand and felt a lot of pain in that arm. I was thinking concussion, broken collar bone, dislocated shoulder and possibly worse. The couple said that someone had gone to get help so I turned to go, figuring that there was nothing I could add.

"Help" turned up in the form of the victim's boss, who proceeded to haul on the woman's other arm :eek: to get her up (and presumably back to work :eek: :eek: ). I exercised remarkable restraint and did not give him a swift clip on the ear for his valiant help. Instead I yelled at him to stop, pointing out that she was in obvious pain and had not asked to be moved. The couple also joined in telling him to stop and wait for the ambulance to arrive. He seemed quite suprised at our outburst. I explained to him that until we knew the extent of her injuries she should not be moved. His reply was that when the ambo's came they'd move her anyway. I politely pointed out that they wouldn't just yank on her good arm and tell her to get up and that he really didn't want to lift her. I may have used some threatening body language at this stage :D to bring home my point.

Anyway while this was going on a woman turned up and started examining the victim, from her actions I believed she had medical training, certainly more than just first aid training too. I decided to leave before I clocked the employer one. ;)

What was this guy thinking :confused: :confused: :confused: . It seems to be that so many people are incapable of actually solving a problem or dealing with an unfamiliar situation. Sure, unless you've done first aid no one will actually spell out to you that you shouldn't move an injured person without assessing their injuries first, but surely even a very stupid person would understand that hauling on a persons arm when they're lying on the ground is going to be rather uncomfortable at best, especially if they're hurt.

You can do courses for almost everything nowadays, and it seems that you need to be trained for even the simplest of tasks before you will be considered for employment. Maybe we need a training course in how to use what's between the ears. Common sense 101 maybe? I learnt a lot about the limitations of the human body as a kid by climbing trees, riding bikes, jumping, swinging, running and falling, lots of falling.

Do we really need to tell people that they may burn themselves on hot things, sharp things can injure, diving into shallow water may see you in a wheelchair forever and that you shouldn't specify slippery tiles for a public outdoor area?

Like Bruce, I see stupid people :mad:

Mick

[E. maculata]

Mick I wonder if we could put a tax or levy on them, to compensate for the harm caused by their stopidity.......They really never cease to amaze me, for instance on Friday in Brisbane the traffic started backing up on Ludwytch (sp?) road, after a few kays we get to see the reason, an old guy either coming or going to the vege markets had decided that anything a 10 tonne truck could carry well so could his ancient LWB F-100, There were veges, carrotts, pumpkins, you name it to the roof in the cab, with just enough room for his poor old frame. In the back thewere in boxes to the roof of the old fibreglass canopy, and just like a nightmare from a SE asia doco, the boxes stacked 4 high on the canopy roof. The reason for the stoppage, he had got half way across an intersection when the best way to explain it is the venerable f-100 just imploded, and collapsed under all that weight, the diff was broken it looked like the chassis rails had bent, and the rear quarters reasembled concertinas, even the cab and canopy roofs were bowed down. The sight of him standing looking on in sheer puzzlement, just exclaimed "book me officer for I am a stopid person" and I'm sure the police heard the laughter from us as we went past chanting "where is your sign"

BTW didn't have acamera in the car, and have been looking for a shot of it, if anyone have seen one of this episode, please yell, for I don't think we'll ever see that again.

[vsquizz]

Mick, Stupid people will do stupid things but it takes an educated person to make a real F***-up. Training doesn't matter (Except to the Underwriters) because you don't have to be responsible for your own actions. I'll vote for anybody who makes the law Common...so common old me can understand and live with it....anybody who brings out a bounty on lawyers will get my other preferences.

A guy comes out of his house the other day and starts going off at me to disconnect the reversing alarm on the Bobcat...yeah right, he'll be the one I end up running over so he can sue my a**e off.

Recently a builder sent us the plans for a site. Plans have express instructions for site (Childcare) to be dead flat. Site has 7 metres of fall left to right and shows 1.5 metre ret wall at left (top) and 2.5 metre ret wall at right (bottom)....Now let me see Mr Rocket scientist designer/Architect dude who knows everything...1.5 plus 2.5 = 7:D :confused: :mad: . I'm supposed to quote on this.....

Life is not like a box of chocalates...its like Dumb and Dumber:(

[boban]

....anybody who brings out a bounty on lawyers will get my other preferences.
Yeah lets kill em all....

[DanP]

Yeah lets kill em all....


Me first!!! http://www.ubeaut.biz/chainsaw.gif<----- (Boban) http://www.ubeaut.biz/FLIPA.gif

Dan

[Iain]

Many moons ago I was working on a secondment with Tree's Bee's and Fleas (CF&L) and we on our way up into the high country in the snow.
In a Landcruiser Tray with chains we barged into a couple of feet of the white fluffy stuff and after about 5 kms found and old Holden sedan well and truly stuck.
Two very cold youngblokes emerge and tell us they spent the night in the car and were going to drive out today.
They had chains in the boot, why not on the wheels was beyond us.
We managed to move the car and turn it around and the two occupants fitted the chains.
We made sure they had fitted them properly and then they took off.
What they hadn't done was secure the loose ends of the chains so I bellowed 'OI' and they stopped.
I told them that about 8" of chain was flying around (it was hitting the bodywork of the car), their response, ';who gives a F***, they're only hire chains'.
We just let them go and wondered what 5km of chain smashing on inside of bodywork would do to the car.
#1. Chains in car and not fitted
#2. In snow with inapropriate vehicle
#3. No one knew they were there.
#4. No warm gear or sleeping bags etc
#5. Wonder if they are still with us.

[PAH1]

Where we lived in Tucson they actually passed a "stupid motorist" law- the quotes are real they actually called it that. Tucson does not have stormwater drains in parts of the city nor do some underpasses and creeks are a whole different kettle of fish, after all it does not rain in the desert. The emergency services kept getting called out to vehicles that had driven around road closed signs and got stuck in creeks, underpasses and streets without stormwater drains. The final straw was when a mother with a young baby/child drove into a flooded underpass around road closed signs, got stuck, she got out herself but the baby drowned. The law is simple, if you drive around road closed signs and get stuck you pay for every emergency vehicle that turns up to get you out, and they make sure they send every available one. The fines were in the order of thousands and the stupid part is that people kept doing it.

[Daddles]

Coming back from Coober Pedy one day in January back in the early eighties. This was before the new road (we were doing the survey for the new road). About a hundred and forty degrees ... celcius. A good three hours from anywhere. There's this car stuck on the side of the road. Flat tyre. They had a spare. It had air in it. Didn't have any tools did they. Or water. This was late arvo. They'd been there since morning and we were the first vehicle through. We were foolish enough to rescue them, no doubt creating a problem for someone else at a later date.

Richard

[Harry72]

We get them all the time at work, like fools who stand behind/near forklifts/Skid steer loaders ... they dont steer/move like cars do they.

The funny ones are so called bright sparks that have been to uni for many years, sure they can solve complex equations but they aint got an once of common sense.
A metalurgist was desigining a new process and needed to pump some molten lead into his contrapion so our maintance dept gave him a small air driven pump... he came and seem us to ask for help as the pump was running real slow and the lead was freezing up because of it, so we go for a looksy he had somehow got some reduction thread knuckles and rigged up a gas line to run it... got about 1m from the gas tap to isolate it and WOOF up she went!(also seen a MacMahons contractor run a jackhammer of gas... was very spectacular to watch considering he was working next to a furnace)Our gas lines are very clearly labeled at all outlets and have special fitting so this cant happen, Oh well cant idiot proof anything!

Another metalurgist came up and wanted a dross sample off one of the pan/kettles, he tried using a plastic scoop(the kitchen kind)Hmmm that wont work... so he ask's for a shovel yep that gets some dross off the pan... but the plastic bag he tried to put it into was no good... wana know the moral of the story, the dross is approx 450°c Hmmm they train smart people at uni dont they?

Its not easy to be smart and have common sense at the same time... just kidding please dont take offence if you've been to uni!

[Kev Y.]

I was unfortunate enough to render assistance to a motorist one afternoon on my way home from melbourne ( ok SHE was good looking and so was her friend :o )

As I was approaching the broken down car I noticed a cloud of blue smoke/haze comming from under the bonnet, I stopped and approached the car, all the time aware of a "tink, tink" sound comming from the engine bay..

I enquired as to what had happened, and was answered with " we checked the water at Pakenham, and it was OK, then the oil warning light came on about 5ks back..."

IT appears that as well as a water leak (it WAS a new motor ) it was also using a bit of oil.. The blue haze was the result of HER pouring 4lts of oil into the HOT motor....

SHE then asked me if I thought the motor would be ok when it cooled...

I offered to give them a lift as it was on my way, My parting comment was "I guess your husband is going to get a wonderful fathers day present on sunday ;) "

Moral.. Women and cars should be kept well apart!!! :cool:

[AlexS]

In the mid '70s we were working on the Strzelecki track when a bloke came along in a Falcon towing what had once been a tandem caravan. He pulled up & asked us how far to Adelaide. All the front wheel studs on the van had sheared off, so the van was nose down, the tow hitch was bent, the @rse of the falcon was dragging on the ground, and he wanted to get to Adelaide quickly before he did any more damage. :confused:

He was towing it down from Qld. because the railways quoted him $140 to freight it - too expensive!

[LineLefty]

IanW,

I must be a stupid person too then! We, being west aussies, hired some snowchains when we headed up to thredbo for a looksee. We passed a permanent sign that said "snow chains requried past this point" so we dutifully stopped and put the sow chains on, shaking our heads at these reckless people drving past tooting at us from their unchained cars.

Needles to say, there wasnt any snow around, but how were we to know that the sign meant "Snow Chains required past here, only put them on if you're driving in snow you idiot!"

Obviously we only got a few kms up the road before we realsied something wasnt right here............

[Christopha]

On my way to Adelaide for the woodshow a couple of years ago when I noticed a ute heading toward Tailem Bend towing one of those big four wheeled Broomwade compressors...... the road breaker was coming along behind on about 40feet of hose....... Boing! Bounce! Fertang! Clonk!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[JackoH]

I seem to remember a story about a certain gentleman who accidentally filled his petrol powered ute with diesel, (or was it tother way round). Not a million miles from Adelaide!

[PAH1]

I seem to remember a story about a certain gentleman who accidentally filled his petrol powered ute with diesel, (or was it tother way round). Not a million miles from Adelaide!

The Wee Waa AFL team did it to their hired team bus on their way back from a game (more years ago than I care to remember). Nobody thought to check that a minibus would have been anything other than a diesel. Quote of the day "this diesel has spark plugs"-about 5k out of town.

[Iain]

Seen many a diesel vehicle, usually the hire variety, running on petrol, not too smooth are they :D :D :D
Line Lefty, chains, real smooth on a hard surface aren't they :rolleyes:

[Daddles]

I seem to remember a garalous old bastard who drove up to the big smoke to pick up a boat. Got half back along the freeway and the boat decided to divorce him and leapt from the trailer ... well part way.

Richard
I wonder if he remembers this incident :D

[Ashore]

Some times the stupid ones hunt in packs

And it hurts me to say they were marine engineers
One built a steel trawler on his property when he finished two other engineers helped him launch it , got no permission to transport it the 25 k just did it
he drove and the other two used home made wooden "tees" to push up the two sets of power lines they had to go under.
They lifted the lines one on each side then holding them up walked down the deck each side of the cabin while he drowe slowly under them. clearing the superstructure by about 2 foot or so.




God must love stupid people; He made so many of them

[Driver]

Some times the stupid ones hunt in packs

And it hurts me to say they were marine engineers
One built a steel trawler on his property when he finished two other engineers helped him launch it , got no permission to transport it the 25 k just did it
he drove and the other two used home made wooden "tees" to push up the two sets of power lines they had to go under.
They lifted the lines one on each side then holding them up walked down the deck each side of the cabin while he drowe slowly under them. clearing the superstructure by about 2 foot or so.

That strikes me as fairly intelligent! Stupid would have been to drive through and pull the power lines down, wouldn't it?

[Iain]

I've seen removalists doing the same thing with a broom.

[Daddles]

Many years ago, your beloved scribe decided that the front damping on his motorbicycle needed improving. So he found out what grade fork oil to buy, how much each fork needed, and headed off to the shop. Typically, there wasn't enough oil in one bottle to do both front forks, so he bought two bottles. He got home, tore the front forks apart on his motorbicycle, replaced the fork seals with a minimum of swearing, then re-filled the forks with oil and proceeded to clean up. It was during the 'toss the bits in the bin' phase that he noticed that the two fork oil bottles had contained different grades of oil. Oops. And he couldn't tell at that point, which fork had the right grade and which had the wrong.

So, next day, he's off to the friendly Hoonda Motorbicycle Shoppe for some more fork oil. Two bottles again, both the same grade this time.

Back home again.

Well, he didn't have to do the fork seals again, just drain and replace the fork oil, so he didn't bother jacking up the bike and taking out the front wheel. He puts the bike up on the centre stand, undoes the drain plugs and pumps all the oil out of the forks. Not a problem. Then remove the L/H fork cap and pour in a measured amount of fork oil. Now the other side. The smart way to make sure you've got the same amount of oil in each fork is to measure down from the top, so he leaves the top off the L/H fork and takes the top off the R/H fork.

Now motorbicycle forks have springs in them, springs under compression, and it is these springs that hold the weight of the bike. Remembering that he hadn't jacked up the front of the bike, you will now realise that it was still only those springs holding the wieight of the bike. The L/H fork leg cap is already off, so as soon as he releases the R/H fork leg cap, those springs can no longer do their job.

The springs sprung upwards.
The front of the bike dove downwards.
Because the front forks were now able to fall to the bottom of their movement and the geometry of the centre stand wasn't designed for this sort of angle to the front end, the bike rolled forwards off its centre stand.
Your humble scribe dropped both the fork cap and the spanner and grabbed the bike in time to stop it falling. Just.
Now the fun began (and you thought it already had didn't you).
He'd removed the seat of the bike before starting work and so was able to swing a leg over the bike and straddle it quite easily. Obviously the centre stand was no good, so he tried to put down the side stand. Well, it'd go down but with the front forks compressed, it pushed the bike right over the other way, away from the side stand.

So there he was, straddling his bike, unable to use either stand, the bike too far away from the side of the house to lean it against it, and no-one else home ... apart from three dogs who were enjoying the show immensely.

He looks around for something to prop the bike up with. All that was nearby was a spanner - ring at one end, open ender at the other. Just outside his reach. However, by dint of really reaching with one foot and using just a touch of psychokinesis, he was able to drag that spanner to a point where he could reach it. Then it was a matter of propping it under part of the bike so the bike wouldn't fall over. He found a nut he could prop it against, but the bike was basically bolt upright.

So, with heart in mouth and with very light footsteps, he propped the bike, let go, prayed the wind wouldn't blow, then went to get a car stand.

The rest of the job was relatively easy, though jacking it up enough to get the front forks extended again and the centre stand doing its job without the bike getting bored and lying down for a sleep was fun.

And the pig of a bike didn't handle any differently after all that love and mis-attention.

Cheers
Richard

[Christopha]

Jack and Richard! Youse two are SO DEAD if anyone here works out who you are meaning..........ooooops!

[JackoH]

Come in Spinner. Gotcha!!

[namtrak]

I remember as a kid once, fixing up the front wheel on the dragster, putting it back on and duely forgetting to tighten up the front screws. Do you understand the fatalistic dread one feels, when in all their 70's coolness pull a 'mono' only to see the front wheel come whizzing off. I think I was able to ride about 40 yards in 'mono' state before the inevitable - I think all my mates were reduced to tears, bastards!!

[Iain]

Reduce yourself to tears, bust a chain while cranking your pushbike up a hill, oh woe :(

[Daddles]

Reduce yourself to tears, bust a chain while cranking up a hill, oh woe :(
You mean your Land Cruiser is CHAIN DRIVE?

Richard

[speedy]

Hi,
I'm a paramedic and the stories I could tell about stupid people could fill a book. Forget broken chains on push bikes for bringing tears to your eyes, how's this. I was working in a farming community a few years ago when I was called to a farm, the only info I had was "a young boy and an accident with a stick". This is what happened, the boy about 7 years old was playing with a stick, the stick was about 800 mm long and approx 12 mm thick. The boy was running along pushing the stick along the ground in front of him when the end dropped into a hole, unable to stop the boy ran onto the end of the stick that was in his hand. The stick went through his shorts and underwear penetrating his scrotum bisecting his testicals and finishing 150 mm out the other side. when I arrived here was this boy with 800mm of stick through his scrotum, I had to cut the stick down to a managable size and take him to hospial. Luckily the stick missed all the major structures and he made a full recovery with no after effects.:eek::eek::eek::eek:

[kiwigeo]

Have just witnessed stupidity at its worst in the car parking area at the back of the shops next door. Saw a huge pall of blue smoke engulfing the entire car park and immediately thought there was a vehiclee on fire. Rushed outside and across to the car park grabbing the dry powder extinguisher from the garage on the way. Got there and discovered the source of the smoke......a fairly new looking Barina with an obviously blown motor. When I suggested to the blonde reving the c**p out of the car that her motor was shot and she should cease driving the vehicle she calmy took the fag out of her mouth and replied "its not my car"....and drove off laying a smoke screen the British Admiralty would have been hard pressed to beat.

[echnidna]

It mighta been her ex's car!!

[bsrlee]

This takes me back.......

Story one. A bloke I used to work with got a job once to deliver an early Diesel truck to a country location - roughly Sydney to Albury. In those days there were very few petrol stations with diesel, so the dealer set up some 44 gallon tanks as extra 'long range reserve' fuel tanks. Anyhow, while pulled up at a roadside food & fuel, he saw some young lads poking around the new truck. About an hour later he found them on the side of the road, bonnet up, wondering why the FJ didn't run any more. It was a REALLY long walk to anywhere & they wondered who was the man laughing & giving them a big wave .....

Story the second. Several years ago, one of the Police radio technicians was driving the company 4WD, complete with 'POLICE' signs & lights, when it bucketed down. Then lightning took out the pumps that stop the underpass in Parramatta Road, Granville, under the railway bridge, from flooding. He used the winch to pull several stranded motorists out of the drink (they were in there when the water came up) & set up as a roadblock to stop any more cars going in. Along comes 'smarty' - over the median strip & straight into the water - gergle,gurgle, gloop! - smarty climbs out & wonders why the Police-person gives him a 'Negligent driving' ticket & won't pull his car out of the drink, making him pay for a tow-truck. :p

[Ashore]

laying a smoke screen the British Admiralty would have been hard pressed to beat.Was there a Green peace sticker on the back window.






The trouble with life is there's no background music.

[kiwigeo]

Was there a Green peace sticker on the back window.




No Greenpeace sticker....but I dare say therell be a vehicle defect notice slapped on the windscreen as soon as she passes the first cop.

[julianx]

Idiot, n. a member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominent and controlling. The idiot's activity is not confined any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is final is unappealable. He sets the fashions of opinions and taste, dictates the limitations of of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

The devils dictionary.

[Iain]

That lets Amanda Vanstone, Joan Kirner and several others of the hook :D :D :D

[Barry_White]

Back in 93 when i was managing Lysaghts in Tamworth all of sudden all the lights went out the computers went down and all the the machinery stopped. We all thought it was a blackout.

We go outside into the street and just down the road is a small crane truck. Apparently he had done a small job up the road and took off back to his place of work and forgot to put the jib down on the crane.

Just as he went past his place of work a small engineering concern the jib hooked the overhead electrical cables into his factory.

The result was that he ripped the mains out of their switch board and blacked out 2 blocks.

He was not very popular.

[zathras]

Was sitting once inside a McDonalds with the kids and was watching an elderly gent tying down his load on his trailer.

The trailer was just beyond the driveway of Maccas and this bimbo pulls up waiting to leave the carpark in a Hyundai. (say no more) She sits there and waits for the traffic to pass.

Just looking at how she was angled I thought to myself she is going to hit that trailer.

Sure enough, takes off and wipes out the entire left side of her car from about the front wheels all the way back :eek: There was heaps of space to avoid the trailer, but no the shortest path is the quickest they say (it was a female driving a Hyundai)

She stops, gets out, the old bloke just ignores her, as he should. She picks up the remains of the side "protective" strips she peeled of her car and drives off.

The trailer just moved a bit but was otherwise intact.

I think of this incident whenever I'm on the pushbike - It's a worry.

[Iain]

One I have seen numerous times and still find it amusing, Mr renovator and family by wood panelling or similar for home, put it on the roof rack and tie down (despite about 3' overhang either end of the rack).
The desired speed seems to be about 40kph and snap, shorter sections of wood panel.

[rick_rine]

I was really shocked to see the female helper on ToolTime with tim the tool man Taylor spinning some timber on a lathe while her long hair merrily waved about her face .
That was stupid .

[GSRocket]

I remember as a kid once, fixing up the front wheel on the dragster, putting it back on and duely forgetting to tighten up the front screws. Do you understand the fatalistic dread one feels, when in all their 70's coolness pull a 'mono' only to see the front wheel come whizzing off. I think I was able to ride about 40 yards in 'mono' state before the inevitable - I think all my mates were reduced to tears, bastards!!
That actually happened to a Honda rider (Mick Hone?) at Bathurst many years ago. He pulled into the pits for a front wheel change and in those days there were two humps going down the straight where the bikes would get slightly air borne. Well....in the rush the pit man failed to tighten the wheel and you can guess what happened.....the rider survived but never seriously raced again.
I won't call the man in the pits an idiot because I'm sure he's not at all stupid and he'd be as devastated as any man could be.


But on the subject of idiots.......the world is full of 'em....but at one time or another we've all been that idiot. :doh:

[Grumpy John]

I have one of these stickers on my toolbox.

150361

Helps keep me focused.

[opelblues]

Stupid drivers, many years ago while bases at enoggera I drove fairly large Macks, you know the ones. Well at the of the Samford road there were traffic lights and the lines on there road were sagged. The sign on the traffic lights said do not enter against the traffic or something like that. Well a lot of motorist didn’t read the warning and moved over the line and one day as i was turning a ladie did this and i ran over the frount of her 3 week old Torana, it was only a slight bump. i had a tank on a lowloader

[kiwigeo]

On my way to Adelaide for the woodshow a couple of years ago when I noticed a ute heading toward Tailem Bend towing one of those big four wheeled Broomwade compressors...... the road breaker was coming along behind on about 40feet of hose....... Boing! Bounce! Fertang! Clonk!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

I dont see anything strange about that....we have quite a few road trains here in SA.

[Christopha]

Bloody hell! I posted that 5 bloody years ago!

[Cliff Rogers]

Bloody hell! I posted that 5 bloody years ago!
I hope you've had a haircut since then.

[kiwigeo]

Bloody hell! I posted that 5 bloody years ago!

Takes a while for posts to get down to SA :q

[Cliff Rogers]

I think he may have been in SA when he posted it. :p

[rrich]

Mick,

It is the "I am a <fill in the appropriate company name> manager. I don't need to know computers. I can manage anything."

My new manager was introducing himself to the crew at General Electric Computer Division. The new manager was asked what his computer background was when he said that.

He was right, he could manage anything but unfortunately nobody would follow.