What's your favourite saying?

[Caliban]

What's your favourite saying?
Where did it come from?
Who would know if the answer is true?
Often we use sayings that we might not know the origin of. I've been wondering if we shouldn't post here the sayings we use and where they came from. The answers could be true or a good fabrication, who cares as long as they are feasible?
I'll start the ball rolling with one of my favourites about the cold.
"It'd freeze the balls of a brass monkey"
Evidently in the days of sailing ships of war, the cannon balls were kept on twin brass rails, which when the mercury dropped shrunk enough for the shot to roll off. Hence the saying. Is it true? I don't know, but I like the story.
There's another about English archers and the origin of a certain rude finger gesture, but I've had my share of deletions this week.
So, add your favourite saying and the explanation of its origin.

[ozwinner]

Heres my fave........
Dont push the send button twice!!


Al :D

[Zed]

favourite saying - "Hovo, you're a goose - get a broadband connection"

where it from ? I just made it up, do you like it ?

[Grunt]

Yeah, I wish Hovo would stop repeating himself.

[Ashore]

Sorry Hovo But
There is a story, often repeated, that the phrase originated in the British navy at the time of the Napoleonic wars or thereabouts. It is said that the stack of cannon balls alongside each gun were arranged in a pyramid on a brass plate to save space, the plate being called a monkey. In very cold weather, the story goes, the cannon balls would shrink and they would fall off the stack.

Don’t let anybody convince you of this. It’s rubbish. There’s no evidence that such brass plates existed. Although the boys bringing charges to the guns from the magazine were known as powder monkeys and there is evidence that a type of cannon was called a monkey in the mid seventeenth century, there’s no evidence that the word was ever applied to a plate under a pile of cannon shot. The whole story is full of logical holes: would they pile shot into a pyramid? (hugely unsafe on a rolling and pitching deck); why a brass plate? (too expensive, and unnecessary: they actually used wooden frames with holes in, called garlands, fixed to the sides of the ship); was the plate and pile together actually called a monkey? (no evidence, as I say); would cold weather cause such shrinkage as to cause balls to fall off? (highly improbable, as all the cannon balls would reduce in size equally and the differential movement between the brass plate and the iron balls would be only a fraction of a millimetre).

What the written evidence shows is that the term brass monkey was quite widely distributed in the US from about the middle of the nineteenth century and was applied in all sorts of situations, not just weather. For example: from The Story of Waitstill Baxter, by Kate Douglas Wiggin (1913): “The little feller, now, is smart’s a whip, an’ could talk the tail off a brass monkey”; and from The Ivory Trail, by Talbot Mundy (1919): “He has the gall of a brass monkey”. Even when weather was involved, it was often heat rather than cold that was meant, as in the oldest example known, from Herman Melville’s Omoo (1850): “It was so excessively hot in this still, brooding valley, shut out from the Trades, and only open toward the leeward side of the island, that labor in the sun was out of the question. To use a hyperbolical phrase of Shorty’s, ‘It was ’ot enough to melt the nose h’off a brass monkey.’ ”

It seems much more likely that the image here is of a real brass monkey, or more probably still a set of them. Do you remember those sculptured groups of three wise monkeys, “Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil”? Though the term three wise monkeys isn’t recorded earlier than the start of the twentieth century, the images themselves were known much earlier. It’s more than likely the term came from them, as an image of something solid and inert that could only be affected by extremes.
Not me but on the net


The trouble with life is there's no background music.

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[Caliban]

Cool
I said I didn't know if it was true and still stand by that. I still like the idea of people telling their favourite sayings and in the spirit of this board spreading some fun around and offering believeable (or otherwise) explanations. Thanks for setting the record straight. :D
I don't know why the thread got posted twice I only pushed the send button once. That's what's so good about you guys, you're so forgiving. :eek: ;)

[Zed]

actually My real favourite sayings are in no particular order :

well i'll be buggered

jebi se kurac :D

etc... hard to say really theres so many that make me laugh - I quite like some of the nasties that oz lets fly with... always get a chuckle at that and midgs deadpan wit can be laughsome. (my wife thinks im mad when she hears me bellowing..)

[craigb]

sheet a brick and have a square asre for a week. :D

It came from the old bloke who owned the servo that I had an after school job at when I was a kiddie.

[Ashore]

Mate when you said the brass monkey thing it triggered something I had read , Glad it didn't upset you as it was never meant to.

Lost Al in the ether someware but I agree, don't usually copy stuff straight from the net as it usually is a bit zzzzzzz.....

As to favorite sayings I think its "Trust not and you won't be dissapointed"
or "and your point is"


but SHMBO says its " Well just one more then"

hay whatever


The trouble with life is there's no background music.

[Pat]

Most of mine would have to be heavily edited, alot of adjectives are used at work to describe fellow employees(inmates) and the tools(useless pieces of faecal matter) that are issued to us. One I use to describe a very bad person/item is "Son of a motherless goat's rectum!" Which when used around my MBGitW, sends her into hysterics. :) I do not know were I have picked it up, but it is still able to be used in polite company . . .

Another long surviving curse is "Sod Off ski!" :D

There are so many sayings, but so much falls into impolite language, so these two will have to do for now. :D

[Landseka]

I like the old insult..."hope your earholes turn to rsoles and crap all over your shoulders".

And...."don't be a mug all your life, take 1/2 a day off".

:D

Regards

Neil

[Fat Pat]

......Your Call is important to us"???

[ndru]

My favourite is one I overheard between what I think was were two Irish chefs chatting about exotic recipes...

"Whale oil beef hooked!"

[ozwinner]

.

Lost Al in the ether someware but I agree, don't usually copy stuff straight from the net as it usually is a bit zzzzzzz.....

Sorry :o
I was just trying an experimental post.
I didnt mean zzzzzzz, I could have typed 55555 or ......... or qqqqqq.
But z was the closest key to my finger.

Al :o

[Caliban]

Sorry :o
I was just trying an experimental post.
I didnt mean zzzzzzz, I could have typed 55555 or ......... or qqqqqq.
But z was the closest key to my finger.

Al :o
At least you didn't do it twice :p

[Tikki]

Not very feminine :o , definitely descriptive :D , don't know the origin ... but probably some farm person :p

"Useless as t1ts on a bull" :)

[DarrylF]

One of my uncles is fond of saying:

'Better than a slap in the guts with a wet spade'

Kinda like it in a weird way - no idea where it came from and don't care too much either way :)

Another one:

'I'd trust him about as far as I could comfortably spit a dead rat'

Not sure if anyone's actually tried that one :)

[Caliban]

'I'd trust him about as far as I could comfortably spit a dead rat'

Not sure if anyone's actually tried that one :)
Well, not comfortably anyway. :D

[knucklehead]

Well not really my favourite but definitely most used.


"OUCH!!!!!"

[AlexS]

"Off like Annie's knickers"

No idea who Annie was, but had to stop saying it when I had a colleague who's wife was named Annie & had a bit of a reputation.

[boban]

I object.

Even if its not objectionable, so I can hear my own voice and stop taking notes for a minute or so....

[boban]

"Useless as t1ts on a bull" :)
This saying has never made any sense to me. If a bull had them or lets say a man had them, most women would put that man to good use I imagine.

"Useful as a lactating man"

[boban]

jebi se kurac :D
:D:D:D

but I use "pitchka ti materna" more often....

[craigb]

This saying has never made any sense to me. If a bull had them or lets say a man had them, most women would put that man to good use I imagine.



Whoa too deep for me. :)

However, think why it is a farmer keeps one bull amongst a herd of cows.

Then decide if t1ts are going to be an adjunct to that bull's desired function.
:D :D

[Tikki]

This saying has never made any sense to me. If a bull had them or lets say a man had them, most women would put that man to good use I imagine.

"Useful as a lactating man"
And to become that way ..... he could self inseminate to carry the offspring!! I'd like to see that!! :D :D :D :p :eek:

[boban]

However, think why it is a farmer keeps one bull amongst a herd of cows.:D :D
Well he figures that if he cant service that many females himself, at least he can observe in envy...

[boban]

And to become that way ..... he could self inseminate to carry the offspring!! I'd like to see that!! :D :D :D :p :eek:
You see what I'm talking about.....:D oh its good to be a man.....

[silentC]

**** it!!

That's probably the most often used one for me. Works so well in so many situations:

**** it, let's do it.
**** it, how am I going to fix that.
What should we do with this? **** it!

[namtrak]

cmon! that was harmless

:p

[namtrak]

**** it!!

That's probably the most often used one for me. Works so well in so many situations:

**** it, let's do it.
**** it, how am I going to fix that.
What should we do with this? **** it!

Just as long as your not a NZ sheep farmer.

[craigb]

"It's your shout"

Origin: Me

:D

[Kev Y.]

"I am sorry, You obviously have me confused with someone who actually gives a ****!"

mostly used at werk ;)

HEY, the profanity filter actually works :eek: :D

[Daddles]

I do have a favourite saying, and it does get used a little too often (judging by the rolled eyes of the lad), but I can't remember it :eek:

Must be having a senior moment. I'll call back after my next cup of coffee.

Richard (I think)

[shaunburgess]

I always say to my kids,

"it's all fun and games untill someone looses an eye" not sure where that one came from

or

It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

really not sure where that came from

or

My customer service approach, ring Telstra they care!!:D :D :D

Having children and a social worker for a wife means all my good saying have been forgotten or had to be forgotten because i get in trouble for swearing around the kids.:D

[AlexS]

Can't wait for the opportunity to use one of Zed's that I'm about to steal...

"It smelt like a pensioner's f@rt"

Sorry to all the pensioners out there. :D

[vsquizz]

"Dial 1800 somebodywhogivesa****"

"Handy as a hip pocket in a singlet"

"Does a ducks asre pucker when it power dives?"

I have some others which are Non PC more or less in relation to various countrys:D , the origins and parentage of individuals concerned and, in so far as the Duck goes....its grammatically not pretty.

Cheers

[Iain]

Busy as a one armed paper hanger with crabs (didn't know that paperhangers were fishermen).
A couple we used to use in the Pubic Service TIFI (singular) and TEFE (plural).
Up and down like a brides nightie, no idea where that came from.
And the one that will be deleted for not being PC, the indigenous tribe who lost a court case to reclaim heaps of land in Vic became known to some as the Rorta Rorta tribe.
deleted by ?

[Driver]

One my Dad used to like:

"He's got as much chance as a one-legged man in an @rse-kicking contest."

One of my favourites:

"Slick as a rat with a gold tooth."

And, of course:-

(Wait for it .....)

In situations where something isn't working/looking good/feeling sufficiently smooth/etc etc:

"What that needs is some: (Tah-Dah!)

Max Factor Knacker Lacquer
It Adds A Lustre To Your Cluster!"

[HavinaGo]

"More holes than hay" .. originally spoken by a young farmer after falling into yet another crevasse in the haystack while trying to retrieve a bale of hay, now used to refer to any object with holes

"Intracranial lead suppository" .. when someone annoys

"lonely neuron syndrome" .. when someone is being thick

"yards of petrol/water/bolts/parts" .. used to refer to anything but length. A businessman/mechanic I worked for used it as a common term when describing stock on hand for repairs.

[maglite]

Pushin s**t up a hill with a forked stick.

I cant remember where i heard it but it gets used very frequently.

Cheers

Steve

[pau1]

"Couldn't hit a Bull in the bum with a handfull of wheat"
Grandfather used to use that one when teaching me to shoot.

"head like a robbers dog"
Used when describing a not so attractive member of the oposite sex. Origin unknown.

[Driver]

"Ugly as a hatful of @rse'oles"

This is one of those wonderful, uniquely Aussie expressions that combines a vivid, graphic description with a very unlikely circumstance. Love it!

[Daddles]

One of my father's favourites is:
You're worth your weight in cocky chaff. :D
but I've never been sure what cocky chaff is :confused:

Richard

[HavinaGo]

Paul1 triggered dim memories of another ... "couldn't hit the side of a barn"

[Gingermick]

You'd get lost in a tunnel.

[Caliban]

That reminds me of this little clanger concerning someone who is a little daft.

"He wouldn't know that a tractor was up him until the bank came to repossess it!"

[Iain]

That reminds me of this little clanger concerning someone who is a little daft.

"He wouldn't know that a tractor was up him until the bank came to repossess it!"
Melbourne version, which I had forgotten until now:
Wouldn't know a Melbourne tram was up him unless they rung the bell.
Lights are on but no ones home.

[Gingermick]

Half a bubble off plumb

Photographic memory with the lense cap on

As clever as Warnie

[maglite]

A coupla kangaroos short in the top paddock.

A coupla sandwiches short of a picnic

[DanP]

Mine are about the people I generally deal with:

"MUPPET" - Most useless police person ever trained.

"Negative tooth to IQ ratio".

"He/She is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot".

"Head like a smashed crab"

[Tankstand]

"Do Bears **** in the woods?"

"Suffering Ars3holes"

"It'll be ready in a Cubic Fortnight"

"Cork Head" (Usually in reference to eldest son! :D )

[Caliban]

And my personal favourite
"I'll never forget old whats his name?"


And on a more serious note "What happened to Tankstand's old avatar?"

[Gumby]

My Dad always said to me "suffer fools gladly"

he knew I couldn't :D

[Grunt]

I spent a couple of days this week in Brisvegas. An expat Victorian taxi driver said "I'd be in more ***** than a Werribee duck".

Only funny to those who know about Werribee.

[The Big O]

"The best part of him went on the sheets"

My Father in law describing a moron he met.
Sorry,
Lionel.

[knucklehead]

Its funny what expression you use and don't even realise.


Found myself use "laughing like a fat spider" again today.

[Daddles]

I'm amazed at how many of these I haven't heard.

Richard

[journeyman Mick]

"Fits like a glove on a chicken's lip"
"would put a horn on a jelly fish"
"fugly"
"rough as guts"

and in moments of extreme anger (or pain) "f#%k me dead!"

Mick

[DanP]

"fugly"

:D :D :D :D :D

Ugly as a hat full of asreholes



"The best part of him went on the sheets"


His mother should have settled for the HJ.

[boban]

This is an english translation of one I heard

"Im that lucky that out of a hamper full of female body parts, I would pull out a penis."

Did I mention that it was also cleaned up just a bit.

[E. maculata]

Sometimes when I get home from work when someones asks how it went? I'll reply with a deadpan "I see stupid people"

and my wifes' favourite when someone does something really dumb is "Here's your sign" a thinly veiled reference to an old Jeff Foxworthy skit about warning the rest of you about us stupid people :D

and to go one further on "Fugly" we use "Super Mega Fugly"

[Gingermick]

I'm amazed at how many of these I haven't heard.Do you keep a little book with things like that for your writing? A quick reference guide to insults from across the world. That may be a good book to write.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon14.gif

Or are you eidetikk:eek:

[Daddles]

Do you keep a little book with things like that for your writing? A quick reference guide to insults from across the world. That may be a good book to write.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon14.gif

Or are you eidetikk:eek:

I don't, I prefer to make these things up as needed in my fiction. As for a non-fiction collection, that's not such a bad idea. It's been done but there's always a new twist you can put on it.

A gem from Billy Connelly - never travel with an eejit, you can always pick one up when you get there :D

Richard

[Iain]

Holy snapping asreholes, a Magistrate I once worked with used this frequently but never in court (that I was aware of).
And for card players 'don't shuffle the t*** of the queens'.

[knucklehead]

This is a throw back to top condition livestock often being grain fed. That is the biggest and best are grain fed.

i.e He's a grain fed idiot!

[journeyman Mick]

..........................and to go one further on "Fugly" we use "Super Mega Fugly"

Bruce,
that's because you've got uglier (and more stupid) people in northern NSW than we do in North Queensland! :p ;) :D

Mick (the handsome and clever! :rolleyes: )

[Daddles]

Bruce,
that's because you've got uglier (and more stupid) people in northern NSW than we do in North Queensland! :p ;) :D

Mick (the handsome and clever! :rolleyes: )

Gee, I had no idea they were THAT bad :eek:

Richard

[Caliban]

and in moments of extreme anger (or pain) "f#%k me dead!"

Mick
Had a mate who had a variation of that which I still use when the brain is on autopilot
"f#%k me running!"
Don't know where he got it from or if it's even possible but I do use it.
Knew a bloke once whose girlfriend's father told him he'd be a waste of a good horn.
I think it's interesting how many variations we all have of the same sayings and find it surprising that I've heard most of them.

[dazzler]

I remember an old sergeants reply to a young bloke as we were putting him in the paddy wagon;

Young Bloke: "do you know who my father is?"


Old Sgt: "Son, thats probably something you might want to ask your mother"

cheers'

dazzler

[arose62]

My favourites, as in most used, are aimed at our 3 & 13 y.o. kids.

Hopefully a succint distillation of useful life guidance:

1) Don't hurt yourself, don't hurt people, don't hurt things

2) Do the things you have to do, THEN you can do the things you want to do

3) Finish it properly the first time.

I also recently read (Readers Digest??) a saying along the lines of

"Good, better, best.
I will never rest
until my good is better,
and my better best"

Sorry for derailing the filth and insults :D

Cheers,
Andrew

[Daddles]

You ought to be ashamed of yourself Andrew, bringing this board into good repute like that. If you're not careful, I'll sic Al on you, or Col, or Zed, or, worst of all ... Christopha :eek:

Richard

[julianx]

ha ha ha ha ha.................. shut up

[Harry72]

One from work from a particular indiviual, "kick' er in tha gutz mole" or kickitinthagutzmole... which means push the start button, we actually call this bloke (all 6'7 1/2" of him) "the mole" because of it!
A very colourful character indeed!

[Harry72]

And mine are, toungin like a lizard for a draught... even tho I dont like beer go figure.
When someone says "Im off" as in leaving I say "Yep off like a bucket'o'prawns in the hot sundy sun".

[NewLou]

Ooooooooorrrrrrrrr Fair go Gladdys!!!! :eek:

Stop talking to yourself!!

Get it inta Ya!!!

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr I think I'm loosen It!

Ya in the Mood Babe :)

Regards Lou:D:D:D:D:D

[Daddles]

An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope :D

Richard

[Driver]

We had a chief draughstman called the Lead Balloon because his favourite saying was "Don't let me down, lads".

[shaunburgess]

My all time favourite, said to me many times by an old friend is ****** you and ya dog.


Which i don't think i would really like, not sure about the dog sometimes though!:D
Sorry to bring the board back in to disrepute but with the caracters that are mebers here where else does it belong?

[Daddles]

Hey, I think he's being rude to us ... or giving us a compliment. :confused: Hard to tell sometimes :D

Richard

[knucklehead]

Don't get me started on nick names!

Thiers the bloke we call "Pothole".................... cause every one avoids him.
Then there was "Budgie"....cause he was always looking in the mirror (who's a pretty boy then).
and "Porridge" ................ cause nobody likes porridge.
and ofcourse "Tickets" ..................cause he was full of himself.

[AlexS]

Once knew a bloke called "Draino"...clean around the bend.

[Harry72]

An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope :D

Richard
We had one of those too(he's just retired), his nic was Morph!

[Iain]

Had a bloke I worked with called 'Marvin' after the paranoid android, he never got the joke.
Everything was negative with him, 'It's a beautiful day' 'I'll probably get sunburnt'.....'Going in the office tattslotto' 'If we win think of the tax I'll have to pay', it just went on and on.............
A friend used to work with the office backstabber named Vernon, it very quickly changed to Vermin.
And a Eugene in a club I used to belong to was always called Urine after a certain incident involving too many beers and nowhere to go.
And finally, while I was in Primary school we did a Christmas play, Wind in the Willows and one Ian Thomas (not me) got the part of Toad.
He is still called toad today, poor bastard, we were only 11 at the time.

[E. maculata]

once got away with calling a 6'5" 18 stone 23 yr old ex Aust rep rugby front rower who work with me a Necrophilliac Hermaphodite, when it clicked as to what I'd called him he laughed his head off :) then used it as his pet insult for a while...................thank christ he saw the funny side, cause when I said it he was within arms reach of me.




Bruce C
(advance apology to any such endowed persons with such inclinations that may take offence to the above.

[silentC]

That reminds me of something a mate of mine said to a bouncer once. We were in a pub in Bathurst and we got talking to this bouncer. I can't remember what the conversation was but he said something a bit clever and my mate said "You're a bit of a fart smeller, aren't you?". Well, you could've heard a pin drop. "What did you say?", says he. "I said you're a bit of a fart smeller. You know, smart feller." The bouncer didn't know if he'd been insulted or not, so he just walked off. I was lying on the floor by then.

And then there was the time I was talking to this thug I knew from school. We were looking out a window at a night club at a building across the road. We saw a woman come to the window and open it. He says "What's the old bag doing hanging out the window." I said "I didn't know your mum lived over there?" He looked at me and, unusually for him, decided to ask me what I'd said, rather than just thumping me one as he normally would have. "Oh, I thought you said 'what's me old lady doing hanging out the window'". He looked at me and tried to work out whether I was pulling his leg, while I put on my best innocent face. He probably still doesn't know what I meant, and I'm not telling...

[Ashore]

Saw a few at sea and once named it would stick wherever you sailed
"Lobster " head full of s*** & an a*** full of meat
two buckets , couldn't carry that much s*** in one
Twin brothers the younger was "afterbirth"
anoyher set of twin lecco's empty head & the oxygen waster
Smoothie got that in port
Tampax enough said
two guns , don't listen just come out blazing
Fourty Questions
and The skipper who climbed a tree and tried ot cut a branch off with a power saw , after they sewed his thumb back on is now Captian Craw


Rgds
H.S.


. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

[Driver]

In between school and uni, I worked in a soap factory for a couple of months. There were two blokes who had been there for years - best mates.

They were an ill-matched pair. One was a huge, athletic-looking character and the other was about five foot nothing and about the same width. The little fat bloke had five kids and the big athlete had none.

The little fella was known as Big Dick and the big fella was Dead Balls. They were known as Big and Dead for short. The joke was so old it had no sting any more. People called them Big and Dead to their faces.

True story.

[AlexS]

In between school and uni, I worked in a soap factory for a couple of months.

There has to be a joke in there somewhere :D

[Ashore]

There has to be a joke in there somewhere :D
Are you saying he was all washed up before he went to uni


Another of the duo names was truck and trailer saw one saw the other<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

or the two union delegates Bubble and squeak one would agitate and the other would agree<o:p></o:p>

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. The trouble with life is there's no background music

[Driver]

There has to be a joke in there somewhere :D

Regrettably I can't offer a free pot of MFKL for the best joke - because I sent it to Al :D

[knucklehead]

SilentC has reminded me of a bouncer incident.

Whilst entering a seedy establishment the bounce was giving the guy in front a hard time. You know the drill, he is going to let you in but wants to feel important. "Tuck your shirt in, not sure those shoes are appropriate etc".
Anyway the guy in front finally gets in and the bouncer starts to open his mouth to give me a hard time, when I said "hey mate you dropped a chromosome". While the muscle bound chap looked around on the ground for his missing chromosome I just walked in.

Don't know if he ever found it..........

[manofaus]

'poofteenth'
when you bump the handle to take just a 'mickhair' off the job
'chasing moonbeams'
when you take off a poofteeth and it doesn't do anything and you say to yourself there is no real point in chasing .01mm for a bearing fit.
'spot on bevan'
he is the generic customer or boss who you hand the job, knowing full well that it will work even tho it may be a 'poofteenth' out of tolerance and really can't measure to save his life.

[nihilism]

"Like a bought one."

At my old workplace we had a useless apprentice who made it to year five of a four year apprenticeship, hence i called him the fifth year apprentice.

[tea lady]

"go a row"

I've never heard of this before, but my friend said it this morning and reckons it means "in the s&%#". as in "go a row of s&%$ houses." As in "in deep trouble" :rolleyes::D

[AlexS]

"Rough enough's good enough" when you've shaved the last poofteenth off.

[underfoot]

A German visitor recently asked me to explain "Bobs yer uncle" :?

[The Bleeder]

One in my signature....


and for the really FUGLY ... A face like a smacked a&se (a@se)

[HazzaB]

Hey There,

I have a few regular ones, that the boys at work sort of get a giggle out of,

'Crowin' like a boy Chook '
Robert's your mothers brother (Bobs your Uncle)
Busy as a one armed Fiddler with a dose of crabs
Trying to make Strawberry Jam out of horse Sh*t
You can't polish a t##d
Portion of urine


HazzaB

[jimbur]

Always liked, "So full of it even his eyes are brown"

[Moe in QLD]

I don't use it a lot but when I do it's the best way to describe the situation

"a fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place"

pretty sure it's a WC Fields quote