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smidsy
29th May 2013, 06:30 PM
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know ####?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

Scott
29th May 2013, 07:43 PM
Not a bad one, read it before except it was the other way around. The man was a priest, or so it went... :D

smidsy
29th May 2013, 11:43 PM
You've just given me an idea, I should use this next time the mormans come calling...

Tonyz
31st May 2013, 10:40 AM
You've just given me an idea, I should use this next time the mormans come calling...

Mate of mine cured them for all time well the man he did anyway.

He's into weight lifting, one saturday wife and kids gone shopping and he spies 2 mormans coming up drive, thinks very quickly, strips to the buff, one hand on the door handle....knock knock grabs the swings it widly open ...."Hi Ive been waiting for you" he beams
the woman has been back several times selling religion/cheap solar/ vacuum cleaners etc

Scott
31st May 2013, 10:42 AM
Mate of mine cured them for all time well the man he did anyway.

He's into weight lifting, one saturday wife and kids gone shopping and he spies 2 mormans coming up drive, thinks very quickly, strips to the buff, one hand on the door handle....knock knock grabs the swings it widly open ...."Hi Ive been waiting for you" he beams
the woman has been back several times selling religion/cheap solar/ vacuum cleaners etc

I don't have the luxury of being buff however all I do is blaspheme. Seems to work every time.

Wongo
31st May 2013, 11:27 AM
There is nothing to discuss when they do not exist.

Gra
31st May 2013, 12:01 PM
My mum turned the hose on the Mormons by accident last time they came around. She was watering the garden and not taking notice, they coughed and she turned to see what made the noise. Problem was the hose followed her eyes and promptly hosed the Mormons.

Her father used to invite them in then ague with them until they were confused about their own religion. I come from good atheist stock :)

smidsy
31st May 2013, 12:29 PM
A friend of mine would call them to the side gate and explain that the carpets had just been cleaned and were wet but they were welcome to come out the back to sit and chat - for some reason they always declined.
Not sure why, it's not as if the 3 great danes were unfriendly, in fact they were very friendly - and also stood about 6'3 when they jumped up and rested their paws on your shoulders.

doug3030
2nd June 2013, 12:08 PM
I just tell them:

"I'm sorry but I do not have time to get into a childish argument over who has the best imaginary friend."

That usually finishes it before it even gets started. :D

Doug

rrich
9th June 2013, 02:47 PM
I tell the Mormons that I would love to talk to them after they've read "Elmer Gantry" by Sinclair Lewis.