Thunder and lightning

[DaveTTC]

Why do they say thunder and lightning when really you see lightening first then hear the thunder?

Anyway my daughters farts are like thunder and lightning

They are so potent you smell them before you hear them

[FenceFurniture]

Why do they say thunder and lightning when really you see lightening first then hear the thunder?

Anyway my daughters farts are like thunder and lightning

They are so potent you smell them before you hear them

:roflmao:

Count one thousand...two thousand...etc. When you get to Five thousand the lightning was approx a mile away.

What count do you get to before you hear them? Or are you incapable of counting (at that point)?

Btw, nothing, and I do mean NOTHING beats the methane produced by my gut flora after a big feed of Pacific Oysters. Travelling to see a client with a colleague one day after a feed the night before - my best estimation is that total volume of methane was 1cc (half a thimble full). Of course I had the foresight to lock the doors and windows, and flick the aircon to recirc.

He still talks about it years later. Apparently it still brings tears to his eyes.

[DaveTTC]

Brings tears to my eyes thinking a out it laughing

[cava]

You're a cruel man Brett.:rolleyes:

[BobL]

Why do they say thunder and lightning when really you see lightening first then hear the thunder?

That is correct when you can see the lightening but most thunder storms are initially some distance away from most observers and the lightening is hidden by clouds and thus observers hear some thunder before any lightening from later strikes is seen.

[DaveTTC]

That is correct when you can see the lightening but most thunder storms are initially some distance away from most observers and the lightening is hidden by clouds and thus observers hear some thunder before any lightening from later strikes is seen.

Interesting thought

So in application if my daughters innards are brewing and I get her to stand some distance away I may hear her gas but the small may be obscured ;)

[BobL]

Interesting thought

So in application if my daughters innards are brewing and I get her to stand some distance away I may hear her gas but the small may be obscured ;)

The blue flame trick will also remove most of the odour. I have in mind when my younger brother discovered this and came running into the lounge room while my parents were trying to hold a family prayer session. My brother threw himself on the floor spread his legs, lit a match and let one rip. He was right - there was no smell. Apparently he'd eating a whole large tin of baked beans.

[FenceFurniture]

:roflmao: (again - nothing like a fart joke).

That's a crackup Bob. Your brother musta been a New Believer.

My father very much doubted the science of this. I was about 21 at the time, and newly allowed to smoke at home. His doubting of the science was voiced afetr dark, and the subsequent conversation went something along the lines of:
"Ok Dad, you operate the light switch, and I'll operate the cigarette lighter".

Wouldn't you know, it was my finest effort to that point, and remains the benchmark of my life! (yup, still have the occasional attempt - hey, it's amusing).It was fully two feet of bright yella, vicious flame.


The blue flame trick will also remove most of the odour.

I have a mate (a different one) who begs to differ strongly. Reckons that with me, at least he knows what he's up for, sans match.

[DaveTTC]

The blue flame trick will also remove most of the odour. I have in mind when my younger brother discovered this and came running into the lounge room while my parents were trying to hold a family prayer session. My brother threw himself on the floor spread his legs, lit a match and let one rip. He was right - there was no smell. Apparently he'd eating a whole large tin of baked beans.

I somehow don't know how my 21 yr old would come at me trying to light a match between her legs. I like the family prayer session lol. I don't think that was the kind of incense the Israelites used to offer up lol.

[FenceFurniture]

For those who may doubt my altitude claim: click (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bAUce5JHs8)(not me, mine was all vertical, all height, but this vid both pleasing that they thought of lights out, and disappointing that I wasn't the only one who thought of it for MAXIMUM visual confirmation).

[DaveTTC]

Too cool Brett. Or should I say hot

[FenceFurniture]

arrgh, btw, there's two of us here on the net right now - it wasn't me who found that vid.

[DaveTTC]

Ontario Lola

[Boringgeoff]

Years ago four of us in a construction camp donga one night and my (now) BIL decides to light a fart, went off like a rocket but trouble was he was in the raw and singed the hair round his clacker. You're supposed to have trousers or undies on to act like the mantle of a lamp. Talk about laugh, we laughed for a week, the rest of us that is.

Good on you guys for reminding me.

Geoff.

[DaveTTC]

That was mean to be onya. Auto correct on touch phones. Go figure

[FenceFurniture]

Years ago four of us in a construction camp donga one night and my (now) BIL decides to light a fart, went off like a rocket but trouble was he was in the raw and singed the hair round his clacker. You're supposed to have trousers or undies on to act like the mantle of a lamp. Talk about laugh, we laughed for a week, the rest of us that is.

Good on you guys for reminding me.

Geoff.

I know of an idiot that did the same thing with a twist - he was squatting - not on his back. Hot air rises. There was a brief grass fire.

[wheelinround]

The blue flame trick will also remove most of the odour. I have in mind when my younger brother discovered this and came running into the lounge room while my parents were trying to hold a family prayer session. My brother threw himself on the floor spread his legs, lit a match and let one rip. He was right - there was no smell. Apparently he'd eating a whole large tin of baked beans.

While away on a youth camp we heard an excruciating scream from another room racing through the door only to find every fellow in the room in stitches except one who had the after burner system trial back fire:burnt: Needles to say for a few days he couldn't sit down.
Fuel was camp food for a week and tank water a good methane source.

[Bushmiller]

Dave

Flatulence. Never ceases to amuse people and yet it must be one of the top five basic actions of the human being :wink::D.

Btw, you know the old saying of lightening never striking twice in the same place (a bit like swinging an axe for the uninitiated), well I met somebody who had been hit twice by lightening. In both instances he was leaning against the same copper drainpipe off a church. Presumeably he survived as the copper was a better conductor than the human body. It was enough to give him a hot, fuzzy feeling :rolleyes: . I also imagine that under the circumstances he lost count of exactly how far away the lightening was as it had just been demonstrated beyond doubt :) .

I also assume he propped himself against a very different piece of wall after that.

Regards
Paul

[DaveTTC]

Paul

I'd be interested to know what subject that man was discussing before he was struck and who it was in the group who asked for 'a sign'. Not only might he stand in a different spot he may talk about different things now lol.

[Uncle Al]

I know of an idiot that did the same thing with a twist - he was squatting - not on his back. Hot air rises. There was a brief grass fire.

Maybe his name was Jerry? Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire - Original Mix - Rock N Roll Experience - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sX5L288USMg)

Alan...

[artme]

Bloke at college decide to test the methane. Burnt his bedsheets.

Explain that to the warden!!!!

[DaveTTC]

Bloke at college decide to test the methane. Burnt his bedsheets.

Explain that to the warden!!!!

I reckon we'll hear more stories about experiments along this vein.

[Durdge39]

Not sure how your daughter will react to the free dating benefits you've advertised Dave. One can only hope she doesn't check on your forumly activities.

WRT the lighters, it's all well and good to admire a good bit of muzzle flash, but have mercy on the poor people that unwillingly release a projectile at the same time.:cool:

[DaveTTC]

Not sure how your daughter will react to the free dating benefits you've advertised Dave. One can only hope she doesn't check on your forumly activities.

WRT the lighters, it's all well and good to admire a good bit of muzzle flash, but have mercy on the poor people that unwillingly release a projectile at the same time.:cool:

I was in Adelaide last year for the show. You should have messaged me then. In could have introduced you. I'm sure you'd be better than when she is with. You do woodwork yes? You must be better;)

[crowie]

When I read the thread heading & knowing Dave lives in the country I was expecting some sort of educated discussion;
BUT WOW was I ever wrong... a whole list of tales with a lot more laughter is what I got.....
BobL, remind me not to attend your prayer times unless outdoors...
Paul, your mate was fortunate to be a good church goer....
And the rest of you best get to see a "continence" specialist before you loose it all.

[DaveTTC]

it would seem now not only is she potent but she is fast as lightening



274334

[Durdge39]

What with all these superpowers she ought to have her own TV series.