Divorce Questions

[smidsy]

Okay guys, finally time to think about making the break, but have some questions.

Is there a way I can force/compel her to pay half the divorce fee without going through the whole court process - I know she is in a high paying job and has the means, she took me for over $20k so paying the whole fee bites me but my situation is changing to where I need to get this done.

Secondly, how much information do I need to initiate proceedings - I think I can get the marriage date from births deaths and marriages, I have her name and think I can remember her DOB, but we havent spoken for 4 years, I've moved interstate and she has moved as well.

Cheers
Paul

[fxst]

Okay guys, finally time to think about making the break, but have some questions.

Is there a way I can force/compel her to pay half the divorce fee without going through the whole court process - I know she is in a high paying job and has the means, she took me for over $20k so paying the whole fee bites me but my situation is changing to where I need to get this done.

Secondly, how much information do I need to initiate proceedings - I think I can get the marriage date from births deaths and marriages, I have her name and think I can remember her DOB, but we havent spoken for 4 years, I've moved interstate and she has moved as well.

Cheers
Paul

talk to a lawyer not us. You need proper advice so pay for it and be done.
Pete

[smidsy]

Trying to avoid the lawyers, all they do is cost money.
This is fairly straight forward as divorces go, no kids, no property to settle, just file the paperwork.
That said, she took me for over $20k in cash and property, and I know for a fact that atm she is on better money than me so if for no other reason than the principle of it I want to try and get her to stump half the divorce fee - but that gets pointless if I have to pay thousands in legal fees chasing several hundred.

[FenceFurniture]

First thing to do is find out what the cost is, and then make a commercial decision, based upon how many hours of frustrating effort it will take to get half of what is probably a small sum.

I'd be looking to save those hours and put them into the new relationship.

[smidsy]

That's exactly it.
I'm not going to spend a couple of grand to chase her for a couple of hundred, but if I can do it cost effectively.

[SAISAY]

Unfortunately, the applicant always pays the application fee.
Are you working or on low income?
If so, you can apply to the Family Court in Brisbane for free proceedings.
Filling in the forms for a DIY application for divorce is pretty straight forward.
The papers have to be served but if you know her address, you can send the papers registered mail.
If you don't know her address, you can put "address unknown".
She does not have to be present unless she contests it.
Best of luck

[rsser]

Shoot, if all my divorce cost me was 20 grand I would've done it again :rolleyes:

[Sturdee]

Trying to avoid the lawyers, all they do is cost money.


Remember the old saying: those that act as their own lawyer have a bloody stupid fool for a client.


This is fairly straight forward as divorces go, no kids, no property to settle, just file the paperwork.


There is no such thing as a fairly straight forward and simple divorce. She may decide that the $ 20K wasn't enough and go for a bigger payout and regular alimony payment and thus cease work for a while to get it.

The money spent on good legal advice from a divorce law specialist is worth its weight in gold.

Peter.

[Bushmiller]

Paul

I have a sister-in-law who is a family court specialist (divorce lawyer) and I have a friend on whose behalf she has acted twice. On each occasion she advised him to settle amicably with the ex. She told him you can split amicably or end up paying the extra money to her (the lawyer).

I would suggest that you need to find a lawyer who is honest enough to look after your best interests and have an initially consultation with them. Ask them how much that will cost first up before you attend. That will tell you a lot. Make sure you have all your questions written down in advance and as much detail as you can about your and your ex's financial affairs.

Don't chat with them. It is a very expensive chat. If you want sympathy go somewhere else: It will be cheaper. Last time I asked the going rate was about $350/hr and that was some years ago. I doubt it has gone down.

As you have said it should be simple: Fifty-fifty sounds fair. As she may be earning more than you indicate that if she doesn't think that is fair you will ask for sixty-forty in your favour. My understanding is that it is quite legal. My take is that if you are both earning you should go your separate ways and divide up what you own. End of story. But I am not a lawyer and would not want to be.

Remember not to chat unless you agreed a fixed price for the consultation (also they charge time on the telephone too).

Good luck.

Regards
Paul

[smidsy]

Remember the old saying: those that act as their own lawyer have a bloody stupid fool for a client.



There is no such thing as a fairly straight forward and simple divorce. She may decide that the $ 20K wasn't enough and go for a bigger payout and regular alimony payment and thus cease work for a while to get it.

Peter.

She can try Peter - I will burn everything I own and live under the Bribie Island bridge before she gets another cent off me.

[astrid]

no kids, no joint property?
Just file for the divorce .
you can do it yourself.
you can even do it online.

property settlements are completely separate from the divorce. sheesh.:rolleyes:

here
How do I apply for a divorce? (http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/FLC/Home/Separation+and+Divorce/How+to+apply+for+a+divorce/)


Cant find spouse?

here
Are you having trouble serving your divorce application (http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/FLC/Home/Publications/Family+Law+Courts+publications/Are+you+having+trouble+serving+your+divorce+application)

That will be $450 please. you can pay it to the RSPCA:D

[smidsy]

Yep did it last week
Just waiting for her to return the papers, had to serve them by post since she is about 5400km away.
Cheers

[fenderbelly]

Okay guys, finally time to think about making the break, but have some questions.

Is there a way I can force/compel her to pay half the divorce fee without going through the whole court process - I know she is in a high paying job and has the means, she took me for over $20k so paying the whole fee bites me but my situation is changing to where I need to get this done.

Secondly, how much information do I need to initiate proceedings - I think I can get the marriage date from births deaths and marriages, I have her name and think I can remember her DOB, but we havent spoken for 4 years, I've moved interstate and she has moved as well.

Cheers
Paul

Been there done that!!!!!!!

we split/seperated, i got a mortgage and bought her half of the house.

A while later she asked for a divorce and could i do it as i was on disability pension and it wouldn't cost me anything.

I did the divorce myself..Went on the net downloaded the papers and filed them.
It went virtually straight thro. I was happy --- but not for long.
About 18months later I got a letter asking for another $25,000. Like ive got that sort of cash lieing around. :o
Told her to go forth and multiply.

Next i get a solicitors letter asking for same.
So i see a lawyer and say this is BS, he tells me no it's not it's the law.
From the date of the divorce she has one year to make a claim.

So $13,000 later i'm in court and they tell me to pay and if you can't pay then sell the house and pay.

By the time i'm in court house prices had a jumped a fair bit and she knew that.

So my biggest mistake was we hadn't done a PROPERTY settlement at the time of me buying her share of the house.
I'm pretty sure the solicitor who handled my buying the house mentioned a property settlement but as i
told her to take what she wanted from the house i figured there was no property to settle.
If we had, i wouldn't be renting now..

This is in South Australia so the rules may be different where you are.

Some lawyers will give you a half hour free consult. Im told there is a free legal advisory service is most states.

But if the proerty settlement applies to your state then do it before the divorce or you could
find yourself renting the place next door to me.

Goodluck

[Sturdee]

But if the property settlement applies to your state then do it before the divorce or you could find yourself renting the place next door to me.


As divorce law is a commonwealth matter it would apply to all states and territories.

So I repeat:



The money spent on good legal advice from a divorce law specialist is worth its weight in gold.


Others may be lucky, you may be lucky but are you willing to take a chance.

Peter.

[dabbler]

As divorce law is a commonwealth matter it would apply to all states and territories.

So I repeat:



Others may be lucky, you may be lucky but are you willing to take a chance.

Peter.
Pretty sure WA sees it differently, at least in some circumstances. My BIL who was docimiled in Qld but married and separated while in WA had to submit through the Family Court of WA. Rocky lawyers tried to apply through Family Court of Oz but Kalgoorlie lawyers forced re-submission through WA.

Result was probably the same.

But I definitely agree with Sturdee's comments. Without a lawyer my BIL would have been far far worse off.

[smidsy]

I got royally shafted by ex wife.

Throughout the marriage I was studying, she worked in accounts so I trusted her to manage the finances.
When we got married I had an NAB credit card with a $5k limit and about $3k owing, everytime NAB sent us a credit limit increase offer she would nag me until I signed - if I was hesitant she would wait until I had a heavy assignment due and ask me repeatedly when I was working on the assignment.
Eventually the NAB card got up to a $25k limit, she led me to believe there was only $10k owing on it. She also talked me in to getting a Coles Myer Source card, $10k limit with supposedly only about $1k on it and she also led me to believe both cards were in joint names.

Her "request to leave" the house we were renting was along the lines of "if you don't go I will and leave you to pay the rent" - as a student my income was about half what the rent was.
After I left is when I found out that both cards were not only maxed out, but also in my name alone.

She refused point blank to pay any of it, claiming that her credit rating was too bad to any credit, at one she said she would pay the source card if I reactivated her card and left it in my name.
I spoke to a lawyer at the time ($500 for the privelege thanks) who advised that the courts would look at contributions to the marriage, that the best I would get in court would be $10k but it would cost me $3k a day in fees over 3 or 4 days with no guarantee of a win.
When I moved out, she said it was to give her space for a month or so and that I would be back. For that reason I wasn't as forceful as I should have been about divying up the property. Between property and her share of the debt I reckon she took me for near $25k.

If she has half a brain, she will sign the papers and send them, because if I have to go to court I will chase the money and property as well.
As for the future, she earns a lot more than me so she won't chase me for any more.

If I die while she still has claim on me, well she lives in country WA and would take at least 48-72 hours to get here, my brother lives 5 minutes away, he has agreed that if I croak, he will have ten of his apprentices around here within an hour and this place will be stripped bare before she can think about booking a flight.

Big lesson learnt.
I've been in a relationship since, and I made sure I knew the details of every cent of our finances - love em, trust me, but double check and be informed.

[fenderbelly]

I hope it goes well for you.

[smidsy]

Thanks Fred.

[astrid]

Divorces can be nasty or amicable.
The best advice I can give is remove all emotion from the property settlement. Emotion feeds lawyers, not neccessarily because they are greedy but because they are bound to act on their client instructions.

AND are bound to represent you if the other side gets nasty.

So if the ex is not stirring up a pot, keep it simple, wear a few dollars, get it over.

One of the surest ways to "get back" at an ex is to nit pick etc file applications, his or her lawyer HAS to respond.

Problem is..... it usually costs the nit picking party double:roll:

[rustynail]

Hey Smidsy, just remember, you are going to have to find some one else to blame when the Missus is no longer around.

[smidsy]

I coulda used her for that just now:

Decided to pressure clean my balcony. go downstairs and fetch the hose, come back up, connect hose and power cord to presure cleaner, go back down to plug in hose and power cord and turn them on.
Pressure cleaner doesn't work when I switch it on.
Back down stairs to check power cord, change power points a few times while listening for the sound of the pressure cleaner.
Still no joy so unplug extension lead and bring it up stairs to a power point I use regularly and know is working - still no joy.
Next try another extension lead, next start wondering how long ago I bought it and if Masters will do so a swap or will I have to go through Karcher.
Then I remember - this thing doesn't make any noise until you actually pull the trigger.

In my defence I will say that I've only used it once before, it's a new toy.
I am wondering though if I can clean the bathroom with it....

[DavidG]

I am wondering though if I can clean the bathroom with it....

Only if you want to destroy the waterproofing.

[Master Splinter]

I use my Karcher to clean the bathroom when I'm doing a spring clean - works a treat, especially if you spray the shower/bath with Easy-off BAM (the one that contains sulphamic acid...so it's in a trigger pump pack NOT an aerosol) about ten minutes before!

(or you can buy your sulphamic acid from bunnies in powder form and mix up a 15% solution and squirt it on)
(may also be good for cleaning coffee machines, for any coffee fanatics)