No Contest

[outback]

A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife

goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a

ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.







"Yeah, right!" she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog

begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to

sleep.Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red

ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough,the dog

stops snoring! The woman is amazed!







Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking

with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly

The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the

closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's

testicles Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.







He wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom As he stands

in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon

attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the

bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.







He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we

were, or what we did, but by God, we took first and

second place!"