Calls from India

[Bob Willson]

India: Hello sir, my name is XXX and I am calling from Microsoft because we are getting errors on our servers from your computers.

Me: You are from Microsoft?

India: yes sir, I am calling you about errors on your computer.

Me: But I don't have any errors on my computer.

India: Yes sir, but it is producing errors here. Do you have long start up times and other program shut downs or things that you cannot explain.

Me: No, my computer is behaving beautifully. No errors or anything like that.

India: OK sir but it is producing errors on our servers. There is something wrong with your Windows and we are checking through your license number and find that it is something wrong with your computer.

Me: Are you sure that it is my Windows computer that is causing all these problems,because I am not using Windows?

India: Yes sir, it is definitely your computer and it is having problems right now.

Me: Well I am actually using my computer right now and I am not having any problems with it at all.

India: Yes sir, we can see on our servers that your computer is giving us problems.

Me: Well I can't understand why my computer is even connected to your server.

India: yes sir, it is and it is giving us problems.

Me: I don't understand how my Linux based machine is giving Microsoft any problems.

India: Yes sir it .... pause .... penny drops ... beep beep beep. :)

[snowyskiesau]

I was at a friends place the other week when they got one of these calls so being a computer geek, they handed the phone to me.
I went through a similar process to Bob but about not being able to find the Windows key and eventually telling them that my Apple computer didn;t have one. This didn;t have the expected effect (hang up) and the caller made very specific threats about cutting off 'my' internet access as the PC was showing illegal access to some unnamed server somewhere. The caller claimed to be from Microsoft London and kept asking for my permission block the internet access ('I'll go to your ISP if I have to').
It all got too boring so I hung up.

[_fly_]

I like it when they tell you to enter INF in the run section and show you all the files. Then they ask you if you see anything,
I say yes,
They ask do you know what these are.
I say Tell Me,
They say they are all virus's
I say thats funny cos I understand them to be device install files and you must be dumber than Dog S#!T if you think they are virus's.
They hang up quick.

More recent they ask you to look at the event viewer and they show you the common warnings and errors that happen and tell you its all a disaster.

I like to string them along sometimes for half hour, Thats 40 more people they can't annoy.
Get right up to their page to allow the access and then tell them where to go.

[Cliff Rogers]

I got one of those SMS Death Threats yesterday.

I received a text from a number that came up as +000000 that said "Sum1 paid me to kill you. get spared, 48hrs to pay $5000. If you inform the police or anybody, death is promised...E-mail me now: [email protected]”

I ignored it & I can see from a search on the internet that lots of people got the same thing.

[Groggy]

The death threats were on the TV the other night, police are chasing them down.

Regarding the Indian 'help desk' guys, I find a full blast of a referees whistle into the phone seems to fix things...funny to hear the antics/curses at the end of the phone as they try to pull off their headset and hang up at the same time.

[BobL]

I got one of those SMS Death Threats yesterday.

I received a text from a number that came up as +000000 that said "Sum1 paid me to kill you. get spared, 48hrs to pay $5000. If you inform the police or anybody, death is promised...E-mail me now: [email protected]”

Mate of mine who has the skills to send an anonymous reply sent the following.

"Thank you for your kind offer which has been forwarded to our agent [email protected] - who are willing to undertake said contract for substantial discount so I think I will go with them"

I also got one of those, "there is something wrong with your computer" calls and I kept responding with the word "yes" - it was very hard not to myself laughing. Caller was not indian but asian.

[lightwood]

I had the idiot trying the same trick on me last week, I asked him to check if I had a dynamic or static IP number, and if he could give me that number I would check he had the right computer, and to quote me my windows product ID number. Then I just started laughing at him...
I asked him if he thought I was as stupid as he was, sitting in a call center earning a few rupees a day. He got a little irate, and he told me he loved eating kangaroo, as if it was the worst insult he could say to me. I told him he should be very, very careful....please be very careful ....not to over cook it, it will spoil it by making it tough.

I called him a few choice names, and he threatened to blow up my house, my wife, my children and my dog....I just couldn't stop laughing at the goose. I reminded him he lives in the A - hole of the world, and nobody knows or cares about him, he is a complete nothing.


Peter

[floody_85]

The death threats were on the TV the other night, police are chasing them down.

Regarding the Indian 'help desk' guys, I find a full blast of a referees whistle into the phone seems to fix things...funny to hear the antics/curses at the end of the phone as they try to pull off their headset and hang up at the same time.

I just threatened them and told them that it's an offense for them to be accessing my system and I will sue them. They haven't rang since.

My wife received an sms saying that her full name matches the name of someone who is sole beneficiary of a large deceased estate worth 6 million pounds. It then listed a UK email address and asked her to provide her derails so they can transfer the money!!!

[lesmeyer]

The "microsoft" morons have called many times. I always tell then the flavour of Linux of sometimes it is apple mac. When they ask how I am I start the long story of how my day has been - they usually hang up pretty soon. I don't mind someone trying to make a living, but these are outright scams.
Les

[Wongo]

There is no need to say more than you need to. "No thanks bye" and back to the dinner table. :rolleyes:

[Mulgabill]

Yes I usually get one of those Microsoft calls a fortnight. On most occasions SWMBO answers as it is on the land line and most of my call come to my mobile. Anyhow, she usually give the a stock answer of "I have not got and computer and I would not know how to use one". All very true.:2tsup: And then hangs up.
I however have 3, one on Linux, one windoze and a dual boot laptop. On the one occasion I did answer the land line, I did lead them on a bit, and asked him what his qualifications were. The reply was that it did not matter. I asked was he a MCSE like me and then all I got was dial tone.:U

[Enfield Guy]

I don't even bother with "No thanks, Bye". I just hang up, or put the phone down with the speaker on and play with them.

[DavidG]

Can usually manage about half an hour before I start laughing. :U

[ozhunter]

We got a call the other day that came up Overseas as the caller ID, naturally didn't answer it. Went to the machine.

In an Indian accent -

This is the Australian Tax Office, we are holding a tax refund to the amount of $1855.98, please call this number and qoute this number and provide your details and the money will be sent to you - NOT

I watched a thing on the box a while ago that said the scammers are fully aware that 99% of people are smart enough to recognise a scam as such and hang up or delete, but the 1% that aren't so smart are enough to get them what they are after. Working on economy of scale I suppose.

BTW, I have just been left a bazillion dollars by a wealthy industrialist in Kenya, once I provide them with my bank details and ID, I'll get the money. So. look out for a vaccum of woodworking tools to occur, very shortly.:doh:

[swk]

I like to string them along sometimes for half hour, Thats 40 more people they can't annoy.
Get right up to their page to allow the access and then tell them where to go.

Fly,
I have a nephew, staying in a country town with my parents in the granny flat behind their house. At a bit of a loose end during weeknights and for similar philanthropic reasons to you (at least that's what he claims). Has taken to seeing how long he can hold them.

Record to date (including him having tea during) is over 2 1/2 hours !! :o :U

Regards
SWK

[artme]

Ordering acryy usually fixes the problem!:D

[Tonyz]

Ive just hung up from an Indian young lady who introduced herself
" hello Iam Prisilla"

being very quick tonite I asked.
"Are you the queen of the desert"

complete confusion reigned I started telling her who Prisilla was but I lost the plot laughing too much.

I do feel sorry for them after all they are just doing a job and if succesful come out here and get jobs in the banks advising me what to do.

[_fly_]

Fly,
I have a nephew, staying in a country town with my parents in the granny flat behind their house. At a bit of a loose end during weeknights and for similar philanthropic reasons to you (at least that's what he claims). Has taken to seeing how long he can hold them.

Record to date (including him having tea during) is over 2 1/2 hours !! :o :U

Regards
SWK
Tell him he's a legend, I couldn't go that far.

[lightwood]

We got a call the other day that came up Overseas as the caller ID, naturally didn't answer it. Went to the machine.

In an Indian accent -

This is the Australian Tax Office, we are holding a tax refund to the amount of $1855.98, please call this number and qoute this number and provide your details and the money will be sent to you - NOT

I watched a thing on the box a while ago that said the scammers are fully aware that 99% of people are smart enough to recognise a scam as such and hang up or delete, but the 1% that aren't so smart are enough to get them what they are after. Working on economy of scale I suppose.

BTW, I have just been left a bazillion dollars by a wealthy industrialist in Kenya, once I provide them with my bank details and ID, I'll get the money. So. look out for a vaccum of woodworking tools to occur, very shortly.:doh:
Ozhunter,
About 5 years ago I needed to call the tax office for discussion about my business and personal tax affairs, and the first person I spoke to was sympathetic and said some documents needed to be received, and an officer would contact me in a few days.

Sure enough, a few days later I got a call from a lady with a strong Indian accent, claiming to be from the taxation office. She started out with her intro...and quickly said...." I am actually calling you from the office in Albury, not from India" and we both had and a little chuckle. She told me plenty of people just hang up on her without saying a word.
It made a very light-hearted start to what could have been a very difficult conversation.
I got, from her, a VERY sympathetic hearing, and lengthy terms in my favour. I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome, as I had expected the whole weight of the Taxation Department to come crashing down on me.

Regards,
Peter

[Sebastiaan56]

I feel for these people, its a hard way to make a living I reckon, particularly if they are on commission. Still enough people pay up to make it worth while.

We just tell them that my dad is busy with the neighbours wife.

[jimbur]

I'm fortunate in that I don't seem to get these nuisance calls at home but I'm not surprised that a proportion of the population get sucked in. One thing that drives me mad is the number of people who are willing to pass around hoax warnings of viruses via email. They never check on the veracity and never send blind carbon copy.
Cheers,
Jim

[Bob38S]

Sick to death of these parasites who try to prey on the gullible, elderly or mentally challenged in our society.

Most pleasing thing I read years ago was that call centre workers were going on stress leave because they were dealing with too many abusive Australians - I say, ring me on the phone I pay for and have put in for my benefit and try to sell or solicit something then do so at your ear's peril.

What has worked the best for me is after the usual opening blurb - I interrupt with a question -

"Are you interested in travel?"

To this I get a variety of positive answers including how much they would like to come to Australia.

I then ask the second question "Are you interested in sex?"

This usually brings a "pregnant pause" - I have even had a "Yes" in reply.

I then close with "Well then, why don't you F... Off!"

Not a usual word in my vocabulary and certainly not one I would normally use in mixed company, but, this works every time and closes the conversation with a very satisfying [to me] clunk - I'm beyond caring what they think.

I don't buy the argument that they are only doing a job and deserve better treatment etc - I could go on etc but you get the idea.

[Chief Tiff]

The other day I had the "hello I'm from microsoft" call; the thing that interested me was that they knew my name.

They told me I had a problem with my computer, I asked "which one, I have 3?"

"Your main one sir"

"Which Windows operating system?"

"Windows 7 sir"

"That's not my main computer but nevermind. Please tell me the Windows license number so I can check"

Beepbeepbeepbeepbeep........

I don't have a listed number, very rarely give out any phone numbers and I'm on the "Do not call" register so generally if someone knows my details I pay them a little bit of attention....if only to find out how they got my number in the first place :rolleyes:

Had I not read about this scam in this forum; who knows maybe I would have been one of the unlucky 1% who get sucked in. We all like to believe we are far too smart to get caught, but...............

[Allan at Wallan]

We get about three calls per week with the same deal,
"having trouble with computer, Microsoft etc".

They ask for me by name so my wife and I have the same
answer, 'Hold the line I will get him".

Leave the phone off the hook for 10 minutes then check
it. Same thing every time ... they have gone.

Works for us.

Allan

[bsrlee]

Haven't had any of those calls since I told one that the Federal Police were monitoring all calls to my number.

Try asking them for their ABN :U

[Bushmiller]

An elderly friend of ours in town received a call saying that her computer was running slow. The caller took her through a number of steps, which she went along with.

Finally she informed him that she didn't actually own a computer.............:cool:

Regards
Paul

[old pete]

Hi Folks,

I try to be helpful to the hard workers from the sub-continent. I ask them to shift their focus away from IT issues and re-focus them on what they desperately need to about the state of their test cricket team. At least that's productive for them.:roll:

Cheers Old Pete

[12bolts]

I try to be helpful to the hard workers from the sub-continent. I ask them to shift their focus away from IT issues and re-focus them on what they desperately need to about the state of their test cricket team.

Yep, that, or if its in the evening, I tell them I am having trouble cooking a curry and ask them for advice, or a good recipe to use next time! Or if I havent got the time to waste I get my one of kids to chat with them for a while. They love stringing them along.

Cheers Phil

[fenderbelly]

Sick to death of these parasites who try to prey on the gullible, elderly or mentally challenged in our society.

Most pleasing thing I read years ago was that call centre workers were going on stress leave because they were dealing with too many abusive Australians - I say, ring me on the phone I pay for and have put in for my benefit and try to sell or solicit something then do so at your ear's peril.

What has worked the best for me is after the usual opening blurb - I interrupt with a question -

"Are you interested in travel?"

To this I get a variety of positive answers including how much they would like to come to Australia.

I then ask the second question "Are you interested in sex?"

This usually brings a "pregnant pause" - I have even had a "Yes" in reply.

I then close with "Well then, why don't you F... Off!"

Not a usual word in my vocabulary and certainly not one I would normally use in mixed company, but, this works every time and closes the conversation with a very satisfying [to me] clunk - I'm beyond caring what they think.

I don't buy the argument that they are only doing a job and deserve better treatment etc - I could go on etc but you get the idea.

A few days ago after reading this thread i got "The Call "
and responded as above.

It worked a treat

[Ashore]

I have two methods of answering
1... short on time ....tell them my mother was a gypsy and I curse them and one member of their family will did because of what they are doing
2 ... Plenty of time put on speaker and lead them on , this is usually when I'm working on the puter, after about 20 minutes I tell them I don't have any underwear on and are they excited because I am , then ask ( if there still there) if their wearing any underwear never had to ask any more because they all have hung up by then ..........ahaaa...the joy of having time to kill.

[Bob38S]

A few days ago after reading this thread i got "The Call "
and responded as above.

It worked a treat

Seems a shame that we have to resort to this on our own phone but as I said before - it works and I have not [to my knowledge] had any repeat callers from the same source.

I have in the past tried all sorts of niceties but this seems to encourage them.

While I'm at it - have had some calls from "Charities" - when reminded [politely] that they have called a "Do Not Call Number" to be told "That does not apply to us." My answer to them is that it does to me unless they can tell me how much of every dollar they collect actually goes to the group they are collecting for - in the main, they claim not to know or try to gloss over it or simply refuse to say.

Some research I did a while ago varies considerably from 80 cents to as low as 50 cents in the $ actually gets to the supposed recipient. I would rather donate directly than pay these vultures.