Irish Daughter

[Baz]

The Irishman's daughter had not been to the house for
> over 5 years.
>
> Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have
> you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you
> write us, not even a line to let us know how you were
> doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't
> you know what you put your Mum through??!!"
>
> The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I
> became a prostitute..."
>
> "WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner!
> You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want
> to see you again!"
>
> "Okay, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom
> this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed
> mansion, plus a savings account certificate for 5
> million pounds. For my little brother, this gold
> Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the spanking new Mercedes
> limited edition convertible that's parked outside,
> plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club .
> (takes a breath) .. and an invitation for you all to
> spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the
> Riviera, and...."
>
> "Now what was it you said you had become?"
>
> The girl, crying again, replied, "Sniff, sniff .. A
> prostitute Dad! . Sniff, sniff ."
>
> "Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I
> thought you said "a Protestant". Come here and give
> your old man a hug!"