Wonderful stats

[Peter R]

Some serious and not so serious statistics to ponder.

5% of the population between 15 and 65 years of age are on Disability Support Pensions. 12% of the population between 15 and 65 years of age have a Disability Parking Exemption.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon13.gif

John Howard is trying to redefine work. He say that if you can work 15 hours per week you can be sent to any part of the country to do so. This is a means to get the DSP recipients off the Federal payroll. However, the DSP says that you can not drive more than a 100k from your home.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon13.gif

If your parents did not have children, it is a better than good chance that you won't either.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

I got such a shock when I was born I couldnt speak for a year and a half.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

Hi fellas, happy NY.

Peter R.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

[Sturdee]

Here are two more.


If someone works 1 hour a week they are classified by Centrelink as a parttime worker, albeit needing income support, and no longer unemployed. Thus that person is not included in the unemployment statistics that the government claims to be so wonderful. :mad:

This is the 71st post that mentions pancakes. :D :D :D :D


Peter.

[echnidna]

.... I got such a shock when I was born I couldnt speak for a year and a half.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

Hi fellas, happy NY.

Peter R.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif

I suppose the midwife attending went on the DSP as a result. :D :D :D :D

[ozwinner]

Another statistic is, if you can eat pancakes you cant be disabled.

72
Al :D

[Grunt]

3 out of 4 monkeys are wankers. Most of them eat pancakes.

73
Grunt :D

[silentC]

I hate to bring this up but at least 90% of people who died in aircraft crashes in the last 10 years had eaten pancakes at some time in the past.

74

[Daddles]

67.34% of all statistics used in presentations are made up on the spot.

Richard

[HappyHammer]

2% of the worlds pancakes are claimed to have an image of christ clearly visible on them. 99% of these are in Florida.

75.

HH.

[journeyman Mick]

Statistics:
If it takes 1 man two days to build a wall of a given size it will take 2 men 1 day to build a wall of the same size.
Therefore if it takes 1 ship 2 weeks to cross the Atlantic it will take 2 ships 1 week to cross the same ocean. :confused: ;)

"There are three types of lies: Lies, damned lies and statistics" - Winston Churchill

Mick

[DaveInOz]

I don't own a dog.


If I did, it would have fleas.


oooooohhhhhhhh NURSE, my tablets please.

[silentC]

Statistics:
If it takes 1 man two days to build a wall of a given size it will take 2 men 1 day to build a wall of the same size.
Therefore if it takes 1 ship 2 weeks to cross the Atlantic it will take 2 ships 1 week to cross the same ocean.
Working on large projects that are falling behind, managers often think the way to speed things up is to hire more people. They don't take into account the extra time it will take to get them familiarised, to coordinate the work, and to answer all of the questions. It can actually end up taking longer. I used to say to them "a woman can give birth to one baby in nine months but nine women cannot give birth to one baby in one month." :rolleyes:

[HappyHammer]

Working on large projects that are falling behind, managers often think the way to speed things up is to hire more people. They don't take into account the extra time it will take to get them familiarised, to coordinate the work, and to answer all of the questions. It can actually end up taking longer. I used to say to them "a woman can give birth to one baby in nine months but nine women cannot give birth to one baby in one month." :rolleyes:
My solution is to beat the existing resources with a carrot.:D

HH.

[himzol]

My solution is to beat the existing resources with a carrot.:D

HH.


wrapped in a pancake? :confused:

76
:D

[Wongo]

Thank you for calling the department of ……..
If you want to .……... press 1
If …….. press 2
…
…
…
If you do not understand English and wish to speak to an interpreter, press 7. :p




Working on large projects that are falling behind, managers often think the way to speed things up is to hire more people. They don't take into account the extra time it will take to get them familiarised, to coordinate the work

100% right Silent. That drives me mad every time. My manager has no idea about programming. “Should we get 2 contractors to work on it?” By the time you let them know what is going on we could have finished it ourselves. Oh she is so stupid. How did she get up there? :mad:

[HappyHammer]

Ah yes Wongo but when she asks the question do you commit to having it finished in the time it would take to explain and communicate fully the error of her ways so that she may learn for next time ?

HH.

[HappyHammer]

How did she get up them? :mad:
Sounds like she got up you mate.:D :D

[Peter R]

100% right Silent. That drives me mad every time. My manager has no idea about programming. “Should we get 2 contractors to work on it?” By the time you let them know what is going on we could have finished it ourselves. Oh she is so stupid. How did she get up there? :mad:
I found that if I was given sufficient time to finish a project it would be late simply because I thought that I had been given sufficient time, which made me take my time so I would be late....Ahhhhhhh? Oh! You know what I mean.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon7.gif

So I would sit down and have a feed of pancakes!! Save this one in case we get to 99 and want one more for the ton, statistically speaking that is.http://www.woodworkforums.ubeaut.com.au/images/icons/icon10.gif