parrotted

[Biggles73]

A guy recieved a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a expletive. Those that wern't expletives were, to say the least, rude. He tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example.
Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute.
he was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto his extended arm and said, "I believe that I might have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."
he was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

[A Duke]

Hi Biggles73,
Welcome to the Forum, it's about time you posted to some thing else oter than the jokes to get your post count going, you've been posting for weeks and are still at 0 because jokes don't count.
Regards

[Carry Pine]

That's a goodie, Biggles. The kids at school loved that one. If you are a really good boy, I'll tell you the one about the parrot and the magician.

Graham

[Biggles73]

well, I'm trying to be good...

[Carry Pine]

OK Biggles. It's another kids joke.

An old lady takes a cruise and takes along her parrot. She takes the parrot to entertainment night where they have a magician. The magician holds up a bunch of flowers, says the magic word and the flowers disappear. But the parrot says (in a parrot voice) they're up his sleeve, they're up his sleeve- and guess what? You can just see the flowers poking out.
He shows everyone a white rabbit, says the magic word and it's gone again. But the parrot says: In his hat, in his hat. And you guessed it- the rabbit is there in the hat.
For his final trick he asks for a young girl to come forward. he puts his cloak over her head, taps it with the wand- and she is gone. The crowd is really amazed at this until the parrot says: behind the curtain, behind the curtain. And there are two little feet sticking out and everyone can see them.
Well the magician gos to the captain and wants the parrot banned from the performance the next night. The old lady is there too and argues that she must have the parrot as a companion. The wise captain compromises by saying she can take the parrot to entertainment night but in a cage and the cage must be covered with a black sheet so the parrot cannot see out.
Next night. She walks in with the parrot and dutifully covers the cage with a black sheet. the magician starts his act. But just then, the ship hits an iceberg and sinks.
Lots of lives lost but floating on a log is the magician and also floating by is the parrot who says:


OK, I give up, Where's the ship? Where's the ship?

Graham

[Rodgera]

Carry - Its time to give up

[Carry Pine]

He asked for the joke. Wasn't my choice!

Graham

[Rodgera]

He asked for the joke. Wasn't my choice!

Graham

Touche

[Carry Pine]

Then there was the one about the plumber who came into do some work in a house when the owner was away and the owner had a vicious German Shepherd and a parrot. But the plumber didn't need to worry......................

anyone interested? I know it's an old one.

Graham