The Campain Launch

[Grunt]

The Tupperware Party is having their Campain Launch in the next few days. We still haven't got a full list of spokes persons.

The shadow cabinet so far is:

Ozwinner - PM
Zed - Dewputy Pwiminister
Grunt - Animal Affairs and Over 75's


We need nominations for other portfolios.

Grunt - Campain Manager and Complete Wanker

[Dean]

Ive got broken tupperware. Where do I get replacements under the lifetime warranty? :p

[echnidna]

Can I be Vice-President.
I really would love being in charge of all that Vice

[Zed]

SilentC - Minister for Opinions, Coffee, books, random subjects & pontification... :-)

[silentC]

You forgot poultry, Zed :p

[Zed]

SilentC - FOTFPML (flat on the floor pissn' meself laughin'!!!!)

[Grunt]

Ive got broken tupperware. Where do I get replacements under the lifetime warranty?


Our main policy is to have Tupperware for all. No need for a safety net.

[Gumby]

I nominate Noora, Minister for foreign affairs :eek:

[Termite]

I nominate Rocker for Chairman

[Wood Borer]

for the Attorney General

[Zed]

No should be the chairman of Dept of Fair trading or the ACCC.

[Wood Borer]

I'll concede that if Christopha can be Minister for Diplomatic Affairs

[Zed]

in my capacity as dweputy pwiminsiter I will allow your boon woodborer.

[Termite]

I'll concede that if Christopha can be Minister for Diplomatic Affairs

What about Minister for entertainment

[craigb]

What about Minister for entertainment

Al can have that portfolio too :D

[Wood Borer]

Who is going to take this job though?

http://www.jobs.qld.gov.au/Search/JobDetail.asp?jobid=36119

[DanP]

Rocker is the Chairman. We can put him in a swinging seat. :D

Dan

[Grunt]

Who is going to take this job though?

That's definitely another job for . He already ensures that everyone complies. :D

[ozwinner]

Ok. Ive been thinking about this all day

Midge, minister for boats and Subs.
Stinky, minister for planing.
Mick, minister for fires and tourism, and RAS.
, minister for administration and axes.
Stoppers, minister for diplomatic affairs.
Neil, minister for communications.
WB, minister for birds.


Im out of ideas at the moment, stay tuned to this station.
We'll be right back after these massages.

Al :p

[ozwinner]

Second hand dealers and prostitution are lumped under the same catergory as far as the ATO are conserned. :eek:


Al :D

[Sturdee]

Ok. I've been thinking about this all day



If you want to be PM you better stop doing that. Prime Ministers just do what the're told.


Peter.

[ozwinner]

Sturdee, Diplomatic attache to France.


Al

[Wood Borer]

Al,

Is this it?

Birds - Flying things - Planes

[ozwinner]

Very good.

But no.
I was thinking along the lines of DT's.

But minister of transport it is. :)

Al

[Wood Borer]

Do I get a gold pass for the No 75 Tram after I retire?

[ozwinner]

No, but I can get you a new hip replacement.


Al

[bitingmidge]

Sturdee, Diplomatic attache to France.

Nah... Sturdee should head up the war ministry :eek:!

Joe the Seppo could be leader of the opposition (Where is Joe?)

Ralph could be the backbencher in charge of Question Time!

Soundman could be the Speaker of the house.

Wayne Davy would be a sitter for the Weather portfolio.

Shane could be a spy, monitoring all incoming posts!!

What about an opposition really, and what about a bit of equal opportunity here boys and girls??




:D :D :D
P

[vsquizz]

I'd like to make the shadow cabinet (I made a shadow board once). But what do I make it out of???. I was thinking chipboard, (no backbone)...???. And maybe a new medic (care) cabinet. I saw the old one a while back, it seems everybody keep ramming money into it but its coming apart at the joints...They should have been dovetailed.

Oh.. and I think Driver should be the minister for transport...or Ambassador to France..have to have a few sandgropers on the front bench you know.

Cheers

[Grunt]

Gemi-babe should be Minister for Rats & Mice. It'll get a female and a sandgroper on the front bench at the same time. Kill two stones with one bird.

[vsquizz]

I was thinking the Al and Midge could form the ministry for De-railing but in hindsight I think Bob Carr has done a pretty good job in that regard.:D

I was also going to ask if I could nominate SWMBO for Whip but I thought that this may draw too many illicit responses from some of the nominees so I wont mention that....:eek:


Cheers

[Wood Borer]

We will need a Governor General too - how about Neil?

He looks distinguished and statesman like, plus he could flog some polish and the bible to the Poms when he visits the Queen. This would help pay for his trips and ease the tax burden on our subjects.

[craigb]

Jackiew for Minister of Consumer Affairs ?

[AlexS]

Who is going to take this job though?

http://www.jobs.qld.gov.au/Search/JobDetail.asp?jobid=36119

I'd like the job, but I can't afford to pay $62k a year for it!

[Grunt]

Hovo for the Minister for Spelling

[Sturdee]

Nah... Sturdee should head up the war ministry :eek:!



War ministry is okay. Remember the best defence is offence. :D

But can the Sepo / Oz alliance cope ? If not we'll have to attack them first. :D

Peter.

[ozwinner]

Maybe I could appoint myself as minister of Da Fence.


Al :D

[Cliff Rogers]

G'day.

I'm almost home from Italy, I'll be there for the election...
currently sitting in a Club Lounge in Hong Kong. :rolleyes:

Can I be attached to the ministery for Foriegn Affairs? Huh? Huh? Can I???? :D

I know all about Coffee, Wine, Pizza, Pasta, running to catch the train,
driving on the wrong side of the road, getting un-lost again, shoe shopping, & Aiport Lounges.
I even did 4 hours of Grape picking in Faedis & I now know HEAPS more Italian words. :cool:

[Sturdee]

As the next war minister I have been preparing the battle plan for when we take over from the mob of little Johnies. :D :D :D :D

On day 1 we assure the seppos of our good intentions. :eek:

On day 2 we launch a preemptive attack on them by taking back their bases on our land.

On day 3 as they fight back we capitulate.

On day 4 we gratefully accept the billions of dollars in aid the seppos always give to countries they defeat. (See Germany and Japan in 1945, later Afghanistan and now Iraq.)

On day 5 having received their moneys we abolish all taxes for woodworkers and give free tools and workshops to all Tupperware Party members. :D


Peter.

[Grunt]

Can I be attached to the ministery for Foriegn Affairs? Huh? Huh? Can I????

I know all about Coffee, Wine, Pizza, Pasta, running to catch the train,
driving on the wrong side of the road, getting un-lost again, shoe shopping, & Aiport Lounges.
I even did 4 hours of Grape picking in Faedis & I now know HEAPS more Italian words.

Sold, we need someone who knows their pasta in Foriegn Affairs.

[Grunt]

Sturdee,

That is a damn fine idea.

Even if the seppos don't give us any aid, I still think that the Tupperware Party members should get free workshops and tools.

Grunt

[vsquizz]

G'day.

I know all about Coffee, :cool:
Don't start that coffee thing again.

I'd officially like to nominate Al as the Parliamentry Secretary for the Sub-Branch of members with rough hands.


Cheers

[bitingmidge]

I'd officially like to nominate Al as the Parliamentry Secretary for the Sub-Branch of members with rough hands.

I reckon by now, after not touching bricks for a month his hands are getting to be pretty much like baby's bottoms...(soft and covered in you-know-what).

Which goes a long way to explaining the finishes he's getting on his latest objects d'art...he's rubbing his hands on them the way he always has, but they just aren't the same grit anymore.

Anyway, he'll love the hand lotion they provide in the cabinet loos.

:D :D :D

Cheers,

P

[ozwinner]

Yoohooo.


Al :D

[vsquizz]

Pete, He seems to be pointing at something in the second photo, do you think its the hand lotion container??


Cheers

[echnidna]

Ahah, The first of the new Australian Honours by PM Al.
The order of the horizontal finger

[Grunt]

Yup poofy hands

Suitable for the PM.

[bitingmidge]

Pete, He seems to be pointing at something in the second photo, do you think its the hand lotion container??

Just had to change me daks.. (wet 'em!)

Nah, I think in the race to touch up the photos in Photoshop to make 'em look more macho, he got a paper cut, and he's sort of clenching his middle finger to stop the stinging.

Oooohhh, I hope it's better before he rubs the lotion in, it could sting for a second!

Cheers,

P
:D :D :D

[vsquizz]

Kids an SWMBO want to know why Dad has been ROFL for last 5 minutes.:D

I actually think they are "stunt hands". They also use stunt parts in those videos that Al keeps under the counter at Plenty. :eek:

PS Apparently when asking for those videos you have to use a special code word... Don't know what it is myself.:D


Cheers

[Iain]

I get the picture, Minister of Proctology :o , or preparing for the secret Bob Brown handshake :rolleyes:

[bitingmidge]

You are absolutely right about the stunt hands Squizz, I did some homework:

I went back through the BB archives, to the time when the PM-elect was just a junk yard man, and pulled this genuine unretouched photo from the file.

I think it proves conclusively that the pictures posted previously were just a fake, the hand is merely just another bit of stock waiting to be sold. I don't reckon he can keep this blokey hand ruse going for much longer.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

What will become of him if the press get a hold of this????

Grunt, aren't you supposed to be minding him?

P
:cool: :cool: :cool:

[Grunt]

Damn, this is going to be known as the 'Hands Overboard' incident.

What dirt do we have on the other candiates? We need something to take the heat off Ozwinner.

Mind you, I just wish that Ozwinner would keep his hands to himself, so we don't have 'Spin' him out of trouble again.

[vsquizz]

STOP PRESS


Hands Overboard Scandal Rocks Tupperware

Party<O:p></O:p>

Melbourne Today: Would be Al Presidente (we’ll make it a republic) Al (wid de rough hands) Ozwinner of the previously squeaky clean Tupperware Party today denied all claims that since retiring from his previous job in the construction industry, his hands had become soft as babies bottoms and were not unlike that of his pasty faced suit wearing opposition. Mr Winner said this morning, at a hastily called Press Conference in, of all places, a junk shop, reading from an unprepared statement that “if you don’t like it you can sit on it” and produced the digit in question for the press gallery.

In an unrelated issue it is yet to be confirmed that an unknown old lady is to take legal action against Mr Winner. Apparently the lady is going to seek damages for allegedly being struck by a Spark Plug which emerged at great velocity from the would be president’s motor vehicle.

In yet further unsubstantiated scandal there are murmurs amongst the internet community of a circulating media which shows a lycra clad figure, purportedly the would be president. “Bollocks” was all the leader of the Tupperware Party had to say on this issue “I much prefer a leather strop”.<O:p></O:p>

[vsquizz]

Further to our breaking news story the leader of the opposition himself has made a rare public appearance and not to be outdone has displayed both his digits for the public.


http://www.funnyheck.com/images/ape.jpg

Party officials where adamant that they tried to get the president elect to have a shave beforehand but apparently he refused.

[Christopha]

Diplomatic Affairs? Hells Bells, does that mean I have to be NICE to the husbands as I leap from their bedroom windows instead of my current gale of insane laughter and cries of "Don't shoot, I'm old and frail!" :eek:

[vsquizz]

Hey Al, looks like we are gunna have a state election in the land of sand with two prize turkeys running for the top job. Have the Tupperware Party got a candidate??:D

Cheers

[vsquizz]

Or are we still suffering from the Hands Overboard Incident!