vsquizz
29th August 2004, 11:08 PM
Some may find this amusing. Brings back a few fond and not so fond memories for me nine years after I left the outfit;
30 THINGS WRONG WITH THE NAVY
1. I would like to be able to run the risk of getting up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning.
2. I don't like being told what to do in my trade by someone with a Bachelor of Arts degree.
3. My definition of fun is what the Navy calls "Prejudicial Behaviour".
>4. I would get more mail drops if I were in Paremoremo Maximum Security Prison.
>5. I like to choose who shares my bedroom. i.e. less than 15 other men I have never met.
>6. I don't like chasing my meals across the table.
>7. I have heard so much about weekends, I would like to try one.
>8. At my age I no longer feel there is a need for someone to inspect my bedroom, bathroom, lounge room and dictate to me how many beers I am allowed and when.
>9. I like the idea of dailling "000" as an immediate action upon discovering a fire.
>10. I feel silly having to wave an empty fire hose at a pretend fire only to be told I am doing it wrong by someone who studied Russian History at university.
>11. I can chuck $1 in any machine at Timezone and get just as many flashing lights and buzzers, and then go home.
>12. Paying for a holiday isn't such a sacrifice if, I get there quicker, get to choose the destination and don't have to work when I get there.
>13. I like to have my workmates learn my name by introduction rather than by looking at my right breast pocket.
>14. I like showering barefoot.
>15. It is difficult to feel safe at night in the knowledge that someone with three years studying Czechoslovakian politics behind them is determining the course of 3600 tonnes of metal, 35 000 shaft horsepower of donk and an arsenal of intruments of death.
>16. If I want to chuck a sickie, I don't what to have to come to work to prove it.
>17. I like to be able to get at my clothes without having to unlock them.
>18. I would like to read todays paper...TODAY.
>19. I would prefer the chain of command to be something my girlfriend uses on me in the bedroom.
>20. I feel there is no real need to know what time it is in Greenwich, England.
>21. I last gave up drinking out of plastic cups at age 4.
>22. I like walking to my lounge room safe in the knowledge that there will be a seat for me.
>23. I like my workplace to be driving distance, not up a ladder and down a passageway.
>24. I prefer my alarm clock waking me up as opposed to some d*#khead blowing on a whistle.
>25. I'd rather cook my own bad meals.
>26. I'd like to be able to have a cigarette in my own home even if there is an aircraft within a five mile radius.
>27. I would like to fuel my car while it is not moving.
>28. I'd prefer to have a fence around my swimming pool rather than a sentry watching it with a headset, a Steyr rifle and a bag of flares.
>29. I would prefer to get bad news from a policeman or family member rather than someone younger than me whom I have to address as "Sir".
>30. I would like to consult a professional about my health.
30 THINGS WRONG WITH THE NAVY
1. I would like to be able to run the risk of getting up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning.
2. I don't like being told what to do in my trade by someone with a Bachelor of Arts degree.
3. My definition of fun is what the Navy calls "Prejudicial Behaviour".
>4. I would get more mail drops if I were in Paremoremo Maximum Security Prison.
>5. I like to choose who shares my bedroom. i.e. less than 15 other men I have never met.
>6. I don't like chasing my meals across the table.
>7. I have heard so much about weekends, I would like to try one.
>8. At my age I no longer feel there is a need for someone to inspect my bedroom, bathroom, lounge room and dictate to me how many beers I am allowed and when.
>9. I like the idea of dailling "000" as an immediate action upon discovering a fire.
>10. I feel silly having to wave an empty fire hose at a pretend fire only to be told I am doing it wrong by someone who studied Russian History at university.
>11. I can chuck $1 in any machine at Timezone and get just as many flashing lights and buzzers, and then go home.
>12. Paying for a holiday isn't such a sacrifice if, I get there quicker, get to choose the destination and don't have to work when I get there.
>13. I like to have my workmates learn my name by introduction rather than by looking at my right breast pocket.
>14. I like showering barefoot.
>15. It is difficult to feel safe at night in the knowledge that someone with three years studying Czechoslovakian politics behind them is determining the course of 3600 tonnes of metal, 35 000 shaft horsepower of donk and an arsenal of intruments of death.
>16. If I want to chuck a sickie, I don't what to have to come to work to prove it.
>17. I like to be able to get at my clothes without having to unlock them.
>18. I would like to read todays paper...TODAY.
>19. I would prefer the chain of command to be something my girlfriend uses on me in the bedroom.
>20. I feel there is no real need to know what time it is in Greenwich, England.
>21. I last gave up drinking out of plastic cups at age 4.
>22. I like walking to my lounge room safe in the knowledge that there will be a seat for me.
>23. I like my workplace to be driving distance, not up a ladder and down a passageway.
>24. I prefer my alarm clock waking me up as opposed to some d*#khead blowing on a whistle.
>25. I'd rather cook my own bad meals.
>26. I'd like to be able to have a cigarette in my own home even if there is an aircraft within a five mile radius.
>27. I would like to fuel my car while it is not moving.
>28. I'd prefer to have a fence around my swimming pool rather than a sentry watching it with a headset, a Steyr rifle and a bag of flares.
>29. I would prefer to get bad news from a policeman or family member rather than someone younger than me whom I have to address as "Sir".
>30. I would like to consult a professional about my health.