Bah Humbug am I a grumpy old man

[Phil Spencer]

For the past 35 years Christmas has been something to endure with in-laws and outlaws, In the past there has always been hassles about where to have lunch and usually the sister in-law wins and we have to also endure all her family as well, usually we sit quietly in the corner and listen to all the malicious gossip and innuendoes.

Last year was the final straw my wife gave her father his Christmas present and he said what 'SH*T is this, also as my wife now has a disability her family (brother, father, mother and sister in-law) have trouble accepting her and now treat her as some sort of freak, sister in- law's attitude has me confused as she works with disabled people.

This year we decided that we had had enough and told every one that we have decided to just stay at home and have a quiet day together. Some how this has gone down like a Led Zeppelin, in past years we have felt distinctly unwelcome and now we are spoiling Christmas.

The other thing that has happened is my daughter has decided that she wants to call in on Christmas morning and also wants to come around on Christmas Eve to watch the carols, her partner has spat the dummy and said that mummy has demanded that they go there on Christmas Eve and spend all Christmas day whith her, we have said that we understand do what ever you are comfortable with we don't mind, once again some how we have been accused of spoiling his Christmas by him and his mother.

All we wanted to do this year was to have a quiet Christmas together and not have to endure al the family politics and crap that goes with it.

I think my other daughter who lives an alternate life style has the right idea, they celebrate Christmas at Winter Solstice and every one leaves then alone.

Am I becoming a grumpy old man?

[Avery]

Phil,

having spent the last 30 odd years with many of the same experiences as you, this year I will spend much of Chrismas day in my shed. We will have a nice lunch at home, my son and his partner may or may not be there and if anyone else wants to share a Christmas wish , they are more than welcome. Other than that , it's the shed.

Later in the afternoon , when I knock the top of an ale, I shall raise the first glass to you.

Merry Christmas Phil!

Duncan.

[acmegridley]

Im spending christmas on my own,wife has gone east to babysit for a month so far has been great,get up when I like,hit the hay when I like,go wherever I want,I must admit I turn into a grouch come Christmas when all that money is being wasted,always said I'd like to spend it on my own,so now have got my wish,I havn't been near a shop,except for staples like bread and milk.:2tsup:

[Scribbly Gum]

Phil, life is too short to have spent 35 years putting up with that crap.
If people want to be miserable they can do it on their own. You needn't let them saddle you with their misery.
They know where you live and if they want to be part of a joyous and peaceful time, they can contact you.
Otherwise enjoy the day and the season in the way we are meant to, and re-charge your batteries for the coming year. You never know, you might now actually enjoy Xmas and this could become a habit.
Happy holidays
SG:2tsup::2tsup::2tsup:

[Woodwould]

No Phil, I don't believe you're a grumpy old git.

I really used to enjoy family Christmases back home. Everyone came, we all sat round a huge table and it was tremendous fun.

I now detest Christmas and everything it stands for. I'm not in the least religious, but if I were, I could not reconcile Christianity with the modern interpretation of Christmas - it's nothing more than a massive commercial enterprise with little Christian connotation. Children – and adults - greedily tear open multiple presents, without a thought or concern for what is supposedly being celebrated. More food is bought and consumed than many less fortunate families eat in a month. Relatives appear from all arts and parts with pathetic offerings, mank and moan about their lives and then scurry off from whence they came until the following Christmas. Thousands of cheap cards depicting unrealistic and irrelevant pictures and symbols are sent and then dumped. More paper waste is created at Christmas than any other time of the year, yet councils do little to ensure the surplus is recycled.

I don't send cards and haven't for some years. Our grandchildren receive one substantial present each (usually an educational game or book – no toys, electronic or otherwise). For everyone else, we send an email advising them of which animal charity we have donated to on their behalf. This year, we have sponsored a Pet Pen (http://www.aaps.org.au/help/sponsorpen.html) at our local Australian Animal Protection Society animal shelter at Greensborough for a period of twelve months.

I normally stay out of the annual family arrangements, but in the face of unbelievable belligerence this year, I announced I was going to the local hotel for a meal and anyone that wanted to join me was welcome! We have a booking for four on Christmas Eve and I'm actually looking forward to it. I'll be spending Christmas Day and Boxing Day on my own and again, I'm looking forward to it - I will spend a good proportion of the time on the phone to my children and grandchildren back home.

[Sebastiaan56]

Hi Phil,

I agree with what others have said, life is too short to spend time with people who dont want you there, Im getting a lot more selective as I get older and its just not worth the angst putting up with BS. I dont think you are grumpy, just sensible.

Hey Woody, I made boxes for the kids and some whistles and old toys like woomeras and clackers. If they dont like it they miss out. I had fun making them :D

[rrich]

Phil,

I went through that poop for may years also. It all started with a spat with the Mother In law about Christmas time 1967. We did not really speak for at least 30 years. (I can't remember exactly when the old witch died. No I didn't spell it correctly but this isn't "Open Slather".) The funny thing is that dad (Father in law) and I got along fabulously! I didn't realize it until a year after his death that I was one of his sons, just not biological.

The rest of the in laws understood the spat after a few years and I was treated as one of them and I never did deal with MIL again. It is a system that worked for me. Perhaps it is something that you could try. It is fun to assume that the offending in law is an invisible mute.

(So, I'm sick. What did you expect from a Yank? :D )

[fxst]

For the past 35 years Christmas has been something to endure with in-laws and outlaws, In the past there has always been hassles about where to have lunch and usually the sister in-law wins and we have to also endure all her family as well, usually we sit quietly in the corner and listen to all the malicious gossip and innuendoes.

Last year was the final straw my wife gave her father his Christmas present and he said what 'SH*T is this, also as my wife now has a disability her family (brother, father, mother and sister in-law) have trouble accepting her and now treat her as some sort of freak, sister in- law's attitude has me confused as she works with disabled people.

This year we decided that we had had enough and told every one that we have decided to just stay at home and have a quiet day together. Some how this has gone down like a Led Zeppelin, in past years we have felt distinctly unwelcome and now we are spoiling Christmas.

The other thing that has happened is my daughter has decided that she wants to call in on Christmas morning and also wants to come around on Christmas Eve to watch the carols, her partner has spat the dummy and said that mummy has demanded that they go there on Christmas Eve and spend all Christmas day whith her, we have said that we understand do what ever you are comfortable with we don't mind, once again some how we have been accused of spoiling his Christmas by him and his mother.

All we wanted to do this year was to have a quiet Christmas together and not have to endure al the family politics and crap that goes with it.

I think my other daughter who lives an alternate life style has the right idea, they celebrate Christmas at Winter Solstice and every one leaves then alone.

Am I becoming a grumpy old man?

YES!!!!!!:2tsup::D

[Woodwould]

Hey Woody, I made boxes for the kids and some whistles and old toys like woomeras and clackers. If they dont like it they miss out. I had fun making them :D

Good for you! If it wasn't so dear to post large items overseas, I would do the same. I'm not tight, but I refuse to pay up to twice the value of a present in postage.

We do send some books by mail from here (Animalia was one as it's an Australian classic - I subsequently saw it for sale in the UK :doh:), but for the most part, I buy on-line and have the stuff sent to my son who then has to wrap it, but he's OK with that.

[Sebastiaan56]

double post..l. how did that happen?

[jerryc]

Well now Phil you have opened the floodgates on"Happy Christmas".
It's best you remember that you choose your friends but are lumbered with family.
The wife and I had one daughter together with husband and two grand children over yesterday for lunch. Her mother in law selfishly insists SHE has the family around her on Christmas day. We had a great lunch and daughter took it on herself to tidy up the back and front verandahs, because she felt her mum had too much to do looking after me. Now that was a great additional present because she didn't have to do it.
Other daughter and husband are in Brisbane but we could still have a great chat together before they go off sailing over the holiday with the grandchildren.
As a family we have never placed great emphasis on Christmas. Yes when the kids were little Christmas day was important to them but now we don't make a great fuss. In fact we were laughing when I told them about our youth in UK. The bleedin' great turkey which you ate for days after. The obligatory christmas pudding and custard that sent every to sleep in the afternoon still wearing those ridiculous paper hats. No life moves on and christmas is like all the other marketing ploys -mother's day-father's day and Santa Claus.
No Phil you are not a GOM. Oh and happy christmas

Jerry:santahat:

[Kev Y.]

Hey Phil, are you sure you were talking about YOUR life and not mine???

I have had more than enough of the christmas cheer.. and will be quite happy to see the day after christmas. I mentioned to a friend that another good thing about the 25th of December was that 4 months later it was ANZAC day..

My kids have asked what I want, my partner has asked, and asked, and asked what I want. All got the same answer, a bit of recognition.

BAH HUMBUG does not begin to express my feelings towards this comercialised holiday.

[Gingermick]

Are you not allowed to be a GOM? That's what I want to be and lord knows I've started well.
Merry Christmas, enjoy your time, whatever you're doing
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[snowyskiesau]

I'll be spending Christmas alone which is how I like it.
No special meals or drinks. I'll be no grumpier than I am at the moment.

The only real impact it may have on me is I don't know if I should put my bin out on Thursday night..

[Kev Y.]

The only real impact it may have on me is I don't know if I should put my bin out on Thursday night..

Just to be on the safe side.. I would. :B

[Foo]

Hi Phil,
Nothing wrong with what you wont.We travel two years in a row,to other family members,for either Christmas day or Boxing day for a get together.Then they know I refuse to go anywhere the following year.
I have a t-shirt with Grumpy Old Men on it that I wear,and get quite a few remarks about it,when I go out.:U
You only become grumpy when people get under your skin!:~

Merry Christmas everyone:santajump: and have a safe New year.:newyear:

[Phil Spencer]

I have purchased some pizza stones for the BBQ, ham and other Christmas stuff even got some Turkey for the dog. Its going to be a pleasant Christmas day, the In-laws and Outlaws can go and play their games and gossip without us, me Rhonda and the dog will have a nice day to our selves and I intend to raise a glass to all the Forum members.


124850

[Rattrap]

Well it pleases me no end to read that the wife & i are not the only ones to have gone thru this very same sh*t. We have been having xmas on our own since moving to Tasmania in blissful harmony - just so long as we leave the phone off the hook.
My advice, move to a different state. lol.

[rrobor]

I think, Truth be known, thats about par for the lot of us.
Its the season to be jolly.
Well its not jolly getting lumbered in whatever way you got lumbered. No I think you just got it about correct.

[Cliff Rogers]

....

Am I becoming a grumpy old man?
Yup, get a badge & wear it with pride. :2tsup:

[munruben]

Whatever is right for you is right for you. Millions of people all over the world get together at this one time in a year to just take time out and be together as a family again. I remember back in the old days in the UK when all my aunts and uncles would get together at my Granmothers house for Christmas. We, as children, would meet all our cousins who we hadn't seen for weeks or months and we would all be together. I might mention that my grandmother had 11 children so you can imagine the size of the "get together" All and sundry seemed to enjoy themselves in their own way. Sure there were gripes about what had happened throughout the year but most of the family cared enough to listen to others stories and gripes.
The only presents that were given was to my Grandmother and Granfather from everyone in the family. Other family members only received gifts from their respective parents or their own children. I guess cost would have been a deciding factor in this arrangement.

I,for one, cherish the memories of those Christmas "get together" days, I'ts all gone now, All those brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, including my own mother and father, now dead. What would I give now to go back in time and just re-live one of those Christmas days with all the family together.
It was a very special occasion in those days and today I feel the family unti has lost some of its special meaning. Christmas is too commercial today and there is no real Christmas spirit as in days of yesteryear.

I remember walking down the streets back in the UK around Christmas time and you would be greeted by eveyone with a smile and Merry Christmas but that all seems to have been lost in the commercialism of Christmas.
No, it isn't the same any more, for me anyway. My son and his family will probably call in for a short visit over the Christmas period and my daughter, who lives with me and my wife, will just go about doing their every day routine as usual. My wife and I will go over to a friends house after Christmas dinner as usual and spend a few hours with them.

No you are not an old grouch. if thats the way you fee,l then do you own thing and enjoy your Christmas. There are many people out there who would just love the opportunity to have a family to visit on Christmas day..I think a lot depends on ones own attitude as to whether you are going to enjoy anything, including a party or whatever it is. If you go somewhere with an attitude of." I am going to hate this" then you will not enjoy it anyway.
So having had my two bobs worth, the bottom line to each and eveyone is to enjoy your Christmas, your way, and then, you can't blame anyone else for anything.

Merry Christmas to one and all.

[Enfield Guy]

Well said Munruben. Couldnt agree more. I stopped doing xmas a few years ago and it caused a hell of a fuss with a few people. The same ones who would sit around the xmas dinner table and rave about how good it was to see everybody and then proceed to stab them in the back at first opportunity. Not a very genuine sort of approach really!!!

I decided that I don't need a particular day of the year to tell the ones I love, that I love them. I do so regularly and will continue to do so. Nor do I need to associate and pretend to like those that I don't. I prefer to be true to myself and my friends and family.

Must go and do some shopping for my elderly father, he has just thought of a couple of things he wishes to cook for tomorrow. 2.30 xmas eve, should be fun.

James Brown, the talented , legend musician died on 25 dec a couple of years ago, so here's an idea. For those that choose to not participate in xmas, why not participate in JAMES BROWN DAY, I know I will be.

Cheers

[hughie]

Well I guess I 'm the exception, had all the family over as per usual ( been doing it for 28years or so ). Much fun and laughter, grandkids racing around every where.
A few beers on the side :U and as per usual one or two close friends drop by for the extended lunch and a Nanna nap about 3 o'clockish to get ready to go again in the evening :2tsup:

[mjmjm]

Xmas and I parted company about 40 years ago. Must say I haven't missed it. It probably hasn't missed me either.

[Rossluck]

I'm with you, Phil. The strange thing about Christmas Day is that the lead up to it is so stressful. By the time it arrives everyone's tired and ready to spark up a bit. Then the whole thing becomes a sort of "behavior examination" where we firstly make a note of who has participated and who hasn't, then we analyse the quality of the excuses for not participating, then we turn to the ones who are participating and test out their perceived attitudes towards us collected during the year, and so on. Add alcohol, and it's no wonder there are spin-outs everywhere.

For people who generally don't get on, maybe a better idea is to have families spending Christmas alone and quietly, and have family get together's in the days following. I don't know. Anyway, I had a great Christmas day with some nice people. I won't even begin to tell you about some of the Christmastimes of the past ten years. :rolleyes:

[Poppa]

I have little kids, so Christmas is a big day for us at the moment, and I live with my in-laws (don't ask!) so I get that joy every year unless we are away at my folks place. The kids get a kick out of it, and I like it because of that, but I spent most of Christmas day in the workshop this year as well, a bit before lunch and then most of the afternoon, so I felt quite spoilt.

If the big family Christmas do happens we go along and I drink beer until the pain stops, then sleep on the way home while my wife drives. That works for me.... :wink:

[46150]

Hooray.....I thought it was just me that couldnt put up with the over comerciallised crap thrown down my throat..................AL

[.RC.]

You can pick your friends, but you cannot pick your relatives (you just don't claim them) :)

[Gingermick]

you can, however, pick on them or pick at their foibles :)

[Daddles]

There is a lot of stress and bulldust about Christmas and that can bring out the worst in seemingly sensible people ... and that's before you start on those who are just plain hard to get on with. It should and it can work well but some people just aren't willing to put stuff aside and try to be friendly.

I just sit in the corner, make myself horribly sick and enjoy the kids. The kids (all of them) come first followed by my Mum and Dad, everyone else's problems are their own.

Remember, it takes all kinds to stuff up a world.

Richard