Evil scientists plot uncovered- uses hand tools to lure victims

[E. maculata]

:D - the following is pure fiction & only the results of a rambling diseased mind :p
Today lost 6 hours of my life, how you ask?
Easy took 1 brand new stanley #4 disassembled, went thru wood heap found some reasonable Red Mahogany, proceeded to cut, shape, carve, turn sand & oil then fit 1 new front knob, and 1 new rear tote.
Please indicate from the following the logical reasoning for doing this.......
(a)the old ones where plastic
(b) they didn't look good
(c)they didn't fit my hands
(d)I am now an obsessive-compulsive hand tool freak who no longer produces anything but tuned, fettled, remanufactured handtools.

Yes it would appear (d) would be the correct answer

So I have deduced, purely hypothetical of course. ;)
If one was a mental health professional whom wished to become the countries leading expert in the above affliction, specialising in Hand planitis, how would you go about ensuring a steady stream of referrals. from coast to coast :eek:

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D take this a complement mate as that is it's intention

[DanP]

I believe that we have just such a specialist in our ranks who is the most afflicted of the lot. :D :D

Just a mild infection so far for me. (I'm deteriorating though) ;)

Dan

[Wood Borer]

There seems to be two streams of hand tool freaks.

One lot gets satisfaction from just collecting the tools and renovating them and then displaying them. People from this camp can probably tell you the name of the foreman of the afternoon shift where this tool was made 100 years ago.

Another lot primarily use them and appreciate the skills required to use them and appreciate the results after using them. This lot respects them mainly for what they can do but also appreciates their design and looks.

I am a member of the second lot. Some of the detailed information although interesting isn't relevant to using the tools. I respect them though.

- Wood Borer

[LineLefty]

Othes, (like me) started out using handtools because they couldnt afford machines. Then started to look for reasons to justify their hand too luse (other than $$) and the started to believe those reasons.

[Zed]

then there are those other schools of thought :

3) get the job done fast without buggering around with setups of machinary,
4) dont like the noise of machinary
5) do whatever is most conv.

cheers

[Wood Borer]

And have fun

- Wood Borer

[E. maculata]

Keep thinking that guys, I keep telling myself "its wholly my choice" ;)
it's all subliminal suggestions planted by our spiritual leader, this AKA as the illusion of free will.
Must go my new #6 was just delivered, have to go and fettle it, maybe new handles, re-japan, sharpen, hone......................

[Sturdee]

And there is the other group who very reluctantly admit to sometimes using some hand tools, not because they like using them but they are the best tool for the job as no machine to do it is available.


Unfortunately I now fall in this group. :eek:


Peter.

[Wood Borer]

Peter,

There are some who don't use tools at all but just buy woodwork. I think we all feel sorry for them but the professionals need them to put bread on the table.

- Wood Borer (regular power tool user but mainly hand tool addict)

[vsquizz]

I have no idea what this thread is about, I don't understand it. I never use hand tools.....I never use machines (because my shed is a pile of sheetmetal at the moment) I don't have 19 power tools & 21 chisels...I have no mental disorders...I don't buy tools just because I like them, I don't randomly build work benches just because I have some timber which would probably make a good bench...I never ever spend hours and hours sharpening my tools and I Never EVER tried to steal my brother-in-laws antique plane collection last christmas because I was a bit drunk and I just had to get my hands on them......

[Iain]

...I have no mental disorders......
WRONG You're on this BB aren't you? :rolleyes: :p ;) :D

[RETIRED]

I have no idea what this thread is about, I don't understand it. I never use hand tools.....I never use machines (because my shed is a pile of sheetmetal at the moment) I don't have 19 power tools & 21 chisels...I have no mental disorders...I don't buy tools just because I like them, I don't randomly build work benches just because I have some timber which would probably make a good bench...I never ever spend hours and hours sharpening my tools and I Never EVER tried to steal my brother-in-laws antique plane collection last christmas because I was a bit drunk and I just had to get my hands on them......

In denial Squizzy?? :D

[vsquizz]

I Never denied anything

Oh and I never never impulsively go to hardwares

[Kev Y.]

There seems to be two streams of hand tool freaks.

<SNIP> <SNIP>

- Wood Borer


Surely there is another stream - the ones who give their hand tools a pet NAME!

Kev ;) :rolleyes: :cool:

[Wood Borer]

Brudda,

I haven't gone that far yet - what's the stage after that?

Marrying your tools? I have heard of people dating their planes :confused:

[silentC]

I gave my bench a name, is that normal?

It's called Frankenstein, although I am considering Zed's proposed alternative, Frankenbench, as a pet name.

[Wood Borer]

Looks like I have some catching up to do Silent. Are there books with suggestions for names of tools?

[silentC]

WB,

Here you go: http://www.barrowdowns.com/middleearthname.php

I've used this to name my Carbatec TSC 10HB "Ruzurk the Slaughterer", which is it's Orkish name.

My Stanley #4 smoother is "Bôrrat the Testy" in Orkish, or "Otho Bracegirdle from Brandy Hall" in Hobbit.

[silentC]

My Bandsaw: Merin Cleverrage
My Router: Grotwakh the Tearer

It's uncanny....

[vsquizz]

After SWMBO saw what I did to the old shed she calls me "Whelan the Wrecker"

Cheers

[Iain]

Whats a pretty little sheoak like you doing in a jointer like this.................Oh Dear.... :(

[Wood Borer]

Thanks Silent.

According to the Red Book of Westmarch, In Middle-earth, Lie Nielsen number Five was a Sad Dwarf

According to the Red Book of Westmarch, In Middle-earth, Lie Nielsen Block Plane was a Springle-Ring-Dancing Gardner

According to the Red Book of Westmarch, In Middle-earth, Lie Nieslen Low Angle Smoother was a Friendly Balrog

I will go home now and greet my little lovelies. I am not so sure about the name of the block plane though and the number five although not as big as the number 7 is hardly sad or small, perhaps it is sarcasm.

[Driver]

Jeez and you blokes accuse Captain Crabtree of being strange! :rolleyes:

[silentC]

Captain Crabtree
Err, that would be 'Grúbburz the Meek', Col...or should I call you 'Ugdug the Wicked'.

A bit Jekyll and Hyde that: Driver is 'the Wicked' and Crabtree is 'the Meek'. Funny that your alter-ego is the meek one - exactly who takes the formula, you or Crabtree?

:D :D

[Termite]

In my shed i have something SWMBO has named ANNA (conda). :rolleyes:
Those of you who have seen a dust extractor hooked up to 5 machines in a small shed will know what she is talking about.
Kind regards
Termite

[silentC]

Those of you who have seen a dust extractor hooked up to 5 machines
I can only dream of that. I've got two lengths of flexible hose and a 12' length of 4" flue from the old heating oil water heater. One machine at a time for me :(

[vsquizz]

In the old shed the... ummm power distribution arrangement (alias about 6 powerboards and bunch of extension leads in a tangled mess) was known by er indoors as Spagetti Junction. I used to call it something else but the big guy with the scarey avatar prevents me from relating further:D

The old planer was known as "the monster" or more frquently as "Roaring Billy". The DC is called by my 4 yo daughter as "The Willy Willy" which may be pretty funny to some who don't know what a "Willy Willy" is. (see below signature).
The conversation goes like this;
4 yo "Daddy what are you doing"
Dad "I'm going to cut this piece of wood"
4 yo "but aren't you going to start up the willy willy first?"
Dad "uh umm ...yes yes, of course dear I was just seeing if you would remember it should have been running before I started"

I don't retain my workbenches long enough to develop a close personal relationship with them. Their main task in my hands is to be the workbench for the new workbench I am building :) . Then they get given away or sold. I kind of like the name Igor for a workbench, or perhaps Bill; aka william??:D

Cheers

[E. maculata]

Not yet so far down the abyss to have named the boys...AHEM sorry the handplanes individually, however a few months ago I called the belt sander a few choice names such as F#@@@#&** piece of $%^!, as I was extracting it from my shirt :eek: .

[bitingmidge]

I'm thinking my workbench must be the "invisible man".

:D
P