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rrich

13th July 2009, 05:05 AM

Borrowed from another forum

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Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he
Started eating right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do,' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer
before eating at our house.'
'That's at our house.' Johnny explained, 'But this is Grandma's
house and she knows how to cook!'

=====================

When I was young, we lived in Grandma's house well into my teens. The best meals in the world were when Grandma was cooking!

mickelmaster

13th July 2009, 08:30 AM

<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMichael%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><style>  </style> 3-year-old Reese:
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'

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A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was approached by his small son who told him
proudly, 'I know what the Bible means!' His father smiled
and replied, 'What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means? The son replied, 'I do know!'

'Okay,' said his father. 'What does the Bible mean?'
'That's easy, Daddy...' the young boy replied excitedly, '
It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was testing the children in my Sunday School class to see if they
understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale
and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every Sunday, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?"
Again the answer was "NO!". now I was starting to smile, this was
fun!

"Well then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the
children, and loved my family, would that get me into Heaven?" I
asked them again.

Again they all answered "NO!". I was just bursting with pride for
them.

"Well", I continued, "then how do I get into Heaven?"

A six-year old boy shouted out "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."